I just can’t sit and listen to him talk talk about girls he’s dating, girls he thinks are “bad” or whatever and yes I have had this conversation multiple times have have tried to cut him off before for at least a short time so I could get myself straight. But he was like “I don’t want to lose you” and I didn’t really wanna go so I didn’t... but my feelings keep getting worse and it’s getting harder to hide them. I don't know if I can do it anymore... I don't know if it’s worth it. I just keep thinking what if he gets a girlfriend... I don’t wanna be around that. I just feel rejected, embarrassed, sad that he doesn’t feel the same way... but sometimes we kiss when we are drunk which makes things worse but he said he wasn’t being himself. He says the reasons for us to remain friends outweighs the reasons for us to be more. I want to protect myself not feel like or look like I’m forcing him to feel anything for me because I don’t want that if it isn’t real. Am I overreacting? How should I handle this? Opinions? Thoughts?
He does know I like him. I told him. We had several conversations about it. He convinced me to stay around because he doesn’t wanna lose me. I don’t want to have another conversation... plus I told him I didn’t like him anymore. So I’ve been trying to pretend that I don’t but I’m not good at hiding my feelings and it honestly sucks to have to do it.
Plus is being together would be a lot of drama so idek if I want that either