Ever had to deal with being the other woman?

Question

He and I broke off beginning of last year but he kept trying for us to get back together. Situations happened and he let me down. In April last year, So in a fit of rage I made the final decision to cut him off once and for all, when he text again in June.
Anyways his "girlfriend" has decided to contact me for some reason. Calling and what'sapping, I ignored them, then she sent an email...
Telling me she's his girlfriend and wants to talk if I'm open to that.
I've ignored it.
I feel like this might be him taunting me as it's my birthday.
Either way ever dealt with something like this?

Answer 1

Anonymous

I’ve been the other woman. I didn’t know that. One evening, when we were together some girl kept texting him the whole night. And I realised that friend don’t usually do that. I asked him about it and he said it’s no one important. So I did background check. And realised that I’m the other woman. I cut it off immediately and blocked him from everywhere. I think you should do the same.

Asker

6 d
He's been blocked. It's hurtful isn't it when you find out like that. I didn't have confirmation before. I suspected, but since he wasn't really caring and loving like a boyfriend should I decided that I had had enough. This has just given me more reason to stay away. I'm curious. But I don't actually want drama and just panicking over what I should do is enough as it is tbh.
Opinion Owner

6 d
It is hurtful. But it will make you stronger. It’s just another life lesson. Try not to think about him, he isn’t worth it. I know it’s hard, but keeping him out of your life is better for you.

Answer 2

Asker

He's been blocked. It's hurtful isn't it when you find out like that. I didn't have confirmation before. I suspected, but since he wasn't really caring and loving like a boyfriend should I decided that I had had enough. This has just given me more reason to stay away. I'm curious. But I don't actually want drama and just panicking over what I should do is enough as it is tbh.

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

It is hurtful. But it will make you stronger. It’s just another life lesson. Try not to think about him, he isn’t worth it. I know it’s hard, but keeping him out of your life is better for you.

Answer 4

Cherokeehp | 819 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Once when I was a teenager. He was my ex boyfriend. His girlfriend approached me in person rather than calling or emailing. I handed her my phone and let her scroll through my text messages. I thought she was going to throw my phone at the fucking wall. She actually just said thank you and walked away. I’m sure she hates my fucking guts though.

Answer 5

OlderAndWiser | 5.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Influencer

If you want to move forward with your life, why do you allow him to contact you? Why haven't you blocked him on your phone and all social media?

Asker

6 d
I didn't expect him to contact me simply because we broke up. We then went into lockdown when he text the last time I kind of didn't even get annoyed I just kind of felt like oh this is a pleasant surprise but then the conversation between us went sour fairly quickly so I just told him to get lost. This number that is contacting me is not his number I don't know who it is.
Asker

6 d
And I did block him after the final exchange
OlderAndWiser

6 d
Okay. Just continue to block whoever contacts you and don't get engaged in any exchange with them.

Answer 6

Asker

I didn't expect him to contact me simply because we broke up. We then went into lockdown when he text the last time I kind of didn't even get annoyed I just kind of felt like oh this is a pleasant surprise but then the conversation between us went sour fairly quickly so I just told him to get lost. This number that is contacting me is not his number I don't know who it is.

Answer 7

Asker

And I did block him after the final exchange

Answer 8

OlderAndWiser

Okay. Just continue to block whoever contacts you and don't get engaged in any exchange with them.

Answer 9

Puppystarfish23

Xper 5

Yes, I used to have a lot of male friends and they'd always prefer hanging out with me then with their girlfriends and would always compare me to them and say stuff like "your so much more fun than my girlfriend" etc.

I always felt really uncomfortable with it and guilty. I would always worry about meeting their girlfriends just incase they were the jealous type. I had one guy friend who lived opposite his girlfriend and when we'd hang out at his flat he'd always rush me in so she wouldn't catch him and another time another guy friend took me to a show with him and afterwards I found out he'd bought the tickets for him and his girlfriend for her birthday but they fell out because she didn't want to go so he took me instead and that made her even angry with him because she saw me as a threat.

