Is there a way to rekindle the relationship between my boyfriend's mom and me (read description because I am at fault)?

Question

The first mistake I made was we would do it a lot at his house while his family was inside. She might've known or suspected this so she one day unlocked his door quietly and came in to see me on top of him. We weren't having sex but i only had underwear on. I was in the wrong. She said that I had no manners because his whole family was there and I agreed with her and apologized.
The second thing was her part to get back at me or something. She didn't let me go in the house when Covid started happening. I thought it was fine but she let my boyfriends older brother take his girlfriend and she is white. I am Asian and my boyfriend is also white. I felt like she was being racist to me and my boyfriend agreed with me on that. He said it was wrong that she let his brother take his girlfriend to dinners but not me anymore.

Now she lets me in and I say "Hi, how are you?"
She says "fine." Doesn't even make eye contact with me. So I feel bad. I be really nice to her and she still won't like me no matter what I do.

Answer 1

Anonymous

Maybe tell her something like: I don't expect you to like me. Many boyfriend's/husband's mothers don't like whom their son is dating/has married. Some mothers (and fathers) feel that no one could ever be good enough for their son or daughter. But because your son loves me, I hope that we can at least be civil to each other, respect each other - for his sake if nothing else."

Then if his mother seems to dislike you personally (and likes other girlfriends he's had), maybe just expect her to not like you and just try to avoid her whenever possible - even to the point of having two family celebrations each holiday. Spend one with your family and another with just your boyfriend (and avoid his family aka his mother completely). There are some people that no matter how hard we try to get along with them, they just won't meet us half way.

Answer 2

Luckycharms12 | 107 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Seem like she will never like you. She should never come in to the room if she was my mom and get pissed and tell her off

Answer 3

Anonymous

Did she act like her son had made a mistake/that HE had no manners? If not, then she's picking on you personally.

The door was locked. She had no right to unlock it. She could have just knocked on the door.

Asker

15 d
She got mad at both of us. I hid underneath the blanket and she yanked it off of me and I said I was sorry and she told me that

Answer 4

Asker

She got mad at both of us. I hid underneath the blanket and she yanked it off of me and I said I was sorry and she told me that

Answer 5

Anonymous

You're not at fault here. If you and your boyfriend are both adults his mom has absolutely no right to snoop on you. She needs to apologize to both of you, not the other way around.

Answer 6

Walamagicc | 75 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

Just don’t fuck in her house anymore

Asker

14 d
We stopped doing that. She is still mean to me.
Walamagicc

14 d
Well, she probably doesn’t like you because she feels you disrespected by you. You have 2 options, you can talk to her or just stop talking to your boyfriend and start over with someone else
Asker

14 d
I would never leave my boyfriend. We already turned two years
Show All Show Less
Walamagicc

14 d
Omg, okay you have been together for 2 years? So what? Time doesn’t mean anything.
Walamagicc

14 d
If you still want to be with your boyfriend, just stop going to his parent’s house. They clearly don’t respect you.
Asker

14 d
Are you serious? You really think I should leave just because his mom doesn't like me? You have no idea how good our relationship is. I actually cried when that happened when I wasn't allowed because of Covid and it made our relationship stronger. Also my boyfriends dad and everyone else likes me. It's only his mom
Walamagicc

14 d
Well it seems to bother you so much that you have to ask this question.. so take it as you want or simply ignore her
Walamagicc

14 d
Her** don’t let her ruin what you have

Answer 7

Asker

We stopped doing that. She is still mean to me.

Answer 8

Walamagicc

Well, she probably doesn’t like you because she feels you disrespected by you. You have 2 options, you can talk to her or just stop talking to your boyfriend and start over with someone else

Answer 9

Asker

I would never leave my boyfriend. We already turned two years

Answer 10

Walamagicc

Omg, okay you have been together for 2 years? So what? Time doesn’t mean anything.

Answer 11

Walamagicc

If you still want to be with your boyfriend, just stop going to his parent’s house. They clearly don’t respect you.

Answer 12

Asker

Are you serious? You really think I should leave just because his mom doesn't like me? You have no idea how good our relationship is. I actually cried when that happened when I wasn't allowed because of Covid and it made our relationship stronger. Also my boyfriends dad and everyone else likes me. It's only his mom

Answer 13

Walamagicc

Well it seems to bother you so much that you have to ask this question.. so take it as you want or simply ignore her

Answer 14

Walamagicc

Her** don’t let her ruin what you have

Is there a way to rekindle the relationship between my boyfriend's mom and me (read description because I am at fault)?

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