Would you reconsider your friendship if your friend cheated on his/her partner?

[Puppystarfish23]

Yes as terrible as it sounds i had a very close work "friend" and she was a notorious cheat. She even cheated on her last boyfriend with another co worker at are the Christmas party. I had to keep it secret for her and i still have to this day. Doesn't mean i didn't lose respect for her and judge her. I just kept what i thought too myself because it was none of my business and i never asked to be involved.

If anything i felt sorry for her. obviously there was deeper issues with her to be constantly sleeping around and cheating but at the same time i could no longer take her seriously or trust her loyalty.

I didn't agree with her values on relationships to begin with, she was a raving feminists, leftist and was one of those girls who was extremely jealous and insecure deep down so slept around to feel accepted by men and acted like she was super smart too when she was actually really stupid when it came to basic logic.

In the end i only hug around with her because she was rich and she'd buy me food and give me lifts home to make herself feel better about all the bad things she'd do. I didn't feel bad about using her as that was exactly what she did to other men. She just treated them like meat so i treated her like a uber

[Ozanne]

I don't think I have a lot of cheater friends, but then again, how might I know if they don't tell me? The way I see it, what happens in their relationship is between them and their partner. If my friend is going through some trouble and doesn't know what to do in their relationship, I might be someone they call to ask advice. If they say they feel like 'exploring', I'd be the one to say no - don't do it, or suggest they end their relationship, or find out what makes them so unhappy with their current partner to want to do that.

Either way, the friendship they have with me is separate, and I'm usually the one on the other end getting information about what makes them happy and unhappy in their lives.

By and large, I don't become or stay friends with disrespectful people who are cheating for sport, and constantly let their partners down. But the very few times I've been friends with someone who's cheated once and it ripped them up inside, I didn't end the friendship over it, no.

[TruthBringer]

🙋‍♂️ I've had a best friend who had cheated. A cheater has no integrity as an individual. And this lack of integrity can harm your friendship. Let me explain:

So my former best friend cheated on his LDR girlfriend. I gave him a lecture of a lifetime. Even though his girlfriend was a cocktease, a walking red flag and undeserving of his time and attention. Still, was no excuse for him to cheat. Whenever he travels to her, she always escalates and pulls back right before they had sex. So they never actually did have sex. Even though she has every right to do so, she was leading him on on purpose. She when he got back home, he cheated by having sex by paying a prostitute.

So, they broke up and I'm with a best friend who cheated. And here is what affected our friendship. It's not that he cheated on his girlfriend that lead to the doom of our friendship. It was lack of respect, lack of empathy and Godawful selfishness on his end. Him cheating on his girlfriend was the act that shows poor character, lack of impulse control and lack of integrity on his end.

So any dude who I'm getting to know and I find out they have had cheated, I keep a healthy distance between the two of us and will always be vigilant.

[Citizenkirk]

No, I've been in that situation, him unfaithful or not engaged emotionally with his wife, her resentful that he spent more time drinking with me than he did with his family.
I made it clear I wasn't going too navigate that emotional family minefield any longer, dragging his as too the florists, picking up groceries for her too make a nice meal, him helping her, me confiscating the beer until he put a genuine smile of happiness on his wife and little daughter's faces, me guaranteeing that if his wife didn't kick his as otherwise, I would, while declaring my couch off limits too him if he didn't make things right at home.

[pervertedjester]

Absolutely! Cause if I know about it than you know I'm getting dragged into the drama later. And I've told friends before when the topic comes up that "I will not be your alibi." If you drop my name to cover your ass I will do everything I can to make you look like even more of a piece of shit. (I'm very good at fanning the flames.) So best of luck friends.

[CurlyGirl42]

I had two good friends who have cheated on their partner. They are still my friends even though we had argued about it, since I do not hide how I feel about cheating. If it was going on for long, in a very cruel/deceiving way, I am not sure I could stay friends..
In neither case I have been good friends with their partner, and this would be another dilemma. One of my friends was always talking about how she wanted kids and a family with her boyfriend, and I could not get how she said that while she was having an affair. I really felt like I could not go to their wedding if that was going to happen one day. I feel sure I could not do it if the cheating was still happening.

[Browneye57]

No. Their relationship has nothing to do with me.
But it does demonstrate unreliability, so it's something to consider about their character. Figure if they're that good at lying they'll eventually lie to you as well.

In fact, that's pretty much a given when judging people's character - whatever they do to others, figure they'll do the same to you. How do they treat service people? Strangers? How do they react in adversity? Do they lie to other people?
Whatever they do, figure it will eventually be done to you as well. You can count on it.

[Anonymous]

I would love to say no and say I could overlook it but I would definitely then start to reconsider the friendship. How could I be friends with someone who does that? I do believe in forgiveness and giving people a second chance (which if they stuff up then it’s done) but I also don’t think I could be friends with someone who is like that as I’m not person like that. People would then question you and your morals and values!
In general I tend to not hang around people that do things I don’t like because it makes the friendship more complicated and involves the pother person lying all the time.
I’ve been in a situation similar to this and eh I can say you should just back out and leave

[Kiss_Me]

Absolutely.

