How do you stop thinking of someone whom you had feelings for but nothing ever happened?

Question

I can't stop thinking about him.
It has been over 20 years and i think of him every day. Like he was a part of my life and it happened. He and i are both married with kids to other people.

Answer 1

ayomanwya | 74 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

I don’t think you ever can stop having feelings for someone even though nothing ever happened. I had feelings for a girl that I used to work with, she quit due to school, seen that she came back (it was great to see her again but why did she come back 😩) and then she left again. I finally told her on Snapchat after working with her for like 2 years

Answer 2

TruthBringer | 171 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

Because you haven't met someone even better. If you did, then you wouldn't be thinking about this dude. You've pedestalized him in your head. Sounds like you got "Alpha widowed". Sounds like you see that man as higher value than your now-husband. I feel bad for your husband.

Asker

8 d
No i don't think he is better than my husband
I just had stronger feelings for him at a much younger more innocent age
TruthBringer

8 d
@Asker Yeah, you rationally know he isn't better than your husband. But apparently that's not what your gut is telling you. We humans don't ponder over a person who isn't better than our current partner. It simply could be that you're living in the past. Or at least let the past have much power in your life. What's gone is gone. And since relationships often fail, your relationship with that other guy would probably fail aswel if it ever would have taken place.

Answer 3

Asker

No i don't think he is better than my husband
I just had stronger feelings for him at a much younger more innocent age

Answer 4

TruthBringer

@Asker Yeah, you rationally know he isn't better than your husband. But apparently that's not what your gut is telling you. We humans don't ponder over a person who isn't better than our current partner. It simply could be that you're living in the past. Or at least let the past have much power in your life. What's gone is gone. And since relationships often fail, your relationship with that other guy would probably fail aswel if it ever would have taken place.

Answer 5

Espresso-Grande | 253 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

If nothing happened between you both, all you are holding into is an illusion you've created in your own imagination. So accept that the life you imagine with him would not be your reality now if you had got together years ago.

Answer 6

iseekpinetrees | 320 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

You just keep it in the back of your head. And go about your current life.

Answer 7

Jahizamy

Xper 3

For 20 years?

Only hypnosis can solve that

Asker

8 d
Maybe... But i don't want to try it.

Answer 8

Asker

Maybe... But i don't want to try it.

Answer 9

Niki777

Xper 4

If you could just move to another country

Asker

8 d
No because i tried that already
Niki777

8 d
Long term?
Asker

8 d
We lived overseas for 3 years

Answer 10

Asker

No because i tried that already

Answer 11

Niki777

Long term?

Answer 12

Asker

We lived overseas for 3 years

How do you stop thinking of someone whom you had feelings for but nothing ever happened?

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