How do I handle a situation where I expressed hurt feelings to a friend and she completely went off the rails on me in in response?

Anonymous
We are supposedly best friends. We used to hang out all the time and talk all the time but we haven’t hung out in months and when we talk, which is seldom, it’s very short lived. I may get a handful of short responses back, at best. I have been seeing on instagram all these things she’s tagged in with other friends and vice versa. Such as group pictures, talking about a friend vacation that she didn’t personally extend an invite to me, she posted on her instagram story that if anyone else wanted to join, could. We had this conversation a month ago and she was basically like “it’s just work related stuff you’re seeing and because of my divorce I just don’t have emotional energy for anyone.” I get mourning the loss of something but she also has been in another relationship while still living with her husband who has no idea. Multiple actually. Anyhow, I saw more stuff that just didn’t seem like it was work related and basically was like “hey I know we talked about this but I’m still seeing xyz and I’m feeling left out. I’m not sure what’s going on or if this is some of my shit getting inserted in here but this is how I’m feeling”... and she just unloaded on me. She called me selfish, high maintenance, codependent, manipulative, childish, and some other things that are not coming to mind at the moment. Even when I tried to maintain being fair and trying to see both sides, giving credit and validation to her position until I finally was like “you know it’s not any of those thing and now i’m just tired of your crap but f*** you for being such a b**** about it”. Then she never responded. Was I in the wrong? I tried so hard to keep my cool but I just finally lost it.
How do I handle a situation where I expressed hurt feelings to a friend and she completely went off the rails on me in in response?
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