I always try to be a person of Honor... a person of good character. It is important to surround myself with like-minded people. When a so-called friend cheats on their partner, it places me in a catch 22. On one hand, I have to betray the victim by keeping my mouth shut. On the other hand, I have to betray a friend by spilling the beans. A quality person... someone I would want to have as a friend, would not put me in that situation. In fact, they would not put themselves in that situation.

Losing friends sucks, but ridding myself of toxic people is sometimes required.

[BeeNee]

My moral code would be in serious flux especially given I've had the same tight circle of friends since high school and many are now married or have dated each other. I guess it would just be extremely hard to imagine that scenario because my friends are really upstanding people, but assuming one did go astray, I would want them to come clean to their partner and I would never hide their behavior or pretend I didn't know about it. Admittedly I don't think our friendship could ever be the same just knowing they'd willingly hurt someone we've known as long like that, but if they were truly remorseful about it, and tried to make things as right as one could in that horrible situation, I'd consider whether or not to continue on as friends.

[Anonymous]

I have a long time female friend who is dating a married man (who has a kid) for the last 1.5 years. She says she has no excuses for it (and she doesn’t) but she is “in love with him”.

Its just sad. I’ve known this girl for 15 years and she seemed like one of the very few who had better judgment. But she doesn’t.

I just told her it’s not going to end well. If this guy is willing to do this to his wife then it shows what kind of person he really is. When it’s over she’s going to have to own to what she did. She’s not a “victim” in way shape or form in this. No one is going to feel sympathy for her after this ends badly (nor should they).

I’m not saying this to trash her. She’s my friend. But I’m more disgusted with female dating decisions in general. If I was dating a married woman who had a kid I would be the scumbags of scumbags. Men can’t nor ever will be able to say “their feelings” justify their actions.

[Not_Average]

Most likely. It’s indicative of a character defect on the individual. If you’re 16, and you cheated... okay. If you were drunk in your freshman year of college and kissed someone else... okay. If you’re creating an ongoing relationship behind your partners back, then you’ve proven to be extremely deceiving and possess a lack of empathy. Your moral character is just garbage. Those are the not the kinds of people I want to be around. Those kinds of friends will stab you in the back and might even try to fuck your partner.

[spartan55]

Cheating is appalling to me for many different reasons, and something I feel very strongly about. Not sure where my feelings came from because I've only been cheated on once when I was 19, and I was over that quickly.
So, to answer question, I would end my friendship with anyone who I knew to be a cheater.

[Paolaa988]

Absolutely. It's a red flag if their making poor choices/actions toward their partner so what makes me think they wouldn't wrong me in some way eventually? Id question and have my doubts and possibly cut them off and it may sound shitty to some people but their character and intentions doesn't sound good if their cheating and lying to their partner which can also raise eyebrows on my end. Can you blame me for their poor choices and lack of respect then? No.

[MrOracle]

It would depend on the situation and their attitude about it. If they genuinely messed up and were apologetic about it, then fine, but if they did it intentionally and had no remorse about it, I would not have much motivation to keep them as a friend, and maybe not even as an acquaintance.

[triff]

This question is quite a delema It all boils down to how strong your friendship is A best friend should be a stronger bond than this Of course only you know that If my best friend cheated on his partner I would feel in an awkward situation but they probably confided in me as they have no one else they could trust I would encourage them to end one or the other relationship Perhaps also tell his partner before it comes out

[Unit1]

Very likely but i will hear them out before making a judgment.
If they were abused or sexually starved, then I might give them a pass.
If it was however done more of an impulsive nature or for the opportunity or for the thrill, I'd call it quits.

[FriendlyEnigma]

Potentially. I have no tolerance for cheating, but if my friend was in a bad relationship (toxic, abusive, etc.), i will DEFINITELY yell at them for doing something as terrible as cheating. It's horrible and they shouldn't feel good about that. But if they were stuck in a bad situation, i woudl still stand by them as a friend. But it they cheated on a partner who clearly cared for them without any toxic traits, i would cut them off without a second thought

[Chris786]

Well it depends on his partner?
If she's a sweet person that was loyal to him I might even consider his infidelity as a green light for me to try to steal her from him.
If she was an unfaithful person then I wouldn't care that he cheated.

[Dinklex3]

Nope.
That's my bestie and I base our relationship on how she treats me and how well our energies click.
My old best friend had super low self esteem and would always cheat on her bfs and would always suffer the consequences that came with it. She never complained though because she knew she did it to herself.
I only talk to her like twice a year now, but I still absolutely adore her.

