I’ve tried to hurt myself when people leave?

I’m really worried about myself. I’m dating someone and I’m scared about them abandoning me. In the past if someone abandons me I have cut myself, I’ve hurt myself, got drunk and even have tried to commit before because I just can’t handle the pain of being left. I’m trying my best to not be like this anymore but it scares me. Whenever I’m having sex with someone I like a lot I sometimes almost cry because im scared they’re gonna leave me. I can’t deal with getting left and I’ve honestly done bad things to myself. I’d get purposley drunk to forget about it but that results in me wanting to die even more. Is something wrong with me. I’m so worried to even still date this person
I’ve tried to hurt myself when people leave?
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