Should I be upset that my boyfriend spent nye without me?

Question

For NYE I spent it at a family party and I invited my boyfriend 2 weeks before nye to which he said yes. However, 3 days before nye he told me he wanted to spend it at home with his sister which was fine with me as family always comes first. It turns out he lied to me though, he didn’t want to stay home with his sister he wanted to go with his mate to some random house party where he didn’t know anyone there other than his one mate he went with.
Should I be upset and angry? He cancelled on our plans, lied to me about what he was doing and chose a random house party over spending nye with me.
I think nye should be spent with the people you love and care about so the fact he chose a random house party over spending it with me makes me think differently on the relationship, what should I do?

Answer 1

xHoneyxBeex | 1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

I would be upset in that situation, absolutely. It's not a huge issue if he just wanted to do something else for new years eve, but he should at least have had the decency to be honest with you about it and invite you to the party as well. I'm not going to tell you what you should do but the fact that he lied about where he would be is a huge red flag and would honestly make me reconsider the relationship if I were in your shoes.

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1 Person

Asker

5 mo
I thought maybe I was being unreasonable for being upset, but I’m glad I’m not. Exactly! He didn’t even invite me to the party which should say a lot. I’m annoyed he agreed to spend it with me at my family party and then later cancelled and lied about what he would be doing instead, and chose some random people over me.
I had my family asking the whole night where he was and when I told them he went to a house party instead they didn’t understand why just like myself. I tried talking to him about it but he wouldn’t listen and made out I was starting an argument, so I’ve not spoke to him since. It’s been 2 days now and he’s tried to message and I’m trying so hard not to give in but it’s hard not to give in😩
I love him and want to be with him, but I know I shouldn’t be with, it’s a difficult one
xHoneyxBeex

5 mo
Yeah, it's always tough in situations like that. I'm sorry you're going through this! It probably is for the best to end things though, especially since if he'll lie about that, I would wonder what else he's lied about and I would find it difficult to trust him in the future. You deserve better than that.
Asker

5 mo
What makes me more upset is the fact he chose a random party with random people over me, I’m supposed to be his fiancé. We got engaged in March 2021, another reason why it’s hard to just end it, but your right it probably is for the best to end it. I’ve lost my trust for him and I’ve told him that and instead of trying to win me his trust back he still continues to lie, that says enough really doesn’t it. I think I’ll try my best to not give in and reply to his messages, it’s best the relationship is left in 2021. Thank you!
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xHoneyxBeex

5 mo
No problem and I wish you all the best!

Answer 2

Asker

I thought maybe I was being unreasonable for being upset, but I’m glad I’m not. Exactly! He didn’t even invite me to the party which should say a lot. I’m annoyed he agreed to spend it with me at my family party and then later cancelled and lied about what he would be doing instead, and chose some random people over me.
I had my family asking the whole night where he was and when I told them he went to a house party instead they didn’t understand why just like myself. I tried talking to him about it but he wouldn’t listen and made out I was starting an argument, so I’ve not spoke to him since. It’s been 2 days now and he’s tried to message and I’m trying so hard not to give in but it’s hard not to give in😩
I love him and want to be with him, but I know I shouldn’t be with, it’s a difficult one

Answer 3

xHoneyxBeex

Yeah, it's always tough in situations like that. I'm sorry you're going through this! It probably is for the best to end things though, especially since if he'll lie about that, I would wonder what else he's lied about and I would find it difficult to trust him in the future. You deserve better than that.

Answer 4

Asker

What makes me more upset is the fact he chose a random party with random people over me, I’m supposed to be his fiancé. We got engaged in March 2021, another reason why it’s hard to just end it, but your right it probably is for the best to end it. I’ve lost my trust for him and I’ve told him that and instead of trying to win me his trust back he still continues to lie, that says enough really doesn’t it. I think I’ll try my best to not give in and reply to his messages, it’s best the relationship is left in 2021. Thank you!

Answer 5

xHoneyxBeex

No problem and I wish you all the best!

Answer 6

Wise4myage | 2.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Not only should you be upset, but I would wonder if he had some other girl in mind?

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Answer 7

KellyKOO

Xper 6

You're right to be upset. He lied to you.

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1 Person

Asker

5 mo
It’s just one lie after another with him these days😩
KellyKOO

5 mo
Have you spoken to him about this?
Asker

5 mo
I’ve spoke to him about nye, he said he hasn’t done anything wrong. I think he has as he cancelled on me, lied to me about the reason why he cancelled and then chose some random people he doesn’t even know over being with me. To me that is wrong. I’ve also pulled him up many times on other lies he said but he just denies it or says I’m starting an argument over nothing
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KellyKOO

5 mo
I'm on your side. You should reevaluate the relationship, if he lies and keep denying it.
KellyKOO

5 mo
How could you build trust when he lies about simple things like this.
Asker

5 mo
Exactly!! I trusted him but now I don’t trust him in the slightest. It’s not all little things he’s lied about either so it’s hard to trust him now. I just don’t know what to do as I love him and we’ve had so many good times together, and I’ve tried breaking up with him before and went a day without talking to him, it was really hard and I ended up giving in and answering his texts and calls. It’s a hard one😩
KellyKOO

5 mo
I understand it's hard to breakup because you love him. But you have to think long term. He can't keep lying and hurting you. So either he change or you break up before he hurts you further.
Asker

5 mo
That’s very true!! Thank you! I don’t think he will change as I’ve tried having conversations with him about it many times, but nothing changes so I don’t think it will change anytime soon

Answer 8

Asker

It’s just one lie after another with him these days😩

Answer 9

KellyKOO

Have you spoken to him about this?

Answer 10

Asker

I’ve spoke to him about nye, he said he hasn’t done anything wrong. I think he has as he cancelled on me, lied to me about the reason why he cancelled and then chose some random people he doesn’t even know over being with me. To me that is wrong. I’ve also pulled him up many times on other lies he said but he just denies it or says I’m starting an argument over nothing

Answer 11

KellyKOO

I'm on your side. You should reevaluate the relationship, if he lies and keep denying it.

Answer 12

KellyKOO

How could you build trust when he lies about simple things like this.

Answer 13

Asker

Exactly!! I trusted him but now I don’t trust him in the slightest. It’s not all little things he’s lied about either so it’s hard to trust him now. I just don’t know what to do as I love him and we’ve had so many good times together, and I’ve tried breaking up with him before and went a day without talking to him, it was really hard and I ended up giving in and answering his texts and calls. It’s a hard one😩

Answer 14

KellyKOO

I understand it's hard to breakup because you love him. But you have to think long term. He can't keep lying and hurting you. So either he change or you break up before he hurts you further.

Answer 15

Asker

That’s very true!! Thank you! I don’t think he will change as I’ve tried having conversations with him about it many times, but nothing changes so I don’t think it will change anytime soon

Answer 16

TheAfrikan | 420 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Men also need a boys time.

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Asker

5 mo
He has boy time all the time. I don’t stop him. There’s having boy time and then there’s lying to your partner for no reason, especially when it’s a regular basis. Needing boy time isn’t the issue

Answer 17

Asker

He has boy time all the time. I don’t stop him. There’s having boy time and then there’s lying to your partner for no reason, especially when it’s a regular basis. Needing boy time isn’t the issue

Should I be upset that my boyfriend spent nye without me?

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