__inkRat

6 d
xD did similar thing with now ex. There was motorcycle seson ending even with about 3k riders and I wanted her on my tail, but she didn't want to go. So I called one of my best friends and she's hot xD. Got matching outfits, she fox tail I fox ears and had blast for day. A lot really nice pics. Some odd comments about us being married, nothing much else. Ouh boy ex was pissed about it to no end so I got dumped... xD The thing is me and my best friend haven't kissed nor slept, just friends.

She knew how much that event meant for me, why wouldn't she go and then get royally pissed about it, is beyond me.

Answer 10

__inkRat

xD did similar thing with now ex. There was motorcycle seson ending even with about 3k riders and I wanted her on my tail, but she didn't want to go. So I called one of my best friends and she's hot xD. Got matching outfits, she fox tail I fox ears and had blast for day. A lot really nice pics. Some odd comments about us being married, nothing much else. Ouh boy ex was pissed about it to no end so I got dumped... xD The thing is me and my best friend haven't kissed nor slept, just friends.

She knew how much that event meant for me, why wouldn't she go and then get royally pissed about it, is beyond me.

Answer 11

Newhead | 79 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Please keep shutting him out baby and do not entertain that type of love affair. They have drama that you need not take on to yourself, also karma will come to you, not because you're a bad person but because you contribute to a toxic cycle that needs to end, keep them blocked and live in peace.

Answer 12

CriticalDiscourse

Xper 5

No, I sniff that shit out in an instant. I am absolutely no man's second choice and there's no spiel you can feed me to make me the other woman.

I know not every woman is knowingly the other woman. No judgement there.

Answer 13

winterfox10 | 2.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

I'm not sure if they would be taunting you... this seems like a weird way to do it. Is there any harm in writing back that you cut things off with him after you found out about her, and that you aren't sure what there is to talk about?

Asker

5 d
Honestly it feels like more drama than is necessary. And I personally can't be bothered. I have to think about it like this. We are in the middle of a pandemic if for example she is weighing up the financial difficultiesshe could ensure, the love she may feel vs the humiliation of being cheated on that's her problem. We had something. Maybe it meant more to him, maybe he's just a player either way I cannot put myself in that place again.
He was all I ever wanted but his behaviour is something I cannot deal with because regardless of this he is too closed a book for me. And now that's what she can deal with. What she going to ask me, details of what works what doesn't, whether he's worth it, whether I want him, whether I'll come back again, in my own words why I was so dumb I couldn't see he had someone else? I don't want to relieve it, I told him many many years ago if ever we were together and I found out about another woman I would walk away quietly. Turns out I was the other woman what a horrible place to be.
winterfox10

5 d
I became the unwitting other man myself. It sucks. I guess I wished I had the chance to speak my peace to the boyfriend. It's probably better that I didn't, but I still think it would have been good to get some closure. .

Answer 14

Asker

Honestly it feels like more drama than is necessary. And I personally can't be bothered. I have to think about it like this. We are in the middle of a pandemic if for example she is weighing up the financial difficultiesshe could ensure, the love she may feel vs the humiliation of being cheated on that's her problem. We had something. Maybe it meant more to him, maybe he's just a player either way I cannot put myself in that place again.
He was all I ever wanted but his behaviour is something I cannot deal with because regardless of this he is too closed a book for me. And now that's what she can deal with. What she going to ask me, details of what works what doesn't, whether he's worth it, whether I want him, whether I'll come back again, in my own words why I was so dumb I couldn't see he had someone else? I don't want to relieve it, I told him many many years ago if ever we were together and I found out about another woman I would walk away quietly. Turns out I was the other woman what a horrible place to be.

Answer 15

winterfox10

I became the unwitting other man myself. It sucks. I guess I wished I had the chance to speak my peace to the boyfriend. It's probably better that I didn't, but I still think it would have been good to get some closure. .

Answer 16

WesBrewer | 308 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

I have never dealt with something like that, I also not a girl but as a guy I haven't.

