Do you he would want to give it another go with me or did I completely ruined things?

Question

it’s a long story but I basically screwed up so badly with this guy I was into, and at first I thought he only wanted to hook up with me but later on I realized it wasn’t anything like that and I pretty much projected all my bad experiences with guys onto him and just didn’t give him a chance to prove me wrong or at all. And he ended up ghosting me and unfriending me on snap, and there were times where he did try and reach out I guess.. but I just gave him the cold shoulder, or like after Thanksgiving he had asked me how mine was and i was kind of short with him and just didn’t bother asking him how his was even though I really wanted to know, after that I noticed he was being petty towards me a little, his behavior changed like when I was sitting on this bench he wouldn’t sit on it if I was on it and I can’t help but wonder why he was acting that way. Eventually he stopped being petty and randomly sat next to me again and I don't know if that’s a sign of him moving on or giving up or maybe he was bored this whole time and found someone better I don't know, but I just really miss him and feel bad about this whole thing and like I wouldn’t even know how to start a convo with him anymore or know what to say. It’s been a few months and i hang out with guys but they’re just not him. He’s so different from them but yeah I’m just a simp and just want to fix things and try again with him

Answer 1

Anonymous

Ugh, I’ve had times like these in the past and was just like you are now, being so hard on myself. Personally I feel like we’re all going to screw up in this life, but I promise, the right guy/girl will be more understanding and still want to pursue you. I just had something like this happen on Monday night, I had a bit of an argument with the guy I’m dating because he did something that reminded me of what happened with an ex. I basically shut down, got really cold and mean to him then went home and felt like shit. But I apologized the next day and explained things, and to my surprise he brushed it off and didn’t ghost. This is what showed me that the right person will stick around, bc in the past, one mistake and the guy was gone. It made me beat myself up a lot afterwards before I realized not everyone will do that to me. Moral of this story is, give yourself a break and trust the outcome of your situation. That guy left because he didn’t have what it takes to be with someone like you. You need someone patient and understanding. But also, you still have some healing to do, because as much as you want forgiveness for the past creeping up into the present, it will continuously be an obstacle until you take care of it.

lisanicolehaling

1 d
Aww I’m glad he didn’t ghost and things went alright. I eventually sent him two messages on sc one explaining what happened the night before and the other was apologizing for whatever I did that made him ghost and then didn’t want to come off that way so I deleted it before he even read it.. and unfriended him as well :( to this day I wonder what would’ve happened if I had just left it. Everyday I try to move on and move pass it but it’s hard when I see him around and not knowing if he’s as hurt as i am
Opinion Owner

1 d
I’ll be honest, that doesn’t sound like the best way to have handled it. I do get where your mind was, because I get the same way. But have you ever considered that maybe he never has the intention to stick around? What if all he wanted was sex and not all this emotional stuff? Then by you acting how you did, it freaked him out and he ghosted? I’m just saying, the catalyst may not be what you think and even if you did everything perfect, if he had no plan to stick with you then he was going to leave regardless.
Opinion Owner

1 d
Also, don’t invest too much time having those what-if thoughts. Because like what if you sent the message and he left it on read? Or sent you something rude and hurtful in response? It could’ve gone any number of ways that you’ll never know now, so it’s better to just know that this was how it was supposed to play out, and move on.
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lisanicolehaling

1 d
It did cross my mind, it was only after he ghosted that I sent those messages... bc I was confused he wanted to come over and then changed his mind when I left him on read for 2 hrs, I wasn’t sure why he felt uncomfortable afterwards when he reassured me he just wanted to chill and watch a movie.. I can’t help but wonder maybe he thought it was the other way around, anyway I was stupid anyway for not giving him a chance and even if he did wanted sex I think he should’ve made it more clear from the get go
Opinion Owner

1 d
It’s very rare that guys will flat out say they want friends with benefits. It’s all about saving face or not looking like a one track minded jackass. I really do feel like you dodged a bullet because if he were serious, that one slip up shouldn’t have sent him over the deep end.
lisanicolehaling

1 d
I guess you’re right I don't know, my friends think I messed up, bc they’re like in modern days that’s how guys do dates and that he really liked me or whatever so I’ve been feeling bad that I didn’t even give him a chance. I see it now that you’re totally right though, he ghosted when I went silent for 2 hrs and then decided he was no longer comfortable coming like what, I still wonder what kind of been sometimes but now I know
Opinion Owner

1 d
And your friends could be right, they’re getting a much different, personal outlook on the situation than myself or anyone not directly around you. From my perspective though, I feel like that all happened for a reason and how things are now are how they’re meant to be.

