My boyfriend and I have different opinions on the boundaries of our relationship and never seem to agree, should we end it?

Question

Answer 1

caring__1 | 283 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Without mutual consideration and respect, you'll never have a healthy relationship. Though it's easy to negatively judge your boyfriend, as a result of your description, always look at your role in the situation, also. Could he be stubbornly pushing his agenda onto you as a result of feeling you stubbornly pushing your agenda onto him? Obviously, two wrongs don't make a right, but you want to understand how you might be fueling the conflict. By eliminating the fuel you bring to the situation, he won't be able to blame you for his actions. It will also give you a clearer picture of the real situation. If you're not pushing back, and he continues to focus more on what he wants than how it might impact you, then strongly question your reasons to stay. People who don't consider how their choice of words and actions impact others will never make healthy partners. Couples counseling can be helpful to resolve a power struggle, but when one person continues to control without any pushback from the other, that person is unlikely to be open to seeing the bigger picture if pointed out by a neutral third party. Unrespected boundaries don't exist in a quality partnership.

Answer 2

WesBrewer | 311 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

If you are able to not argue over them and can keep to what each other say then stay together, if you can't follow each others rules then end it.

Asker

1 mo
He doesn’t listen to what I have to say and thinks he’s right all the time. There is no compromise with him it’s his way or no way. Says I over react about stuff and thinks he can just do what he wants and I’ve to just accept it.
Jacqp

1 mo
Sorry hun... but from what your saying he sounds like a narsasstic control freak. And without counselling that can't get better.
Can usually get worse. How long you been together. Have you tried suggesting couples counselling
WesBrewer

1 mo
^ she is right
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Asker

1 mo
Been together just under a year, everything moved a bit quick with lockdown so we ended up living together until a few months ago. Have had a few ups and downs mainly about his contact with female friends and his ex his boundaries are basically not same as mine on this matter and he undermines me and says I’m crazy when I have a problem with it. Don’t think he’s ever cheated and that’s not the issue but he never takes my feelings into consideration when I feel upset or uncomfortable about any situation. Think he feels like I’m trying to say what he can and can’t do when that’s totally not the case would just like him to show a bit of respect towards me in it all
WesBrewer

1 mo
He still sounds hopeless if he won't take your feelings into account.
Asker

1 mo
I know in myself that’s it’s not going to work, it’s been a bit on off for past few months and always comes back to me apologising for feeling the way I do about certain stuff which makes him think that he’s doing nothing wrong and I’m the one with the problem 😫
WesBrewer

1 mo
I think you should end it, but whatever you do I hope you come out on top, here is a hug to help you feel better maybe <(^_^<), I wish you good luck.
Asker

1 mo
Thanks 😊
WesBrewer

1 mo
anytime!

Answer 3

Asker

He doesn’t listen to what I have to say and thinks he’s right all the time. There is no compromise with him it’s his way or no way. Says I over react about stuff and thinks he can just do what he wants and I’ve to just accept it.

Answer 4

Jacqp

Sorry hun... but from what your saying he sounds like a narsasstic control freak. And without counselling that can't get better.
Can usually get worse. How long you been together. Have you tried suggesting couples counselling

Answer 5

WesBrewer

^ she is right

Answer 6

Asker

Been together just under a year, everything moved a bit quick with lockdown so we ended up living together until a few months ago. Have had a few ups and downs mainly about his contact with female friends and his ex his boundaries are basically not same as mine on this matter and he undermines me and says I’m crazy when I have a problem with it. Don’t think he’s ever cheated and that’s not the issue but he never takes my feelings into consideration when I feel upset or uncomfortable about any situation. Think he feels like I’m trying to say what he can and can’t do when that’s totally not the case would just like him to show a bit of respect towards me in it all

Answer 7

WesBrewer

He still sounds hopeless if he won't take your feelings into account.