Answer 17

Hangry22 | 631 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

I would never ever go after someone else's territory because i respect other's relationships even if they themselves don't. So nope

Asker

6 d
Sometimes you don't always know... Until you know life and experience will teach you that.
Hangry22

6 d
That sounds really bad. Maybe do a background check many times
Asker

6 d
We made contact via email.. I told him that I expected him to ignore it even tell me to f off. That I was going on a whim and wanted to know if he wanted us to meet. If meeting wasn't appropriate could we just talk. We talked and it was like the old days. I asked him if he was with someone and he told me no, simply because he was focusing on his business. So he asked me and I was honest. I told him I was with someone that well turned out to just be a liar. It had been more than 6 months and although I was over it I didn't want to go through that again. He digged deeper. And I thought we had an understanding. He told me where he was living that he was flat sharing. That although it's just him and another its awkward. So I asked him who he was living with and he said another guy...
When we video called he showed me around his place and it was really nice. I never went there not because I couldn't but because I'm juggling a lot it was always more convenient for him to come to me. He also works sometimes nights. So it just wasn't convenient. Anyways we were together say a year and as you expect things should be starting to progress but he didn't seem to want that in fact he seemed to be pushing me into things I didn't want to do and spending more time at his job in the northern part of England. To which he did invite me Christmas, my birthday and valentines came and he made no effort. I just knew. A friend of mine mentioned that she saw him helping a woman and a young child into a white car with shopping (his) she didn't know we were back together.
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Asker

6 d
So I pretended not to know and I started to call him at all hours of the night making and cancelling plans last minute. Which obviously annoyed him, one night he said he had a gathering at his while I was visiting my grandparents and he video called me, but he was sat in the dark. I could hear laughter then someone a woman came in and said "why are you in the dark? *lights go on* Roy's asking for the rum, oh you're on the phone I thought you were laying down" I hung up.
We argued and I told him we were over. That I couldn't trust him and he said that he was living with a woman and her son so I told him straight he was lying.
For weeks after the tried to convince me that he was telling the truth, wanted to take me out so I went to hear what he had to say and it was bullshit. He drove me home tried to seduce me in the car and I rejected him... We pretty much went into lockdown after that so we didn't talk much other than him checking in, but I shut him down when he only seemed to want to have phone sex I wasn't interested. We had a few heated exchanges and it was officially over. I stopped sleeping with him once I knew there was someone else. I had to get him to understand we were over because he doesn't understand goodbye... Her texting me is not something I expected because its been more than 6 months since we last spoke. (he and I)
Hangry22

6 d
That sound really cruel. It's better to just forget and block him everywhere like others said. Don't talk to his girlfriend. It will only open the doors to the past

Answer 18

Asker

Sometimes you don't always know... Until you know life and experience will teach you that.

Answer 19

Hangry22

That sounds really bad. Maybe do a background check many times

Answer 20

Asker

We made contact via email.. I told him that I expected him to ignore it even tell me to f off. That I was going on a whim and wanted to know if he wanted us to meet. If meeting wasn't appropriate could we just talk. We talked and it was like the old days. I asked him if he was with someone and he told me no, simply because he was focusing on his business. So he asked me and I was honest. I told him I was with someone that well turned out to just be a liar. It had been more than 6 months and although I was over it I didn't want to go through that again. He digged deeper. And I thought we had an understanding. He told me where he was living that he was flat sharing. That although it's just him and another its awkward. So I asked him who he was living with and he said another guy...
When we video called he showed me around his place and it was really nice. I never went there not because I couldn't but because I'm juggling a lot it was always more convenient for him to come to me. He also works sometimes nights. So it just wasn't convenient. Anyways we were together say a year and as you expect things should be starting to progress but he didn't seem to want that in fact he seemed to be pushing me into things I didn't want to do and spending more time at his job in the northern part of England. To which he did invite me Christmas, my birthday and valentines came and he made no effort. I just knew. A friend of mine mentioned that she saw him helping a woman and a young child into a white car with shopping (his) she didn't know we were back together.

