Unbalanced relationship roles; the ongoing gender war?

Why is it most women feel it is acceptable for them to behave in certain ways but unacceptable for men? Specifically, lying, cheating, and hitting. In my experience women tend to find these offenses forgiveable if not totally excuseable in ways they refuse to allow men. Is this common? My ex fiance did all three of these things to me. She was my best friend, almost 15 years. And so I didn't react very well. I secluded myself. Our sex life suffered tremendously. It took her months before she even apologized for one of these offenses and longer for them all. But she never actually showed any genuine effort to reconnect with me. Ultimately she left me for the man she cheated on me with because I "wasn't myself anymore." I'm trying to tell myself I shouldn't feel guilty... but I do. Despite realizing I was set up for failure. I'm heartbroken. And I feel worthless. And I'm just wondering if somehow I really am wrong for not swallowing my pride and fighting through my grief to give her all the things she wanted out of our relationship. I never intentionally tried to punish her or withhold anything. Most days I just felt so bad or stuck in my own head that I couldn't move without some sign from her that she wanted me to. And after she did finally really leave me she started telling everyone I was neglectful and abusive and that my behavior was totally unacceptable regardless of anything she did. I'm so confused. And hurt. And... I don't know what to feel. I'm 31 years old, for relevance and context.
Unbalanced relationship roles; the ongoing gender war?
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