Is there even a such thing as a healthy argument?

Question

One could admirably and respectfully agree to disagree. One might dispute or debate in depth
specifics on varying topics. But I just can’t view any form of unproductive bickering or quarreling
as healthy. Arguments are the doorways to angry fights and blatant disrespect when tempers
begin flaring and escalate to violence in some form. So I don’t view arguments as merely a verbal disagreement and they’re sure not good for the blood pressure or moral health.

Updates:

1 y

While the term and context usage of the word argument had a broader spectrum and perimeter, I did make it clear that we were discussing arguing in the sense of bickering, tempers flaring and the introduction of disrespect. While I have never denied there are basis for objective and positive arguments being made, I was very clear of the context in which this question used.

Answer 1

Ozanne | 377 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Assuming that the argument will somehow resolve something in the end because you're both airing your thoughts on something, it can be healthy as long as you don't call each other names or tell each other off, or say anything else ad hominem that has nothing to do with that the argument is really about.

Arguments that are unhealthy, of course are the ones that are created because someone enjoys arguing for sport, or if the argument leads to personal attacks and insults. These are easy to get out of hand when one person starts the insults, because naturally the other person winds up their own insult, and on it goes.

If two people can disagree and not let it affect their relationship or friendship, then it's a healthy argument. Often times they're necessary in order to grow together.

If at any time you sense the argument is not helping matters, there is nothing wrong with saying, "Okay, I don't want to argue with you anymore," and leave it for a while. Pace around the yard, go have a shower, or whatever, just take some time to breathe. If you can say to yourself that you still love that person (if it's a relationship), then it's not so bad.

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Answer 2

Yads_Is_Back

Guru

“any form of unproductive bickering or quarreling” , as you say, is obviously not healthy.
Some people are actually smart and knowledgeable enough to debate without talking round and round in circles, and it’s these people who are HEALTHY debaters because the other person learns a lot. I do love learning. Debating isn’t my favorite way to do it and I’d rather just take a class, but there’s a lot that classes don’t teach you that actually only comes with wisdom and a viewpoint.

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2 People

Answer 3

iFarted | 955 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Yeah, an argument where neither of them personally attacks another and states what they think is bother them or what they dislike. An argument that helps two individuals understand and/or learn from one another. Those usually lead to a better relationship.

I never believe in couples that say their relationship is GREAT, they never argue, ever..

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Answer 4

Searlas

Xper 6

Will depend on usage of the term. Where it refers to a heated and an angry exchange it can never be healthy. But, when it’s a reason given in support of an idea, it’s healthy, like in a court of law lawyers arguing giving out their arguments.

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1 Person

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

1 y
A legal argument is a format used by opposing council within the courts, not the same as in exchange of diverging opposites in heated moments. Husband, wives, friends or exes don’t engage in the format known as a legal argument. ☺️ But thanks for the share.
grapefruit11

1 y
He used legal arguments an an example. But arguments can be defined as “a reason given in support of an idea” outside of court, too. “Making an argument” is something you can do in an essay or just talking to a friend. Right now, I’m “making the argument” that the opinion owner knows what he’s talking about and made a valid point.
CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

1 y
I can respect his opinion but I think it's very clear that the term of arguments isn't one of mutuality to respectfully disagree to validate their particular view. We're talking arguing where things escalate and
tempers flare. Big difference versus giving a passionate argument on behalf of their view. This requires no disrespecting, yelling and cursing. When one refuses to hear or even acknowledge the other's view due to escalation of tempers
flaring.

Answer 5

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

A legal argument is a format used by opposing council within the courts, not the same as in exchange of diverging opposites in heated moments. Husband, wives, friends or exes don’t engage in the format known as a legal argument. ☺️ But thanks for the share.

Answer 6

grapefruit11

He used legal arguments an an example. But arguments can be defined as “a reason given in support of an idea” outside of court, too. “Making an argument” is something you can do in an essay or just talking to a friend. Right now, I’m “making the argument” that the opinion owner knows what he’s talking about and made a valid point.

Answer 7

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

I can respect his opinion but I think it's very clear that the term of arguments isn't one of mutuality to respectfully disagree to validate their particular view. We're talking arguing where things escalate and
tempers flare. Big difference versus giving a passionate argument on behalf of their view. This requires no disrespecting, yelling and cursing. When one refuses to hear or even acknowledge the other's view due to escalation of tempers
flaring.

