This 4-month relationship started with me initiating texts. Initiating hangouts. I initiated the first kiss and about every one since then, and when we were about to have sex for the first time I thought the mood was great until I asked if she was ready and she just looked blank and said "I don't care, if you want to it's fine". I helped her from a life-threatening situation (she got sucked out into the ocean while incredibly drunk and I had to bring her back to shore because she was struggling to keep her head up), and even though I asked her not to swim beforehand and RE-explained the stupidity of swimming in the ocean while drunk, she said that it didn't matter and that I was making a bigger deal out of it than it was. Every time I ask to hang out or try to discuss plans all I get is an "I don't care" or a "It doesn't matter". I know she's dealt with depression for her entire life, we both have. I've tried so hard to be supportive for her, but in my times of need she is rarely there. I've gotten drunk and smoked so much more since this relationship started and I'm beginning to think it's to escape the stress and emotional turmoil it causes me. I am an overthinker, and to be honest, kind of a bitch. I know I'm not the biggest catch but I feel that I do deserve someone who is actually willing to reciprocate the time and emotional energy I offer. How could I discuss this with her without being accusatory and making her defensive, and how could I gain her interest in a way that doesn't seem like ghosting or trying too hard?