Answer 8

Asker

I know in myself that’s it’s not going to work, it’s been a bit on off for past few months and always comes back to me apologising for feeling the way I do about certain stuff which makes him think that he’s doing nothing wrong and I’m the one with the problem 😫

Answer 9

WesBrewer

I think you should end it, but whatever you do I hope you come out on top, here is a hug to help you feel better maybe <(^_^<), I wish you good luck.

Answer 10

Asker

Thanks 😊

Answer 11

WesBrewer

anytime!

Answer 12

Jacqp

Xper 5

Depends on what your boundary issues are about. Most times id say.. pick your battles and let some stuff go. But don't give up your morals if it something heavy... like cheating or murder lol

Jacqp

1 mo
I am not a huge fan of anal... lol don't look forward to it. But he loves it. So I give it to him at least once a month. But he rewards me greatly during. Stimulates other areas enough that I don't focus on it. So it's a 50/50... That's an example
Asker

1 mo
😂😂😂 thanks for the tips 😂😂😂
Asker

1 mo
No problem with our sex life infact probably the best part haha. We have loads in common and get in great but when it comes to boundaries about respecting each other’s feelings he thinks he can please himself, do what he wants basically everything on his terms
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Jacqp

1 mo
Oh well that's no good. I'd let him know that when you are part of a team that he needs to be able to value and appreciate your feelings as well. Being in a relationship means compromising and learning to do things you may not want to do
Or NOT always say how you feel. Lol
If you can't bend on topics, that neither side agrees on we'll then you will not make it very long sorry to say.
Jacqp

1 mo
Lol glad you enjoyed my example... im a shock value kinda girl.
Asker

1 mo
Yeah it’s like he still thinks of himself as a single guy... not in the way as trying to be with other women or cheating but just doing as he pleases and whatever makes him happy is what he’s gonna do. Feels like I’ve went from being his top priority to now he will pick and chose when he can fit me in amongst other stuff... he’s more distant emotionally unless he feels like it and would rather speak to his friends both male and female other than me these days
Jacqp

1 mo
That's someone who has already ended the relationship. im sorry sweetheart but he isn't there anymore. End the relationship with dignity. Xo

Answer 13

Jacqp

I am not a huge fan of anal... lol don't look forward to it. But he loves it. So I give it to him at least once a month. But he rewards me greatly during. Stimulates other areas enough that I don't focus on it. So it's a 50/50... That's an example

Answer 14

Asker

😂😂😂 thanks for the tips 😂😂😂

Answer 15

Asker

No problem with our sex life infact probably the best part haha. We have loads in common and get in great but when it comes to boundaries about respecting each other’s feelings he thinks he can please himself, do what he wants basically everything on his terms

Answer 16

Jacqp

Oh well that's no good. I'd let him know that when you are part of a team that he needs to be able to value and appreciate your feelings as well. Being in a relationship means compromising and learning to do things you may not want to do
Or NOT always say how you feel. Lol
If you can't bend on topics, that neither side agrees on we'll then you will not make it very long sorry to say.

Answer 17

Jacqp

Lol glad you enjoyed my example... im a shock value kinda girl.

Answer 18

Asker

Yeah it’s like he still thinks of himself as a single guy... not in the way as trying to be with other women or cheating but just doing as he pleases and whatever makes him happy is what he’s gonna do. Feels like I’ve went from being his top priority to now he will pick and chose when he can fit me in amongst other stuff... he’s more distant emotionally unless he feels like it and would rather speak to his friends both male and female other than me these days

Answer 19

Jacqp

That's someone who has already ended the relationship. im sorry sweetheart but he isn't there anymore. End the relationship with dignity. Xo

Answer 20

madgoat | 1.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

You don't give examples but it sounds stressful. You'll have to decide if the stress is worth it.

Answer 21

RohitLakra | 208 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

Yes. It seems fair to end the relationship.

Answer 22

In_Trance | 1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Yes..

My boyfriend and I have different opinions on the boundaries of our relationship and never seem to agree, should we end it?

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