"it is indeed better not to love rather than to have loved and have pain."Very true. If you never experienced love, at least you would believe it as a beautiful thing. And you would seek it.. It would be like having a hope
@N0rri9Radd And then what happens once the person you love walks away? What happens when this person cheats on you? What happens when this loved one dies? Those are 3 examples of pain that you will experience.
I was saying I agreed with yours.
@N0rri9Radd oh, okay
It seems you know how toxic this place is. People only see the negative side because of it.
Thanks for the MHO
You avoid criticizing this place, any reason?
@N0rri9Radd I have done my share of criticism and occasionally will still do it.My last criticism is the fact that once you reach the status of Influencer, your profile is automatically public, which leaves the door open to perverted DMs by mostly guys, including those under the disguise of the pink account.
Can't you ask them to remove the influencer tag? Do you have any benefit out of it?Yes, there is no way a girl could disgrace herself like some girls do to themselves on here. It is possible those accounts being guys.
I keep getting reported for offensive posts; but the best offense is a good defense! Yay, pain!
Very true! Life should be enjoyed as much as possible, without an outside person taking happiness away.
Thanks For Most Helpful Guy :)
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I'm definitely more on the indifferent side. I'm a bit fed up with relationships.
Same here. I don't think I was ever big on it to begin with, and finally realized it wasn't for me after I felt nothing but relief after leaving my last relationship and have not wanted another one since (nearly 5 years). I personally really enjoy all of the free time I get to myself, being able to make my own decisions without consulting anyone else or having to compromise, etc.
I feel that way also. I have so much more peace when being single than when being in a relationship. They make me feel so weighed down and like I lost my freedom.
Yes, me too! I have never wanted to go back to being in a relationship. I feel like I would have to give up so much!
I don't care very much about finding romance.
I just want peace.
So why the question?
Why are you asking a question that you've already answered? Perhaps you are not really sure of your answer?
@KrakenAttackin I just wanted to find out if anyone else feels this way.
@OlderAndWiser I do worry that I might regret that decision one day. So I'm wondering which would bring more pain in the long run: trying to find love or not trying to find it.
I am alone now. I have been in several long term relationships and I have been in love several times. When relationships go bad, they really, really hurt, but when relationships are good, there is nothing else in the world that can bring you so much peace and joy.Imagine driving home after work every day, knowing that there is someone who wants to give you a hug and a kiss as soon as you walk in the house! Imagine someone who can say "I love you" even in the midst of a disagreement. Imagine having someone who is so loyal that you don't wonder, but you KNOW that they will always be there when you need them. Imagine walking side-by-side in the grocery store, holding hands with someone who has been at the center of your life for 17 years, or 32 years, or even 54 years.I love my two cats and I think they love me, but I need a romantic partner in my life, and I'm still looking.
What you are talking about is risk-taking strategy. One strategy is to seek the possibility that offers the greatest potential gain, ignoring the losses that you might incur if your chance does not pay off as you had hoped. The other strategy is to seek the possibility that minimizes the loss that you will incur if things go awfully wrong.Think about investing. You invest in something that is speculative but, if it pays off, it will pay off very well. . . but you might also lose all of your investment. Or you invest in something that is safe and secure, with very little or even no risk of loss, but it pays a very small return on your investment.Are you content to live a life in which you minimize your potential losses, or do you want to take a chance and maybe find something that could make you happy for the rest of your life. When you are 60 years old, looking back on your life, which choice will bring you the greatest satisfaction with how you lived your life?
I get it. I also appreciate your quest for peace as I share it. "Romance" has never brought me peace, unfortunately. In my experience peace is a creature of solitude.
i think you view love as something deep and emotional,thats not true, you dont have to make a choice to love someome, you can simply love someone for who they are, and u can't help that, u might not have the choice to “not love someone”sometimes u jus will and u can't stop it happening, but thats not a bad thing, loving someone doesn't have to involve pain and i dont know why u think it does,a girl i love... if she left me or walked away or cheated on me i wouldn't care, u only care if u make the choice to care,i only love her now as she is, cos i can, but if she died or left me, why dwell on it and be sad?i would instead be happy i got to spend some moments with her and cherish the good times we had and not be sad about her leaving
you gotta view love as jus this hollow thing that comes and goes instead of putting so much emotional attachment on it
@OlderAndWiser. The problem is that women have fundamentally changed.
@KrakenAttackin Our personal experiences all bias our perceptions of romance and the opposite sex. I am as biased as you are
I don't care very much about love.
Well if you don't want love that's your choice and fair enough. Just don't start to regret it as you get older and well that's a hard thing to recognize if it will happen or not.
What I meant was romantic love, not love for family members.