[JoJoiLL]

The reason for cheating is seldom black and white, it's complex and the cheater deserves love and support from their friends too. Don't just abandon some one because they made a mistake. That's not how love or friendship works.

[WesBrewer]

yes, If my friend or best friend cheated on his girlfriend I would beat him up at least give him a good licking, I would hate it, and I wouldn't want to be friends with them anymore.

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

Absolutely, 🤔 hmmm?
If they can betray the person they vowed to love,
then wtf do you think they’ll do behind your back
if your partner is willing. 🐍🐍snakes

[pleasestopthis]

It would suck if your friends leave you anytime you make a mistake, don't you think?
I'd certainly be pissed and would not turn a blind eye but I wouldn't leave, unless they're super cynical and unapologetic about it.

[thimmslicc]

It's none of my business.
So no.
Once it involves me,, then it becomes my business.
Do you boo boo

[Alyssa11]

My friend plays around with a lot of guys emotions. I haven't told her but it makes me weary of being too close to her myself...

[Jenom]

No it doesn't. My best mate cheated on his ex. It's not my business and doesn't affect our friendship.

[Cataphract]

It does make the person in question stop being my best friend, but that does not have to mean we'd stop being friends completely.

[joeldalton]

I had a situation come up the end of summer where two couples who were both friends with me had one partner having an affair with one of the other partners. It caused a shit show, but ultimately I decided to retain the friendship with both couples.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

It makes me question them as a person, but they have to live their life, so I say my piece and go from there

[MecheD]

Only if there weren’t a heads up in regards to my need to be involved leaving me clueless to the situation

[SphynxUK]

I do actually reconsider it. Especially if there’s no apparent reason for it. I’d feel let down by them, even though it’s not my relationship.

[SCDivinitySoul]

Really depends on why he or she did cheated, tho majority of the girls I know did ended up cheating or had second thoughts when I first met them actually.

[Methis]

Yep. I look at actions and character when it comes to friends and if there actions or character shows they aren't a decent person (especially when it comes l to how they treat women) then I take action.

[MikeTheBartender]

I really wish these questions were in poll form a lot. Much easier than to read 100 answers.

[iseekpinetrees]

No. Lol then I get to hear about drama. Drama is interesting when it has nothing to do with me.

[Liya0078]

Not really. How people handle friendships and romantic relationships is different. Also depends on the circumstance.

[Mollynotgemma]

Not at all. Each to their own. A friend stays a friend through thick and thin

[Hangry22]

Yeah. But i only have good company so that's never gonna happen

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yes.

Cheaters are untrustworthy. That applies in romantic relationships and friendships.

[red324]

No. What my friend does with their significant other isn't really any of my business. I don't give my 2 cents unless they ask my opinion.

[EssenceOfLight]

I would reconsider if this person is 100% trustful.
Who cheats on their partner will betray a friend without any remorse.

[AFellowWeeb]

we would still be friends, but i wouldn't praise him for it, and i would be suspicious, bc if he could lie to his own so, than he would have no problem lying to me

[Brendan824]

I would definitely have them sit down and have a conversation about it cause that can fuck people up for life I may even tell my friend partner cause I can't just not have them be lied to

[prince350]

Back in the day I made a mistake of even considering how to cover up for them, and certainly not getting upset.
The a-class a-hole then cheated on me with my wife

[AdithyaR]

Absolutely, not just reconsider, I'd cut them off as well. I refuse to stay friends with someone who chose to hurt their partner and break their trust by cheating. It's something I consider absolutely unforgivable.

[SparklyRoses]

It depends on how close you are to your friend and how well you know your friend. If I was close her then I would talk to her about it.

[Ilittles]

You should call them out on it and tell them it's dishonest. Especially if their partner is innocent and pure

[locutus9999]

yes... it's important to be on the same page in important stuff with your friends, the rest hopefully differ, so is a funny friendship.

[JakeS00]

Nope unless somehow, unlikely, affiliated with me then no.

[EyesOfGod]

Thats a them problem not an Us problem so i wouldn't care to much.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't reconsider my friendship with them because their actions are entirely their own and noone else's!

[admles]

Yeah, I can't be friends with someone like that.

They deliberately made a bad choice.

[Silver158]

If all their lies and bullshit spill over into our friendship then yes.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. That would make me a pretty crappy friend.

[Fwb4u]

Nope still my friend I'm not here to judge so its whatever 🤷

[HedwigInABox]

Yes. I'd even ask them to come clean or I'll tell their partner.

[RebeccaBecca95]

I stop being friends not when she cheated but she cheated and got pregnant that when I said something.

[jinsbigcrunchytoe]

nope. thats my bestie

[laceyylove23]

i'd consider if i can trust them

[hahahmm]

Only if his partner is a friend also.

[Anonymous]

If I did that, i wouldn't have really been his friend in the first place.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. I would not be friends with him anymore.

[SavageGirl101]

I’d drop them cause that shit isn’t cool