Is how a guy treats his mom and how a girl treats her dad generally indicative of how they'll treat their lover?

[Anonymous]

It depends. So basically you could never quite know. Maybe I treat my dad a little worse because he cheated on my mom and left her a week after proposing to her, he didn’t work or contribute to the household when I was a child, he was verbally and physically abusive, used me for money and took my college loan stipend check so that I couldn’t afford books or a bus ticket and had to drop out in the first semester, emotionally neglected us and he never made me feel protected, and his every attempt or promise to redeem himself has been half assed and often unmet. I love my dad so he is lucky to even be able to have me in his life. After everything he did, to even have any kind of contact with me is merciful on my end. If a guy was to assume I would be cold and distant to him or quickly irritated with him because of my dad he would be wrong. My dad earned his treatment. I think about this kind of thing and try not to judge others however I do think that in some cases it’s true. Some people just don’t appreciate their parents

[Apple1996]

It sure seems like it. If someone treats there parents or family bad it's most likely that they also treat their lover that way too.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

No.
I treat my mother the way she deserves for the costant years of neglect and abandonment, while my fiancée doesn't deserve any of that. Still, it irks me when she insists to defend my mother.

[Bananaman177]

Emphasis on "generally."

[jennifer_bloom]

I think kindness and unkindness are random unrelated variables between your partner and your parent but loyalty and commitment are not - an independent person who voluntarily cares for their parents will be less likely to divorce or cheat or break up than somebody who abandons or cuts off contact with their family but you can’t predict how much respect and sweetness you get by observing one relationship or another cause romance is a different context from family relationships

[btbc92]

90% is true. My family is a perfect example. However, 5-10% is on the rarity. The overall premise is that his mother is an extension of what a woman should be in his life. That doesn't mean she is going to sleep with his mother. Or that he wants exactly that in a partner. But if he isn't taught how to treat and love a woman, it won't matter what type of woman he gets, most women will either be used or abused by that guy if he had a poor experience with women or even his own father.

The same rules apply to women with our fathers. Now. I suffered abuse all my life. But even though I suffered that I KNOW not to hate men. My problems came from outside influences of insecure and poor boys and men who wanted to already use and abuse me even if they never came from a dysfunctional home. But in my sister's case, she married a guy like our father and have problems. However, he can have a great relationship with his parents, and still treat women badly.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

At certain level it does, also depends on people how good they are at convincing the differences they have.

At psychological level one theory suggests that people often tend like someone with qualities of the people at home be it male or female and it also works in similar way for good and bad qualities.

If someone lets go of bad qualities of their parent they are also open if such quality is presented by the partner.

So depends on the relationship dynamics and its more about treating people around you..

[EmilyGreen99]

No because each person is different. I may not have a good relationship with my father doesn't mean I will not have a good relationship with the person I myself chose my lover.

Each person is different. Just because both my dad and my boyfriend got a dick doesn't mean they are the same

[Anonymous]

No, this isn’t turn often.
Someone like me who has no time for my dad, avoid him, I do cut him off when he goes on about things and so on. I’m like this because my dad has treated me, my brother and mother like sht so i can’t be bothered with him and often people who don’t know what’s happened for me to be like that, think I’m rude to him.
Also, I often find people love their family and are nice with them but then to others they treat like sht or have no care or respect for.
There are of course times where how a person treats their parents is how they’ll treat a partner but that is not always the case.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Not really. I mean if your mother is a psycho bitch and you treat her as such, it doesn't mean your goin to treat some one who isn't a psycho bitch like they are. It can be a general rule of thumb but I wouldn't consider it a hard rule (my mother was, well to be frank, kind of a cunt. Doesn't mean thats how I treat women (in fact I was a cuddle whore and am quite playful with girlfriends).

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I guess. I don’t respect or think too highly of my father because he doesn’t respect me, my mother, nor his own mother. Since he doesn’t respect his own mother I’m sure that’s why he’s a complete narcissist that hates women. My mother’s first husband and I get along. He respects his mother and sisters. In my love life... I just take men at face value and enforce my boundaries. If one meets my standards that’ll be surprising.

