I realized I (37f) have feelings for my friend who is now my current roommate (27m)?

Anonymous
We met a year and a half ago. We pretty much immediately started hanging out as we had the same friends. We then started sleeping together. Nothing serious it was purely casual. We both had recently gotten out of long-term relationships. When we both needed a new place to live we decided that we would move in together to help each other. it was originally going to be three of us in the apartment. Him and I and one of his friends.

That is not what ended up happening. We ended up getting a two bedroom just me and him. We had numerous discussions on how we both wanna keep it professional if we will be living together.

The sexual relationship ended a few months before we moved in together. Since moving in at the end of January, there of been some extremely awkward and sexual tension related moments. Which I completely ignored knowing that this could end badly. I know I’m not crazy, I know he felt it too. He can be extremely flirty at times and I get mixed readings on certain situations.

Cut to tonight where he brings a girl over to the new place. they are all over each other immediately in front of me. That’s when it hit me.
I tried to act super casual and nice to the girl. I’m literally sitting on the couch and they’re all over each other next to me. He would kiss her and look at me. Wtf is that? I got sick to my stomach, which is when I realized that I have feelings for him. She went to the bathroom and he was asking me how I felt about her. Asking me for advice? WTF! Then they went upstairs and I just sat there. I shouldn’t care but I do.

I know that I cannot say a word. He clearly does not see me as anything but a friend and roommate and that’s alright.
I know that there is no way in hell I can ever tell him or anyone how I actually feel. It will ruin everything and we just moved in. I know I need to just move on and push these feelings away. I don't know why he is asking me for advice and this ain’t the first time he’s done that either.
I realized I (37f) have feelings for my friend who is now my current roommate (27m)?
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