Is it wrong to invade partner's phone?

I know the lack of trust will kill in and of itself. But there are so many justifications popping up in my mind. This is so hard.

I know it's my own insecurity. There's no reason she should risk losing me. But I've learned people do unexpected and nonsensical things, too.
I want to trust her. But it's hard especially when she says stuff like, "I could cheat and you'd never know." I don't mind the idea of her cheating. I love her, but at the same time, I could do better. And easily. But see. She knows that, and I'm not sure I've reassured her enough.

Maybe this is codependence. My life. It's integrally tied to hers now. We have a future. But futures are so delicate and brittle.

I know her phone's password. She doesn't know. I saw it one time several months ago and just remembered. I haven't done it for that long. Can I really betray her like that? I don't want to. I don't. But... It's clear I don't trust her. And that's unfortunate. How can I trust her? How can I simply live without this anxiety of loss circling my head like a vulture?

Knowing that I will be okay whatever happens is one thing. But the idea of being *used* and *betrayed*. How does one endure that?
Is it wrong to invade partner's phone?
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