How would you feel if your partner told you they want to be a housewife/househusband?

[CallMeDave]

I can tell you exactly because that has happened to me. After our second child was born, my ex-wife quit her job to be a full time mother and housewife. We had discussed that before having children and agreed that we'd like for one of us to stay home with the kids while they were young. We planned for that and saved up some money so that we would be able to live on just my salary for several years so when the time came and she said she wanted to do that, I felt fine about it. I was still a little worried about whether we could really live on just my income, but she did a lot of things to save us money - like wise grocery shopping, doing the cooking so we didn't have to buy prepared meals or go to restaurants, and making many of the children's clothes herself - and it turned out to be fine.

I think the key things for me would be could we live on just the one income and would she really do the work at home. In my case, she did do a lot of work at home and we were able to survive on just my income, partly because of the work she did at home, so it was fine, but if she was just sitting around all day doing fun things and not doing most of the cooking and cleaning and the other work around the house, I probably would not have liked that because I would have felt like I was being taken advantage of.

[Definitely]

I don't really know... I would generally discuss those things before getting the partner, but it that would come out of nowhere, I'm not sure what I would make of it. It wouldn't change my feelings, and as long as we're having enough to live decently I don't think I'd mind it. But if the money wouldn't be enough, then I'd have an issue with this decision.

[CubsterShura]

The fact is, in my religion it is obligatory for a man to earn money to provide for his family. I want to marry within my Faith so I am definitely not open to the idea of my man not making any income at all. However I am accepting of occupations that would allow him to spend a lot of time at home partially or entirely (and hence spend that time doing household chores and dad duties). So basically think of those housewives who make an income from home, and think that her income is enough to provide for the family (a lot of women earn more than their husbands by doing that here, no kidding). I don't mind a man in that place at all. Again, as long as he's not missing out on that I have nothing against a husband who would want to give a good amount of time in homemaking. Plus it means less load of work for me so why would I complain? Marriage is a teamwork and no matter what kind of lifestyle choices each of us make, when we marry we figure a way out to make things work for us and our family. Be it something normal, traditional, modern, egalitarian, out of the norm, whatever, in the end as long as we're not doing something that works for us and doesn't contradict my faith I'm open to it.

[midnightmoon05]

Yes, we had all those talks, discussions. At the end, it was my decsion and he supported with whatever I wanted to do.
She wants to be mom/wife... all good. She also seems to be into her career.
We change based on circumstances.
You two are having healthy communications. :)

I didn't care if I got marired or wanted kids.
One chapter closes, another opens.

So I became a wife, a mom, a housewife lol... now back to my career now that kids are older.

We go through changes.
Enjoy the journey...

[MzAsh]

That’s going to require you to be making a lot of money.

I’d rather there be two working in the household. But if he really wanted to be a househusband who kept the house well enough (my standards for that would be pretty high, not many would be willing to pull it off) I’d do what I can to make it happen.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think its better for the family when both parents work but I know some people prefer a different lifestyle. I've observed families where the woman were house wives and it seemed their children were less successful in their careers when they got older because their mother 's lack of career indirectly led to the children loosing their ambition in life. I find children are healthier mentally and emotionally and morally and psychologically when both parents set the example of being ambitious and career focused because a working person's mind set is different from a stay at home mom.

[TsundereMatrix]

This happened to a friend of mine. She married a guy who seemed to be the perfect husband for her but after they got married he told her he wants her to stay home and be a housewife and not work. She wanted to work (we were in college together so obviously) so she ended up divorcing him because he just didn’t care what she wanted. Now she’s dating my other college friend who was in a similar situation where he called off his engagement for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

Always been someone who wants to work or at least have an activity. But recently I've actually considering it a bit more. I guess I'm just being lazy, but I like the idea of staying at home and taking care of the house and cooking instead of having to work somewhere else. I've long wanted to be an artist which is something that is possible if you are a housewife. I don't know what my boyfriend thinks about this though. He wants me to start a YouTube channel with my art and try getting famous on twitch or something which I guess is hinting at he wants me at home. But I don't know. I want a way to earn money while staying at home so I can have time for other things than work. Right now, all I do is work. Even if I wanted kids I don't have time for such things

[MrCon10t]

Well, that's what I hope for. Honestly, that's what I want. Both to be able to provide to the extent that is a viable option and honestly, I want a wife that's pushing out and actually raising our children. Someone who wants to be at home. It'd be a dream come true to have someone like that to come home to every single day.

