My fiancé’s mom is too controlling. What do I do?

Anonymous
Hey all,

I’m hoping you can give me some advice.

My boyfriend Rob and I are both 27 years old and have been dating for almost a year. We fell in love almost instantly when we met. We share the same values and outlook on life, and we’re extremely happy together. While we currently both live with our respective parents, we’re planning on getting engaged by the end of the year with the hopes of getting married in 2021.

There’s just one problem.

His mother is very attached to him and overprotective.

She’s a lovely lady and has been nothing but good to me. However, I feel like she is struggling to let go of her son. I have outlined below some of the things she has done recently:

- When my boyfriend and I are together, she calls him multiple times a day to check in. These calls last 10+ minutes. Keep in mind that we only see each other on weekends and live about 35 minutes away from one another.
- We used to see each other on Fridays, but she claimed that she didn’t want him on the roads late at night picking me up (he works till 9 pm). He then decided to stop seeing me on Fridays.
- She insists on tagging along on some of our dates.
- She is already taking control of our wedding plans by choosing the church, and demanding I change my religious denomination to her son’s denomination.
- She has stated many times that when we are married, she wants to live close by and visit every day.
- She says flirty comments towards her son from time to time — calling him handsome, “jokingly” asking if he loves her more than me.

Aside from this, she seems to like me as a person and has told me how happy and supportive she is of our relationship. I like his mom, I just find her a little too much sometimes, and it’s starting to affect our relationship.

My boyfriend tells me that his mom is in the wrong and needs to let go, but doesn’t always step up to her when he should.

Should I talk to him about this? If so, how do I bring it up without hurting anyone’s feelings?
My fiancé’s mom is too controlling. What do I do?
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