Answer 2

lisanicolehaling

Aww I’m glad he didn’t ghost and things went alright. I eventually sent him two messages on sc one explaining what happened the night before and the other was apologizing for whatever I did that made him ghost and then didn’t want to come off that way so I deleted it before he even read it.. and unfriended him as well :( to this day I wonder what would’ve happened if I had just left it. Everyday I try to move on and move pass it but it’s hard when I see him around and not knowing if he’s as hurt as i am

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

I’ll be honest, that doesn’t sound like the best way to have handled it. I do get where your mind was, because I get the same way. But have you ever considered that maybe he never has the intention to stick around? What if all he wanted was sex and not all this emotional stuff? Then by you acting how you did, it freaked him out and he ghosted? I’m just saying, the catalyst may not be what you think and even if you did everything perfect, if he had no plan to stick with you then he was going to leave regardless.

Answer 4

Opinion Owner

Also, don’t invest too much time having those what-if thoughts. Because like what if you sent the message and he left it on read? Or sent you something rude and hurtful in response? It could’ve gone any number of ways that you’ll never know now, so it’s better to just know that this was how it was supposed to play out, and move on.

Answer 5

lisanicolehaling

It did cross my mind, it was only after he ghosted that I sent those messages... bc I was confused he wanted to come over and then changed his mind when I left him on read for 2 hrs, I wasn’t sure why he felt uncomfortable afterwards when he reassured me he just wanted to chill and watch a movie.. I can’t help but wonder maybe he thought it was the other way around, anyway I was stupid anyway for not giving him a chance and even if he did wanted sex I think he should’ve made it more clear from the get go

Answer 6

Opinion Owner

It’s very rare that guys will flat out say they want friends with benefits. It’s all about saving face or not looking like a one track minded jackass. I really do feel like you dodged a bullet because if he were serious, that one slip up shouldn’t have sent him over the deep end.

Answer 7

lisanicolehaling

I guess you’re right I don't know, my friends think I messed up, bc they’re like in modern days that’s how guys do dates and that he really liked me or whatever so I’ve been feeling bad that I didn’t even give him a chance. I see it now that you’re totally right though, he ghosted when I went silent for 2 hrs and then decided he was no longer comfortable coming like what, I still wonder what kind of been sometimes but now I know

Answer 8

Opinion Owner

And your friends could be right, they’re getting a much different, personal outlook on the situation than myself or anyone not directly around you. From my perspective though, I feel like that all happened for a reason and how things are now are how they’re meant to be.

Answer 9

sensible27 | 430 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Apologize. Say how you feel, and why and how those things happened, it's okay people make mistakes, and misjudge things, if you really believe you acted in a way that wasn't rational, say sorry. : )

Answer 10

ChocoBrowny

Xper 5

It didn't happen, move on. Life is too short to dwell on the past. If you see him around just say hello and ask him how he is and take it from there.

Answer 11

Anonymous

Just say you're sorry and you find it hard to trust because of past experiences I'm sure it will work out

Answer 12

Anonymous

Why do you have short as 5'4 and below and tall as above 5'4? That's not accurate.

Answer 13

Bklynbadboy12 | 53 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

Why don't you just apologize and see what happens

lisanicolehaling

1 d
I guess I don’t really know how to, it’s been awhile I don’t want to randomly just say it ya know. I mean I could but it’d just be really random and idek if he’s still thinking about it
Bklynbadboy12

1 d
Just hit him up and say hey I was thinking about you and how things ended and I just want to say sorry

Answer 14

lisanicolehaling

I guess I don’t really know how to, it’s been awhile I don’t want to randomly just say it ya know. I mean I could but it’d just be really random and idek if he’s still thinking about it

Answer 15

Bklynbadboy12

Just hit him up and say hey I was thinking about you and how things ended and I just want to say sorry

Do you he would want to give it another go with me or did I completely ruined things?

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