But I was using that as a comparison. I went on to talk about a life partner towards the end. You can't avoid the pain of losing a family member, but if you could would you want to? Simply not love your family to avoid the pain. The same is with an SO. That type of love can be found with them. If you value love with your family that same love can be worth fighting for. Just because life causes you pain does not mean it's the wrong choice. Even exercise can tell you that. But even further, if you were helping a recovering alcoholic friend, and they treated you poorly, is it worth if you help them to stop drinking at the end. That's love that comes at the risk of pain. I think love is worth the cost
@FatherJack. Bravo! Well said sir.
@Flower7 maybe you’ll answer my question... what is it women offer to make it worth all the effort men would have to go through to stay in the game?Perhaps check out my question directly and give an opinion
Being that I am a woman, I'm not the right person to answer that type of question.
I’ve asked the question a dozen times but no women will answer... us like why should we offer anything... we’re the prize the catch... you chase us... Seriously why can't women just not tell my why the fuck I should bother giving them what they want...I’m not being rude to you I’m just tried off women declaring their worth but never telling me what they have of value...
This is a very realistic answer!
That sounds really nice, to have never had any of those bad experiences.
So do you have any regrets about not finding anyone?
I have some regrets
I do feel like I can live without a companion. I enjoy living alone.
there you go then. if you are happy then there is nothing wrong with it at all
That sounds like a good compromise!
I'm not trying to be in a relationship.
Avoiding love won't cause me pain since I don't care about it.
You think you don't care about it. You tricked your mind to believe it, because you're afraid you will be hurt (that's why you mention pain in title) . You just suppressed your need for love. Which is not individual, it's a part of being a human. If you truly believe in that, you wouldn't ask this question. You wouldn't even think about whether or not avoiding love will cause your pain. Suppressing emotions in that way only does harm to your body.
I'm on the asexual spectrum. So it's very hard for me to even have romantic or sexual feelings for people in the first place. There have been a few times that it happened in the past, but it was a very bad experience each time. Not very much pleasure ever came from dating anyone.
That doesn't mean that you won't find someone who will be good for you, whom you will love and who will make you feel loved. Regardless of your past experiences. I just think it's not good to choose to forever be closed for relationships with people. You might miss a good chance.At least, from your perspective, you can hardly be obssesed with someone, you can be cautious with potential partners. You can take things slow, when you see there is a possibility to be with someone. Even if you find out you can't connect with them, when you start things carefuly, you can move on easily at early stages of new acquaintanceship. Before you become dissapointed.And you can always focus on other things in life. People who need partners more than anything can often have a problem to do other stuff. If you don't have some other major problem in your life, you can devote yourself to something, like job or something like that.
Yes, I do mean romance. And no, I have no problem with being single. I'm usually happier when single than I am while in relationships.
Being single doesn't always mean being lonely. Some single people are happy.
I am a man of science and dont' believe that. We are meant to have a partner.
That's more what I meant, is to avoid relationships in general.
Well, don't reject having a relationship with someone if they're genuine.
There's a good chance of a person never getting real love anyway.
maybe but i would rather take the chance then always wonder
Except that food is necessary to stay alive and dating isn't. Big difference.
Love fake... the closest things a mother who dies shielding her baby from danger... a father that leads the bear from his family to certain doom upon him... relationships that rely on love will eventually fail.
@VanillaSalt Say that to all the happy couples in-love.
Let me correct that... relationships that rely solely on love will eventually fail...
It's definitely toxic! You're right about that.
Losing love causes trauma.
So does playing football.
I don't do that either!
Love isn't something that I'm very interested in.
Well there you go :)
Hypothetical situation. Lets say your family, relatives, and friends are happily in a relationship, happily engaged or happily married but you are still single. What are you going to do? I am not saying you have to be with someone..
Yes, but there are some things that are preventable.
Those seem like the same thing to me...
No. Avoiding love and not feeling love are two different things entirely. In avoiding love you can still “feel” it. Not feeling it leaves you indifferent to it. It doesn’t move you emotionally at all.
Personally, I would prefer to have never loved at all. Then I wouldn't have so many bad memories.
Thats because you haven't yet experienced the other side.
Exactly, that's my point. I haven't seen the positive side of love, so I'm not very optimistic about it. There's no guarantee that things would be better the next time around.
True, it is a roll of the dice, but you have a 50/50 chance
There are many other parts of life outside of dating...
he has a point,my fear is of people, i have very bad social anxiety, i just stay in the house all alone with no friends and still a virgin, now is that the good thing to do?is it better to avoid the social aspects of life jus because of fear? clearly what im doing isn't healthy and i should push myself out my comfort zone to get a more fufilling life...
you can't say someone like me is truly living cos “theres other aspects of life” than socializing... same with avoiding love... ur not living ur life to its full potential and u will regret ur decision later on...