Am I an asshole for becoming completely fed up with my boyfriend overstepping when it comes to my children?

Anonymous
We have been together for about 6 years. I have 3 kids. They are not his. At first he was super respectful and never overstepped me, though he did help speak to the kids about their wrong doings. I appreciated the hell out of him for this. Up until 8 months ago this remained our order of things.
However, now it is his way or the highway. If I say no, he says yes. If I say yes, he says no. If the kids want to watch tv I have to ask him. If they want a snack, they have to ask him. He grounds them often when they aren't even doing anything serious (if they ask to play electronics too much, argue even slightly, misbehave in the simplest of ways, etc). If I go against him (which is ALWAYS due to him neglecting to communicate anything with me about what he has already told the kids) he instantly starts saying things like "I seriously feel like you are out to get me". When in all actuality I am made to look like an asshole every single day because he always goes completely against me, no matter what I say. This is pissing me off. I have told him this so many times. They are my kids, plain and fucking simple and he needs to back off or get out.
So today was like any other. We actually had a great day up until dinner. My youngest wanted more bbq sauce for his meatloaf so I went to grab him some. As soon as I went to squeeze some on his plate my boyfriend screamed from the other room "No! I already gave him some and he doesn't need anymore!" I threw the bbq sauce back in the fridge and let him have it. My exact words were "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm done with this bullshit! If I say yes it means fucking yes! He is my son, not yours and I pay for the fucking food here, god damn it! Like it or leave it, I dont give a shit at this point!". He shot me the nastiest look and stormed out of the house with his guitar to get away from me and then told his brother I'm being an asshole. And no, this argument was not in front of the kids. I made sure we were away from them.
Am I an asshole for becoming completely fed up with my boyfriend overstepping when it comes to my children?
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