Note to ex- apologizing and asking for him back... thoughts?

I miss you. I think I made a mistake. I think of you all the time and now I know what it feels like to have completely lost you. I’m not myself, always sad. I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore, but I want you back in my life, in any way. I don’t like my life without you in it. I feel like half of me is missing. I don’t know how this happened, but life isn’t the same without you. I’ll respect your wishes if you want to be with other people and to never talk to me again, but I had to tell you in hopes that maybe you’d respond. It’s up to you, and maybe this is stupid of me to even be thinking this way, but all I know is that I haven’t been happy this month and miss you, more than we both would have expected. I think I finally understand what you were feeling since I feel it now too. Other guys and a fun lifestyle only make me feel it more. I need you. I never wanted things to end like this. Maybe it’s for the best, but I’ve tried to move on, forget you and forget all that happened, but I only seem to miss you more and more and feel worse. I know it would take a miracle for you to respond in a kind manner, or at all, and a bigger one for us to be in each other’s lives, but I think our love was worth the risk of looking stupid and trying to ask for your forgiveness at the very least. I’m truly sorry for “threatening” you, you know I would never go to such lengths to hurt you like that. I was hurt, drunk and immature. I wish I could take it back, but since I can’t, I’m just going to ask if you could find it in your heart to forgive my foolish comments. At this point, I feel like I can’t live without you, that I want you back. I want your arms around me and to be able to tell you I love you. Now that I’ve had space to think about it, the truth is, I do still love you and it’s hurt me more than anything that you left me, again, for someone else. I wish I didn’t care, but I do and it scares me. You mean so much to me, that it’s taken some time to actually realize what you mean to me. I know we have HUGE problems, but I can’t help but hope that maybe someday things will be OK and maybe we can be together in the future. I can’t believe I can’t move on, but the truth is Vinny, I miss you more than words could describe. You’re my other half and I need that back. I miss our Friday nights, coming home to you, calling you when I’m scared. I would love to hear from you, but understand and will accept your silence. Our love was worth my humiliation and fear of rejection…
Note to ex- apologizing and asking for him back... thoughts?
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