[SocialNinja]

I really want to be a stay at home mother, when and if I ever get the pleasure of getting married. But of course I would talk to my partner about how finances and how we could make things work first.

In my case, I have a small business that I could do from home, it would just be depending on space and if we decide I keep working

[LoU_Hades]

This is a question and talks about it annoyed me. It went even so far that my mother teamed up with my former girlfriend and they bombed me with these question and suggestions on every family meeting.
The girl I'm together with is divorced and she thought this will be a red flag for me as we begun with dating. She has different goals in life than wearing a white bride dress again.

[ashiakaleo]

I wouldn't like to be housewife unless my husband was bringing in millions. But also at the same time i like to have my own thing. If i was the one bringing in the higher pay i still would like it if my husband had his own thing. So ig im not actually for housewife/househusband

[thegirlfromthething]

If he was serious about it I don’t think I could continue the relationship. I want my husband to be self-reliant and not have to ask me for money whenever he wants something, and I don’t really see a reason for him to stay at home. It shouldn’t take all day to do regular cooking and cleaning- he could at least have a part-time job.

[corporateDrone]

My general rule on this is if she puts the same amount of work into maintaining the home as I feel I put into providing and I can afford it. No issues. Wouldn't be ok with coming gone to sh! t everyday after work. My wife wmdid the "housewive" thing for about 3 years. She got bored and is back in school. Part of the reason for her being gone was to spend the first few years with our little dude when he was born.

[Tyladron]

If whomever I am ever in a relationship with and she told me that she wants to be a housewife I would allow her too, I mean it's not really my choice. Though I would still encourage her too go out and do things or find a job, ultimately it would be up to her and I would back her up no matter what she chooses.

[pleasestopthis]

I'd ask him what is his motivation or why he likes the idea. I personally don't enjoy the idea of depending on my husband's money and would prefer to have my own cash, but if there are little children I want to raise them myself instead of hiring a stranger to take care of my kids.

[Massageman]

We've changed roles a few times, when one or the other of us was out of work. We just had to do whatever we had to do to- legally- to just get through the day, week, month, etc. So, more in response to the question, neither of us really stated they wanted to be a this or a that. We both knew what had to be done, we both worked, and we both tended kids and the house.

[MysteriousDarkness]

I would not be happy sincw it would mean she would have to quit her career and all the financial responsibility would be on me. If something happen to me and caused me not to be able to work for quite some time then we would not have any money comming in.

[dipeshb]

This was something I would have discussed earlier before marriage. I don't mind if my partner wants to bcome housewife but accordingly lifestyle needs to be adjusted as only 1 person will be earning. Ideally, it's very bad to be financially dependent on someone nowadays.

[StephenCF]

I’d feel delighted knowing that she doesn’t let the pressure of feminism force her into into a career-focused lifestyle that she doesn’t care for as much as raising our children or keeping our house in order

[Samhanks]

If a man has sufficient income to take care of all expenses including ones which will come up in future when he gets children, etc. its best for a woman to be a housewife so that she can take care of the house, kids/family with her personal care and attention.

[zaharaa]

personally I wouldn't mind the idea either way 🤷‍♀️ I got a lot of money saved up and am willing to put the food on the table for my kid and husband or even stay at home and do my thing

[evansmal]

I'd hate to have to support a family on a single income, so if my partner said anything of the such I would try to talk them out of it.

[Ianto]

From the male perspective there may well be benefits to having a partner not exposed to workplace stressors, but only if financial concerns don't replace them. However, the lack of intellectual stimulus can be a negative thing.

[desperatelyhungry]

It would be a deal breaker. A man who won't get his ass up and help provide for his family is a bum and a poor excuse for a man.