2 years ago I was in love with this guy and he claimed to be in love with me but supposedly he was “going through some stuff” and he was beginning to talk to me less and less. He was my first love, I had given my virginity, I met his whole family-I thought we were in love. I never thought he would ever play me but eventually we fell off completely. We had a few talks that were oddly emotional for both of us but ultimately we ended on what I considered okay terms despite the closureless-ness of things. I texted that I forgave him but he never responded. But in his mind we ended with me still loving him deeply. It wasn’t until almost 6 months later that I found out he was in a relationship (which had ended by that point) with another woman that had started during the time we were together. I was so humiliated at how I had basically continued to love him all that time, pray for his wellbeing hoping he would “get better” and the truth was hard. I struggled to forgive him afterwards and couldn’t find the strength to feel secure in myself again. I decided to just heal, despite how long it took, I knew that I wanted to be completely whole again before I got into another relationship. So I figured that if I could force myself to forgive him I would be able to finally feel ready for love again. I didn’t want to see him in order to forgive him, I just wanted to do it in my heart. But I couldn’t. So today I was walking into the store and we both looked right at each other. He looked surprised, I’m sure I did too. But after a second, I turned around and grabbed a drink from the fridge and continued shopping without saying anything. I have been thinking about it all day. I don't know if it makes me look bad that I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t think I even wanted to. Tbh Seeing him made me feel sick. Yes, I still have some love for him deep down but I hoped I would never see him again. I don't know what he thinks of me not speaking.