Girlfriend going to a party I'm not invited to?

So we've been together for a few months and I've met her parents but not her friends. She just told me that she's going to her friend's bonfire party, drinks, hot tub etc. She apparently asked if I could come and was told by her friend that her boyfriend's friend will be there and he has sexual history with my girlfriend so it's best that I don't come because her boyfriend and this guy will be nasty towards me over it. She said she was worried about telling me this in case I got upset by it, well she was right, I don't mind dealing with ***holes, but this sounds really wrong. I think if the tables were turned she wouldn't be happy with me going and I'd understand that.
2 mo
She's now really annoyed with me saying I don't trust her.
2 mo
Me to her:

How I would like this to have been handled:

"so Jays invited me to this party and she thinks that her boyfriend and that guy will be nobs to you over the things I've done with him, I can imagine how uncomfortable this would make you and with everything we've been through, so you can either come with me anyway or I won't go"
Girlfriend going to a party I'm not invited to?
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