[I-C3_ME]

To me i don't hold this as true in some cases, for example my mother isn't a very affectionate person which my childself took really really badly, this still makes me distant towards her on an emotional level BUT what my mother couldn't do, my grandmother tried picking up so i am really close to my grandmother.


Just people who know my warm side can get a little uneasy, when they see my cold side

[ronaldo75]

Women tend to put a lot of bullshit generalization on men and 99% of the time it's for their own benefit OR they're projecting. Plenty of men treat their mothers like shit because mothers were brutal to them as kids - these same men treat their girlfriends and wives JUST fine. In contrast, it's women who take out their tensions and issues with their fathers on their male partners later on in life.

[Anonymous]

never heard this before, but now that I think about it, there might be some truth in it. I just left a relationship with someone I cared about. I had a lot of problems with myself and one of the major ones is that I was never able to fully open up with my former partner, and im the same way with my dad. I love my dad but im never open to him. we're close but not really. same with the guys I've been with. geez.

[kkirk4442]

How he treats his family, his entire family, is a good indicator. However, that is not the entire story. You need to look and observe over a period of time to really get a better understanding of how a guy treats people.

[Sarahr123]

Not always true at all. People have bad relationships with their family for many reasons so without knowing their individual backgrounds it is not possible to comment on the matter.

[lanadelrey25]

I think so. But for a minute I thought of those Italian mob films where the guy loves his little Italian mama to death but is a real asshole to his wife... lmao just popped into my head.

[JKingOff]

My dad passed away when I was nine, and my mom and I currently have a long distance relationship. Longer the distance between us the better our relationship. I do not and will not treat my partner the same way.

[pigoat]

It's a person by person thing


I know people who love and respect their parent but abuse their partners

Quite sad

[pleasestopthis]

Not necessarily. Abused children full of resentment and bitterness can treat their parents badly as a result, so I don't think one should generalize.

[kingofthellamas]

I'd also add watch how they speak to people in positions of authority and in mundane roles so you can see if they are respectful and kind, fearful or a bully.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, it could be I know of girls who seeked attention from older guys who were later sorry when their dads passed away so who knows?

[MannMitAntworten]

No. Not remotely. What it could indicate is your hierarchy in your relationship is all. In other words... that you come after said parent.

[Kabluie]

Generally yes, the mannerisms do show up in a relationship.

[gangster123]

If someone is not treating his mom right, he cannot treat you well...

[Anastacia1989]

Not necessarily the case but most of the time it can give you an idea of how they treat people in general...

[art84]

I treat my mom with love, kindness and respect and if I had a girlfriend, I would treat her the same way.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Nope. Why is this misconception still all over the place?

[DamnSam]

I suggest to read Sigmund Freud... he knew a lot about this and wasn't ashamed to write it down

[blondfrog]

Yes I truly believe that at least for the most part.

[yucel_eden]

Although correlating it is not wise to think of it is a outmost certainty.

[Shy_Steve]

In most cases, But it can still depend on there attitude towards people.

[I_Can_Help]

Yes. I only date girls who treat their dads to slow & sensual blowjobs.

[prince370]

Not for a huge proportion of us who are in fact adopted, or didn't grow up with one or both biological parents, but were never told about it.

[Anonymous]

Not every girl has had the greatest dad nor has every guy had the greatest mom so don’t be quick to pass this judgement.

[Anonymous]

I think it is almost always true. I never date women who don't have good, respectful relationships with their fathers.

[aestheticcxx]

In some cases, yes. But in some cases it’s because the parent is toxic so no

[Yurtt]

I 100% think so anyways, if someone cannot treat their family with respect then they will never give their all in a relationship

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Generally speaking, yes. A bad person with a bad personality tends to spread their bad attitude unto others too eventually.

[Anonymous]

No. I have much more expectations of a girlfriend than my mom, and she can expect less help than I give my mom.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a broad generalization. How does it apply to homosexuals?

It might be true in some circumstances but just like racial stereotypes they aren't 100% true.

[WorlfMan]

Not necessarily, but usually I think so

[FakeNIK]

Probably but not always

[Dinosaursandanime65]

That’s also what my mom said

[Agape93]

Nope

[OceanMelon]

Generally, yeah.

[yofuknutz]

Fuk dat!