I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. It’ll be our anniversary soon. We live 3 hours apart. Up until now, I have felt stable in our relationship, saw him as my future husband. We talked about getting married, living together, etc. He’s taken me on several vacations, and this past summer took me to a wedding to meet his family. He’s always sending me presents. The past week has been stressful however. On Friday night I fell asleep around 8 (early but I was exhausted from work). So he hadn’t received a text after that point from me that night. He usually texts me first each morning, so I felt sad when he didn’t text me first Saturday. I eventually texted him & he said something about me not saying anything. I told him I had fallen asleep early. It was rocky that day, with him saying I don’t care or make an effort. I told him it’s not true and the last 2 times we’ve seen each other have been my ideas. I really love my boyfriend and feel like I have done many nice things for him as well. I have decorated several parts of his home, as he’d said 1 day I’d live there. He’s very special to me. Sunday, he told me he wants to be alone. We texted all day as normal although it wasn’t happy. He suddenly began saying how he thinks he no longer wants a family or to be married and doesn’t know what happened. He said he wasn’t happy with his life in general. Monday he didn’t text first again. I texted and he ignored me until afternoon, saying he needed space and telling me to move on. I told him to change the Facebook status then and he told me he was going to wait until the end of the week to see if he changed his mind. He told me he loved me when I asked though. Tuesday was upsetting as well, but he told me he would talk to me the next day. See edit for more info.
On Wednesday he picked up the phone on my 3rd call to him. We talked 80 minutes. He told me he didn’t know what changed, but he doesn’t want what I want. He told me he wasn’t feeling it the past few times we saw each other, that he doesn’t want to drive and that he thinks he might be supposed to live his life alone. I asked him then, if he was breaking up w/ me, and he said no. He said he might be depressed. (This is possible. His mom passed away before we began dating.)
There have been other things that made me wonder about him being depressed.) He said maybe the feeling is temporary. He also said maybe it’s in his head. I told him that I love him and want to be with him. He said he needed space to work on himself, and would let me know when he’s made his mind up on whether or not to continue our relationship. He said I could text him but he has his phone muted, and would check when he felt like it. He said he wants to do things on his terms. Said he loved me.