Answer 8

CurLyF | 106 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

I believe debating in a respectful manner is a very productive way to learn more about a topic and master the skill of defending your point in a polite way. Both participants (or more) need to have emotional intelligence (be assertives and empathics) for it to work. Sadly, people believe that defending your point of view means coming up with insults and trying to denigrate the other person. That's not true, it may be hard to find someone you can have a mature debate with, but it's rewarding because you can help people learn from you and viceversa.

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1 Person

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

1 y
While I agree with debating having a respectful and opposing dialogue, we’ve very recently watched such a setting transformed by rudeness and anger when Trump talked over both the debate moderator and his opponent in Biden. Arguments solve nothing and nothing ever gets heard except volume.
CurLyF

1 y
Oh man I was talking about people with emotional intelligence, why you go and metion Trump? lol xD We all know he is incapable of that. I agree, arguments lead no nothing, but debating does and can be very beneficial. It's important to teach children how to behave properly in a debate early on.
CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

1 y
I concur, I’m for respectful and healthy debates.

Answer 9

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

While I agree with debating having a respectful and opposing dialogue, we’ve very recently watched such a setting transformed by rudeness and anger when Trump talked over both the debate moderator and his opponent in Biden. Arguments solve nothing and nothing ever gets heard except volume.

Answer 10

CurLyF

Oh man I was talking about people with emotional intelligence, why you go and metion Trump? lol xD We all know he is incapable of that. I agree, arguments lead no nothing, but debating does and can be very beneficial. It's important to teach children how to behave properly in a debate early on.

Answer 11

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

I concur, I’m for respectful and healthy debates.

Answer 12

Anonymous

In my last relationship he never argued. His go to response was to just walk away whenever he felt any anger coming from my end. It led me to feel unheard and like I had to walk on eggshells around him so he wouldn’t just abandon me when I wanted to talk about something that bothered me. I decided to take the approach of non threatening disagreements. Whenever I would feel upset by something he did I would (as calmly as possible) tell him in a non accusatory fashion that it was upsetting. He still didn’t listen most of the time. I realized I would rather he just listen so that issues could be resolved or even tell his side of the story rather than totally block me out

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Answer 13

triff | 277 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

A so called Healthy Argument does exsist How it got to be so named The argument comes about most commonly where things are cold with annoying habits Money etc causes so much tension which results in an argument but clears the air

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Answer 14

Aiko_E_Lara | 884 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

If it is really nothing personal and you discuss with each other maturely and respecting each other then yes that is a healthy "argument" but at that point, it wouldn't be considered an argument anymore but more of a discussion and debate.

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Answer 15

Quackthulu

Guru

Absolutely, and that’s how you know someone is worth keeping in your life. When you can disagree with each other but still respect each other.

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1 Person

Answer 16

Little_Bumblebee | 355 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

There is and I think it's very good for you to have discussions with someone who doesn't just agree with everything you say.

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1 Person

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

1 y
Nothing wrong with disagreeing but is there not a difference between respectful discussions on opposing views in a calm and respectful manner, versus yelling and arguing back and forth where nothing gets heard or solved?
Little_Bumblebee

1 y
So you mean an argument where you yell and fight? No, those types doesn't sound healthy.
CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

1 y
Yes mam, arguments are not mere debates or disagreements, they’re rooted in selfishness and disrespect.

Answer 17

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

Nothing wrong with disagreeing but is there not a difference between respectful discussions on opposing views in a calm and respectful manner, versus yelling and arguing back and forth where nothing gets heard or solved?

Answer 18

Little_Bumblebee

So you mean an argument where you yell and fight? No, those types doesn't sound healthy.

Answer 19

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

Yes mam, arguments are not mere debates or disagreements, they’re rooted in selfishness and disrespect.

Answer 20

Avicenna | 5.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Yes, it’s possible. It’s called a discussion.

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1 Person

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

1 y
Okay barbarian, discussions are level headed dialogue, not yelling obscenities at the top of your voice. 🤣

Answer 21

CYNICAL_CRYPTIC

Okay barbarian, discussions are level headed dialogue, not yelling obscenities at the top of your voice. 🤣

Answer 22

Joker_ | 822 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Yeah

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Is there even a such thing as a healthy argument?

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