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Assuming that she is not a psychotic killer looking for another victim. . . :) :) :) realistically, what is the worst that can come from dating this woman?1. Can she steal your money from the bank?2. Can you take your automobile?3. Will you lose your job because you date her?4. Will she make your hair fall out?The worst that happens, realistically, is that she becomes possessive, you resent that and break up, and you go your separate ways. But that might not happen. You talked to her about this a few days ago, right? And she said "let's promise to date exclusively, spend some time together, but otherwise no pressure to make this proceed at any fast pace," and you agreed. And you were good with that agreement.Nothing has changed except that you are getting yourself all worked up. Perhaps this is a sign that you were not ready to start seeing someone new - as we all suggested - but it is too late to back up or end this without hurting someone else's feelings, and I know you don't want to do that.So, what do you do? Go out with her, tell her that you are feeling a little bit uneasy because of your recent traumatic break up, and simply ask for for some reassurance that this is not going to move too quickly for you. If she really cares about you, she will give you that reassurance.However, don't ask for that reassurance and then start spending every night together. That will send a mixed message to her.Capisci, amico mio?
I think you are right, thank you for your advice and encouragements.I never had that kind of panic and I'm finding it difficult to understand the exact reason, especially when everything was alright a moment before.I'm going out with her in a quarter hour, I think she understood I'm not doing well because she sent me an audio telling me she knows where to go to "lift me up". Hopefully it will go well.
I hope to hear a nice report later!
My fave reply hands down the best advice too.
This is probably the best and most honest advice I’ve heard
@El_Heffe @CuriousForever I appreciate your kind words!
Don't be yourself!I'll explain myself better: be your better self and not your worst self. Think what drew her to you!
You are right!
Dude I keep telling you what's your problem: you don't relax you are over defensive and always on edge and fear that she'll hurt you.NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE YOUR EX.Carve it into your skull. If this one is putting up with your many many many issues it's because she cares about you and wants to make you happy.Stop seeing enemies that don't exist, relax and let good things happen.
Okay, but it feels all so insecure
Relax and get off this website and focus on yourself and your girl. Log off now and go out with her and talk to her about this
Maybe you are right.
Jeez that’s some tough love 😂😂
Log off NOW!
Remind yourself that nothing bad will happen!
Conciser yourself a general and your relationship a war planYou think everything twice and make plans for advance and for tactical retreat, apply tactics on the field aka your life and use a suitable doctrine which is your true self and if you want to ask me how you get the experience as a general... Well , you learn from the trails and errors of other generals , study hard to get the knowledge , and know your... Well in this case not enemy 😂 but your wanted one... So you can preform your tactics according to the state of her.
Just breakup. i sabotaged mine when i didn't want to be un them anymore and couldnt bring myself to break up with them. U have to make them break up with you...
Okay but I'd like to try make it work at least
I did try. After a year of trying, its like fck it
I understand. I'll try to make it work, after all there's still time to break up or for her to murder me.
She that crazy?
No, my ex was but now I'm cautious that every girl can turn out like that, caution is never enough
Try to chill out. It will help you one day when a relationship fails despite you doing everything right. Life doesn’t make sense till you get older/wiser & then half of it makes sense
It'd be better to end it now or have her murder me right now then
Don't expect that she will try to make your decisions. The relationship will not move beyond your control because you have the option to leave. For financial comfort don't allow anyone to become entitled to any of your money. If someone tries to breach your boundaries you have the authority to control your boundaries.
Stop over thinking , relax , let what happens , happen . Don't think what if they say this or if they do that or I'm not good enough or am I enough. If it was meant to be , then it will be, just by you doing nothing but being your self. And that's the kind of love you deserve.
You can accomplish this by keeping your mouth closed unless you have a serious problem with them ! If your partner asks you if you have a problem with them then lovingly tell them the problem ! Thanks
why do you think you will sabotage your relationship?
I'm insecure and sometimes I pull away
scared to love?
I'm a bit scared she could turn out like my ex did
just gotta go slow and believe this time will be different.
Take your time and decide what do you want first. If you really love the person - try to make it work! If you are not sure - leave. But don't make a move before you are 100% sure and when you decide - stick to it!Unfortunately, I wasn't sure so I left and regret it later.
Well figure out first what is it exactly that could sabotage it from your side and focus on fixing that.
Stop asking so many questions on here, and talk to her.
You are right but I feel I'd prefer to avoid doing that, like something bad will happen.
If the something bad is that she finds out she doesn't want you, it's far, far, better that it happens after weeks or months, than years. You could do worse than inviting her to make an account on here and letting her look at what you've been going through.
Even if I really like her a part of me sees it as a relief if she wishes to end things, and although she knows what I went through I'd rather avoid her make an account here or see what I posted.Maybe I just fear she'll just go ballistic like my ex - after all saw one, I'd be stupid to not consider she could be like that too.
Aren't you looking for someone who isn't like that?
Yes, but how do I know she's not like that? I learned that people can hide their violent/crazy side very well.
Maybe she'll show you something similar.
Reason to end it before I get hurt then
I don't know my guy, but from my experience it's a lot less painful to have your trust broken then to drive someone you cared about away because of your mistrust, cause even if it goes badly, you can at least say you tried your best
Quit being so unsure and asking so many questions. Be confident, sure of yourself, outcome independent. You know you'll be okay no matter how things shake out.
i think knowing your self worth has a lot to do with it. when you feel you are worthy of someone you won't sabotage yourself out of a relationship.
Communicate with SO on were you are mentally they should be supportive and shouldn't get out of hand if you tried
Carry a Netf Bat to thump yourself we with when needed. Wear underwear 2 sizes to small as a reminder. All seriousness aside. Be honest and forthright with your lover and doubly for yourself.
That's a tough one. I think I do the same thing. I guess other people would say trust her and all that stuff.
Realize she picked you for a quality that other guys didn't have, so she wants you.
Relax and have fun. Every girl is not like your ex, trust me on this.
Love yourswlf and then you feel as if you deserve the good relationship
I'm not trying to tell you what to do, however I recommend taking a longer break on relationships and dating considering how controlling your ex was.
Become a " yes man" always answer yes.
just be honest
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