Should you make excuses for people or be with someone who always has an excuse?

So I'm in a long distance thing with someone. I really like them and the distance is a bit of an inconvenience but I was okay with it.

However this person, I feel, always has an excuse. I am usually the one who goes to see him, and plans things. And there hasn't been a time where he actually stuck to the whole plan. It's always either work, or family, which I always understand. But I am only able to see him once every three months, sometimes once a month but hardly.

Recently he told me he doesn't like to plan things because he forgets or something. But he has been able to plan trips with friends or family. He also invited me on a trip, kinda, but when I said yes he sorta rescinded the invite due to jealousy, two of the other people kinda like each of us. I understood this, and want him to have a good time so it didn't bother me at first.

He told me that he wouldn't call me up, just because he took time off and tell me to come. I always give at least 3 weeks notice when I'm going to be able to see him and ask if he could get the days off. I never thought about it but now I feel bad that I didn't take into consideration that he may not want or be able to do that. I wouldn't be mad if he couldn't though. He just never says he can't, just says he's bad at plans. I have tried surprising him, or just telling him when I'm in the area, but when I've done that we haven't seen eachother, or only for a dinner.

My friends say he makes too many excuses, and that I make too many excuses for him, and that I'm too understanding and trusting. They tell me that it shouldn't be a big deal for him to get one weekend off even once a month.

I don't know at this point. I was okay with nothing super serious and just seeing each other every few months, but if we never see each other, I think that'd be too hard. He says that he didn't say he didn't want to see me, and always asks when I'm going, but I don't know its starting to feel like he doesn't care if he sees me or not.
Should you make excuses for people or be with someone who always has an excuse?
Add Opinion