Is my boyfriend attracted to me sexually?

Question

I started dating one of my very good friends last month, it feels natural and we already had love for eachother but I've realized there isn't a lot of passion sexually. We have only had sex 3 times. His ex girlfriend said lots of bad things to me Concerning his attraction to me but I am starting to believe her because of the lack of want for sex. He says he is attracted to me but is insecure because of the emotional abuse from his ex girlfriend. I don't know what to believe. Help.

Answer 1

Effably | 86 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

For the sake of just looking at what you told us:
1. Guy claims insecurity due to ex'd behaviour.
2. Said Ex goes out of her way to harm your relationship, attempting to feed your insecurities.

I'm not saying he absolutely wouldn't be able to contain himself otherwise but his reason seems plausible enough. So then you two figure out how to work around it. Any common themes that preceeded the times it did happen? I know from personal experience that in a relationship I had, while finding her very attractive and when things happened they were not just good but fantastic, my drive was super low. Turned out though that simple conversation was enough to turn it from low to high.

Asker

24 d
We've talked about it and he reassures me but im not sure what else to do to enforce it. We both need the other to make the move so we get stuck. But we are so used to spending time together thats its okay when we don't have sex. But every time we don't i get insecure about it. And naturally I've always had guys make the first move. Can you suggest anything I can do? Besides not be a coward 🤣
Effably

23 d
Not being a coward is such solid advice though! Seduce your man bold and daringly!

Lead into it slow? You can always go for activities that are intimate but not explicitly sexual. The idea is after all about comfort and trust. Talk it out with him. I am sure you two can set up some sort of clever system.
Asker

23 d
Thanks dude! I'm going to do that

Answer 2

Asker

We've talked about it and he reassures me but im not sure what else to do to enforce it. We both need the other to make the move so we get stuck. But we are so used to spending time together thats its okay when we don't have sex. But every time we don't i get insecure about it. And naturally I've always had guys make the first move. Can you suggest anything I can do? Besides not be a coward 🤣

Answer 3

Effably

Not being a coward is such solid advice though! Seduce your man bold and daringly!

Lead into it slow? You can always go for activities that are intimate but not explicitly sexual. The idea is after all about comfort and trust. Talk it out with him. I am sure you two can set up some sort of clever system.

Answer 4

Asker

Thanks dude! I'm going to do that

Answer 5

slatyb | 2.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

You don’t have to decide who to believe. This relationship is not meeting your sexual needs, and that’s all you need to know. You can either talk to him about and see if he’s able to change (I’m doubtful), or you can just tell him “I really like you but this is not working for me. I hope we can remain friends.”

Answer 6

jahaims | 288 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

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Is my boyfriend attracted to me sexually?

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