Now imagine someone else told you this, what would you say to them. How long are you going to torture yourself in this relationship? If she still demands it fully knowing it's not as pleasurable for you, you will feel worse and worse each time. Yes, she needs sex and she should get it, but not like this, not until you work out what it is exactly that makes you feel this way getting intimate with her. I really don't think this is past relationships or your upbringing anymore, I think its the fact she sees it as a duty you need to perform in order to show affection, and not a mutual connecting thing. Guys do this to girls all the time, they are usually the highly sexual ones, while girls while they enjoy it, they need a healthy emotional connection and state of mind in order to even want it. So guys if they dont get enough sex, they see it as the girl not taking care of them, and the girls end up doing it anyway while it feels almost wrong.
She doesn't demand it, but she pointed out that she has doubts whenever I find her attractive or if I have a normal orientation. She says it's all a problem in my nerves and that I need to relax, hence why she wants me to get pranotherapy, because at my age is not normal to have such a low drive and that we need to fix what doesn't work. Then there are the other issues of course.
I remember long time ago you mentioned something like if you don't get intimate, she sees that as you not caring. Not finding her attractive is even smaller thing. And if she tells all you need to do is relax, if she truly believes that's all it takes, she doesn't get it at all. She should ask why are you tense to begin with. I think if there is such thing as sex therapy she should go there with you. I used to think this is past trauma for you, but now I'm convinced it's the way you guys approach sex and she does not even try to figure out what is pleasurable for you. You both need mutual understanding and desire, cuz It's not all about the physical. Until emotional needs are not met, sex can feel like something to get through, not to enjoy.
That's correct. She says that sex is a primary form of bonding so no sex means there's something seriously wrong. I do think that for all our issues, we do understand well each other on many things, but when it comes to that she's almost a different person, and sometimes she can be scary. I get it that in those cases it's ''all a game'', but it doesn't help. What I don't understand is that she told me how much she didn't enjoy sex with her ex boyfriend, that she was always unsatisfied yet kept doing it because she loved him. And yet when I expose similar issues on my part I either run into a wall, or she cries, or she questions my being attracted to her and now even my orientation. I recognize that in many things I don't behave well with her and this only worsens the situation, from not talking or bottling up stuff and then have an outburst or start confiding too much with other people, but every time her to go solution is ''Do as I say and everything will be alright''. She's not like that only with me, but with her friends too. I took notice of some eye-rolling from a couple of them when for movie night she picks the movie without listening to any other proposition and goes on about why we have to watch that movie and etc.
Yep
especially when im going though some emotional shit. Like im almost grateful if they break up with me or stay mad at me for weeks. I honestly find it a relief.
I need space to breath. I need space to think. I dont want to hurt people feelings. So it heights my anxiety to a level that... well it comes out wrong and i wind up hurting the person feelings anyway.
I'm sure opening up and talking to the person would help but i honestly feel like most people won't understand or get it.
And i just dont have time to to prove my feelings. I take my feelings pretty serious when i do get them because they are so hard for me to calculate. it like the DA vince code when i get emotions.
But when im emotional i avoid humanity period
there was this point where I was just with my girlfriend on my bed and we were talking and at that moment it hit me that she is the one. She is the one I want to marry and I wanted to cry but didn't.
Later that night we were kissing and then I did cry. I couldn't control it
@AmeliaaToki fuck off
😊😊😊 its best to let it out then keep it in.
Is the problem a general distaste for intimacy with any partner, or is the problem this particular partner?
It's general but with her it's worse
It sounds like you need to look inward for the answer to this problem.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Not really. But at times it feel my partner does.
It's really annoying.
I wish she would rather talk about it.
Did you try asking of something is bothering her when you feel like something feels off? I imagine it’d be a hard thing for her to bring up. imagine feeling that way and rethink to talk about it and worrying it can be mistaken for something you are not saying as well as being judged. Course for me if I felt that way I’m not going to do it. So I can’t quite relate... but I think I’d for sure try to talk to my partner if I felt he felt that way. I wouldn’t want anyone having sex with me feeling bad in any way. That sucks.
That's why we often don't do it. She is a very conservative person. She rarely let's out her feelings. But when I do realise something is off , I just stop everything and try to make her feel better. It's the only think that makes sense at that time. Imagine my guilt if I still go ahead with the act.
Lmao why are you with her again 🙈 but no i wouldn't cry at the thought of intimacy. I have however cringed because i was losing attraction since he gained a lot of weight. But i just closed my eyes and eventually enjoyed it
There are only 2 reason I would cry at the mere thought of intimacy with my partner:
1. Its our first time together
2. I am disgusted by the thought of having to sleep with them.
There are other reasons but those would more likely occur during sex or right after for me.
Tears of pleasure or joy yeah. But never tears of negativity.
Yea because he’s been with other girls and I’m afraid I’m not good enough, I kinda don’t want to do anything with him after thinking about that.
Yeah. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not good enough for him even though he tells me constantly that I am the only girl he wants.
He is so lucky to have someone so honest and as courageous as that.
I’ve cried afterward
Why cry😅😅
Unless it's rape🤷🏿♀️
No never
Hmm can't say it's something I've ever experienced.
1 maybe because of passion , 2 because it feels good, or 3 its intense
Hell no its ine of the highlights of the relationship or should be.
Too many times.
Nope
No... dude... why are you marrying this person?
No I haven’t. I understand people who do though. Intimacy makes someone feel vulnerable
It was happen to me during a bdsm I was completely blindfolded and tied he starts his fingering and all but it beacome uncomfortable and painful but I am unable to show it whenever I think about if feels like cryimg
Tears of happiness
I've cried of happiness after good sex
My girlfriend who has a fear of intimacy when we first got together did the first couple of times we took our relationship a bit further and got more physical.
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