May I ask how best to make you feel comfortable?
Say my name, smile, don't make it seem like you're just joking or someone out you up to approach me
Do it frequently. Unless you think he's the guy that would get weirded out by too much. But I don't think he is by his description
That's very true.
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That's not exactly true. I have shy tendencies but I also know how to ask questions. I tend to listen a lot but in some places where I feel more free, I give forth more information about me. I am also a deep thinker and overthink. I spend more time on my own than with people. Shyness and Introverts are not the same.
I can be very quiet, I am not an extrovert either.
Asker, that's you but it takes practice. And you should know that unless you naturally have a desire to know people. Other introverts are not like you. I know introverts and shyness are not the same. I've preached that since day 1. But again, that is who he is. It's nothing major for you to stress over.
And as an INFJ I am no different than what you are talking about. But I also know what it's like to be deathly quiet where I do not wish to speak further. Other personality types are not always equal or the same.
My question was not re an introvert but instead shyness... You have focussed on this throughout. He is talkative to people he knows and not THAT introverted.
But he doesn't know you that well, does he? You need to understand that is a choice to be shy. He's testing the waters because again, trust issues. He doesn't need to worry about forming many bonds with other people. But this is somebody your more and likely trying to date right? Again, sounds like he may not be as interested in you as you are about him.
What are you talking about related to dating? This is a guy at work.
You really are a strange one. A group of us are trying to make him feel comfortable and you're saying move on, he's not interested in you. You are a very negative person. There is only one person who has spoken here who actually answered with conviction. You seem rather horrid in character, to be frank. Quite aggressive.
Asker, no offense but that's how you choose to take me because there's obviously something going on that you personally want out of this person that you are not getting and you are upset about it. I'm not here to be aggressive or hard or anything that you want to judge me by. I'm just trying to get a sense of what your intentions are, and it sounds like to me you're not happy with the results you get. What other people's opinions are is their opinion. I can see it kind, I can see a gentle, I can see it mean, I can see it nasty, I can say it anyway I desire to say it, and you still won't like my answer. You can't try to make a person feel comfortable if they don't already feel comfortable. As somebody who's claiming to be another introvert you should know this by now it's real basic.
Whether you think he's interested in you and being a friend, or dating, or whatever it is you expect him to reactive be it's very clear he's not interested. The fact that you are missing these simple cues is very frightening. He doesn't feel like talkin much and that's just who he is. You can't make a person want to open up to you if they don't feel like opening up. It sounds like he appreciate you trying, but he knows exactly what you're doing and he's not interested. Please! I don't know why you're taking such personal offense to something that's very much as the truth.
And the fact that you happen to like the other male uses response which is obviously based on sexual attraction and physical attraction, tells me that you secretly like this guy and isn't just trying to be friends with him, and because he's isn't responding to your receptiveness, you're getting a little bit peeved. Come on, ask her I'm really not stupid. You're crushing on this guy and you don't like the answer I gave you because you actually want to be with him because you think he's kind and nice. I'm not judging you because you have a crush on him and you want to develop a friendship. In all honesty I say go for it if that's what you really want with this guy. But please don't try to pretend like that's not what you really want from this. Because if you think I'm stupid and that's where I will take offense. Because my opinions were not to make you feel bad about yourself or that you're a bad person. My opinion is that from what I am seeing based on everything that you're writing he's just not interested. I'm sorry if you can't handle the truth.
I can say it kindly oh, I can be gentle*
Don't forget I'm a woman also I'm not blind to women tactics whenever they see somebody that they find attractive. What it is it's not so much because you're trying to befriend him you're frustrated that he supposedly losing interest in you and you fear hell never have interest in you in those ways. And if what I'm saying is true which I highly sentient feel in my gut that is the case, you would respect his wishes. He'll come and talk when he's ready.
But judging how you came off on me and the other male use it at also shared the same sentiments, and calling both of us aggressive. I believe I can safely say that you're the one that has a whole character and most importantly you're the one that's fake. And I got news for you. We don't like fake people..
My dear, this person, comes around my work desl every week, so I'm making conversation or at least, attempting to. They don't have to but they still do each week. They do say hi without me going right up to them to chat. We obviously are looking at this from different angles. I'm not trying to argue however throughout this discourse, you've taken a particular stance. That's your prerogative. Thank you for your opinion however you don't have all the facts.
Introversion and Shyness is not the same. This is proven by research. You can have varying levels of introversion but not be shy in nature. My father enjoys his own company and would be self contained and happy living on a dessert island. He always says 'you dont need people.' I wonder what he's on about haha. In comparison, I get shy. I get shy due to insecurities and inadequacies. I will not feel comfortable speaking forth or asking a person questions when I feel more inadequate at that time. I however listen and know how to ask people a lot of questions about them in my day job and enjoy it.
Also the question is re shyness and not introverts.
Start over at the beginning and read it again.
I'd guess they're not interested in asking you any questions because they don't want to listen to you. You have exhibited that you don't listen so it's equal treatment.
*Introverts don’t tend to like superficial small talk.* Not that shy and introverted are the same thing, but extroverts often confuses the two… If you’re not interesting, an *introvert might respond to certain questions to be polite, but they think you are boring a shit.* You have focussed on introverts throughout this time..
You too, aggressive remarks and responses. No thanks