Am I being unreasonable?


My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and recently moved in together. He has 2 children. Recently we have been arguing over finances as he’s a gambler and has managed to gamble our rent money away and is constantly lending from others (including me) to be bailed out. He swore last time was the last time which is why I’m sticking around to see if there’s a change.

As of Friday we are both off for a week. I have made plans over the weekend to see friends I haven’t seen for months and I am at a 60th which has been rearranged twice already. I told him of these plans several times. Today he asked me to rearrange because he’s booked a weekend away for us and the kids. I said no. Mainly because I don’t know where he’s got the money from to afford it, but also because this holiday wasn’t discussed and I have already made arrangements with people I never get to see when I’m working full time.

I offered to drive down on the Saturday morning and go home the Sunday afternoon (they go Friday evening) meaning I could still make my plans and spend time with him and the kids as well, but he wasn’t happy with that and he said there was no point as it was a “weekend away”. He then said he was cancelling the whole thing because I had put a “dampener” on it all. I explained that I wasn’t happy because I gave him plenty of notice of my plans, but he gave me no notice of this weekend and is then just expecting me to cancel when he knew full well what I had planned. He is now saying “it was a surprise so why would I tell you?”. But why would you book a surprise when you know your partner already had plans?

He then went on to say if it was the other way around that he would 100% rearrange plans with friends he can see “all the time” if it meant having a little family holiday - in other words he’s putting me in a position where he’s making me choose between him and my friends and because I’ve chosen to still see my friends he’s “second best”.

Am I in the wrong?
Am I being unreasonable?
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