"How can someone like you not have a boyfriend/girlfriend", how would you reply this?

[CaptainOverthink]

Its easier to give advice from the outside than to follow it for yourself. Because when it comes to the self there's incredible bias for or against my own thoughts. And while looking out from my point of view onto others issues there's rationality, clarity and empathy, while inwardly emotions cloud the windows and tint or twist everything out of proportion.

Why?
Emotional trauma is a guess. Extensive habits of overthinking and analyzing never helped me either. But it's second nature and I am working on it.

And while 8 years of depression from a broken heart sure did leave it's marks and set the stage for other failures and a lacking self-esteem. Society's trends for punishing nervous talkers for seeming weird and creepy was really unecessary as shame have previously been enough to teach guys that we're going about it the wrong way, we could learn from it that way. Now, there's real life consequences of not having grown up fast enough. So I was chased away, involanterily paranoid about seeming too nervous if I ever liked someone enough to be interested enough to try to ger to know them. Anf that itself is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But I do take responsability for the way I am, I'm not a victim. I was dealt a bad hand and played my cards wrong at times. The shit that happened wasn't entierly my fault but I played a role in choosing easier roads and not pushing myself hard enough to change earlier. In choosing to let how society saw me affect me at the degree that it did. As I am self-concious and surely not stupid.. nothing that has happened or thst I have done is an excuse to give up on improving.

Why don't I have girlfriend?
I'm damaged in a way that makes flirtatious behavior trigger severe anxiety and sometimes panic-attacks or periods of anti-social behavior. It's a problem for sure, I am working to get some female friends to try and normalize the interaction, but scars are deep and.. if i do manage to be talkative then their seemingly peaked interests usually set off some alarms.

I'll be getting into dancing soon. Maybe that'll help.

[serious]

How would I reply?

Well, my reply would be:

" I know myself very well and having introspected on myself for the last 13 years I know that I am not a man who is suited for LOVE and relationships. I know for sure I am not meant for love or any sort of exclusive relationships because I am just too logical, too rational and my thinking and actions are very robotic. Yes, although any woman would be very happy to have a man like me in her life and I might have lots of excellent and admirable qualities but still I know that doesn't mean as a man I am the best suited for these things and last but not least, I never want to be in LOVE or any exclusive relationships by choice and out of my own FREE WILL.

I have always been a virgin, always been single and I wish to remain single till death."


Yes, that would be my reply to someone who asks me. I think this answers your question.

[LittleTurtleDuck]

If it is petty and I don't like the comment id give a snare remark along the lines of:
Do you (finaly) have a partner?
No I don't
Oh how come, you are so pretty/talented/nice/etc.
Yeah I know I have a lot to offer, 💁🏼‍♀️ but what do you have to offer besides stating the obvious?

When it is nice or actually my friend joking it would be more like:
Awh thank you, it must be my mental illness driving them away 😂
Or:
Yeah, I know, you taking applications for a date? 😘😂

[Cynicaldreamer]

I actually get told that a lot. Ironically, those same people that say that refuse to date me so I don't take them or their compliments seriously...

As to what I say in response, "Because I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve. So I'm with the only person that wants me: myself."

[aetherius]

Depends.
If someone says it in the middle of jokes i say: "coaches Don't play"

If someone (male) i know asks me that i say: "come on... you have known me long enough, you know why."

If someone (female): "well, you have known me long enough, so, tell me a list of things that are off putting and i Will see if my list matches, maybe i will learn something and improve myself enough to be satisfied with the result in order deserve love."

If someone i Don't know that much: "haven't really found the time yet, but one day love will hopefully come"

[Larson7]

They are hard to find aren't they. That's what I used to think when I was single. If there's anybody decent out there they're not going to be alone. Boy did I have a lot to learn. Now I don't know if I'll ever flip upside down over a person again. That's not to make people feel disenchanted. Has nothing to do with the situation probably more to do with that they individual. On Impossible anyway nobody would want to be with me. high maintenance to the fucking 25th degrees and I'm not very good at math well better than most. But I have been with the same woman for almost 15 years but I think she left about 7 years ago

[cth96190]

When I was younger than 30: because women are not interested me.
After I was 35: because women were not interested in me, so I stopped trying and walked away.
After I was 40: because women were not interested in me until after they had hit the wall. Now, I am not interested in them. Why should I be? They can go back to the knuckle-dragging bad boys who gave the girls the tingles when the girls were 20. They deserve each other.

[Everyoneisplastic]

I always reply the same way. Laugh and change the subject. People say this too often to me. Instead of going down some rabbit hole on the history of my life and loneliness and how It hurts inside to hear this question because everytime I hear it all I can think about is how miserable I am, thus spurring a late night session of internally crying and standing in the shower hiding the tears with the water running down my face.

[alexsa]

Well before my husband, I was asked a lot:why you single? How can someone like you doesn't have a boyfriend.. must be something wrong. Are you crazy? Bla bla..

My answer was:better single than in a bad company.

[jshm2]

Never had to, as nearly always had a girl.

But you could snap back "because I have friends like you instead, no guy/girl getting between us!" If they are a good friend

Else ""because I have weird people like you too close to me!"

[Makeushiver]

Well recognize first that it's a compliment- if not a well articulated compliment - it usually refers to a big positive, as beautful,, as fun, as cool etc. It implies some good feature of characteristic. Unfortunately it'soften followed by unsolicited advice

[Naked_Sanjay]

People can like without having girlfriend or boyfriend, it's just a magic attraction on some activities.. somebody seeing a cute smile and they started liking, some got amazing dance person they started liking, some watching good acting performer they started liking.. it's just a magic movement.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Its a compliment but the cost for getting it is that you have to justify your life to them

Depending on who it is an how irritated you are you can choose one of the following responses:

1. I only date married men
2. FCUK YOU !!
3. I haven't met the right girl yet
4. I was married but I had to kill him
5. I do have a husband/boyfriend, but he is in jail
6. I'm recently widowed but thanks for asking

[EmilyKissing]

Because everyone thinks about me as cute, shy and that sister type friend 😭

[rachel776]

say "introduce me to someone you think i would like"

they'll shut up

[HOAAH]

I am not ready for one... Or the right one hasn't come yet.

[FictionalCharacter]

And my answer will always be the same: I live in a rural area.

[Mishan97]

Tell them you being single is a choice. You don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend cause for whatever reason you don’t want one right now and you just haven’t met anyone worthy.

[MAC1983]

Very short answerv
Be flattered, pause, say "what do you mean?, Ignore unless the person wants to be your friend and/or lover, Act accordingly.

[DizzyDesii]

“Because i know what I want in life and most of them dont. And even if they do, its not the same thing i want or at least not at the same time i want it. So yea”

[ariadneR]

I hate when people say that. Especially family. The next line that comes after that, from my family is "so are you guys, cause you dont have a boyfriend?"

[Kaneki05]

i would take the complement and roll with it. Also may just randomly shout because potatos don't have gfs. then... they would probably understand why i don't have one.

[MCheetah]

"Women aren't into short, overweight, ugly, slightly insecure guys who talk too much. As a girl, you should know that, so stop lying to me."

[Blaine999]

I'd reply "When someone finds out that you are different from everyone else, that's all they see, they judge you at face value only and never take the chance to get to know them". Being different is a lonely life