Answer 21

Asker

So I pretended not to know and I started to call him at all hours of the night making and cancelling plans last minute. Which obviously annoyed him, one night he said he had a gathering at his while I was visiting my grandparents and he video called me, but he was sat in the dark. I could hear laughter then someone a woman came in and said "why are you in the dark? *lights go on* Roy's asking for the rum, oh you're on the phone I thought you were laying down" I hung up.
We argued and I told him we were over. That I couldn't trust him and he said that he was living with a woman and her son so I told him straight he was lying.
For weeks after the tried to convince me that he was telling the truth, wanted to take me out so I went to hear what he had to say and it was bullshit. He drove me home tried to seduce me in the car and I rejected him... We pretty much went into lockdown after that so we didn't talk much other than him checking in, but I shut him down when he only seemed to want to have phone sex I wasn't interested. We had a few heated exchanges and it was officially over. I stopped sleeping with him once I knew there was someone else. I had to get him to understand we were over because he doesn't understand goodbye... Her texting me is not something I expected because its been more than 6 months since we last spoke. (he and I)

Answer 22

Hangry22

That sound really cruel. It's better to just forget and block him everywhere like others said. Don't talk to his girlfriend. It will only open the doors to the past

Answer 23

spartan55 | 1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Taunting you because of your birthday? Lol... very doubtful.

spartan55

7 d
You "cut him off once and for all" and his girlfriend is still able to contact you... huh?
Asker

6 d
I ended it with him. I blocked him from contacting me. This number and email address is not the one he was using before. It could be him using a fake number and fake email. (I reckon he is that petty) why did he wait until now to slip up and get caught? We've not spoken in however long?
But a few days before my birthday? Yea sure...
spartan55

6 d
I thought it was his girlfriend that contacted you?
Show All Show Less
Asker

6 d
Precisely, so my comment is still valid. The most important one being. If we broke up so long ago why did he get so sloppy and let her find anything between us now? Obviously you couldn't answer any of these in the exact way he did as you are not him. But I'm speculating I'm asking you to consider the motivation behind this. And as I said it's suspicious that she contact me just a few days before my birthday...
spartan55

6 d
She found out he was talking to you and contacted you. I highly doubt she is aware of when your birthday is. Nor does she care.
Asker

6 d
OK. I gather that much. Gosh. I'm not asking you to condone what went on between us. If I knew he was with her I would have left well alone which he knew. He's an idiot. But I was an even bigger fool for him and I get that now. I guess I just can't understand why she is calling me now when it was over ages ago. But I'm guessing he got sloppy and she found these things.

Answer 24

spartan55

You "cut him off once and for all" and his girlfriend is still able to contact you... huh?

Answer 25

Asker

I ended it with him. I blocked him from contacting me. This number and email address is not the one he was using before. It could be him using a fake number and fake email. (I reckon he is that petty) why did he wait until now to slip up and get caught? We've not spoken in however long?
But a few days before my birthday? Yea sure...

Answer 26

spartan55

I thought it was his girlfriend that contacted you?

Answer 27

Asker

Precisely, so my comment is still valid. The most important one being. If we broke up so long ago why did he get so sloppy and let her find anything between us now? Obviously you couldn't answer any of these in the exact way he did as you are not him. But I'm speculating I'm asking you to consider the motivation behind this. And as I said it's suspicious that she contact me just a few days before my birthday...

Answer 28

spartan55

She found out he was talking to you and contacted you. I highly doubt she is aware of when your birthday is. Nor does she care.

Answer 29

Asker

OK. I gather that much. Gosh. I'm not asking you to condone what went on between us. If I knew he was with her I would have left well alone which he knew. He's an idiot. But I was an even bigger fool for him and I get that now. I guess I just can't understand why she is calling me now when it was over ages ago. But I'm guessing he got sloppy and she found these things.

Answer 30

boxcarjoe

Xper 3

Iv been the other guy before. Fucked a dudes wife. He blackmailed me and I denied and got the fuck out of there.

Answer 31

yucychan | 391 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Just block those two bozos

Answer 32

Iron_Man | 6.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

No I’ve never had that problem LOL

Answer 33

stuntbrain | 408 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

It was extremely awkward

Answer 34

BackAgain602

Xper 6

No. I hope I never am.

Answer 35

Tonita91996

Xper 7

Know your worth and move on

Answer 36

David7825

Xper 4

Yeah

Asker

7 d
What happened?

Answer 37

Asker

What happened?

Ever had to deal with being the other woman?

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