Appropriate? I don't know. I probably wouldn't be jealous if a girlfriend met an ex that she hadn't seen in years - unless there was too much affection going on in that hug/kiss. I doubt I would date a girl if their ex was still in their life, unless they were married / had kids together. Past that, if she wants to be mad about who I dated 20 years ago... that's on her. That's her issue. I don't see myself ever apologizing for simply dating someone before I met the current / future girlfriend. I can admit to a mistake or lapse in judgement, but not just for dating somone 5-10-20 years ago.
I would not want graphic details about what they did together. I would probably assume, but not want to know for sure (unless he had some STD or something he gave her that becomes my business if she and I are going to get intimate).
Question - would you have been angry or suspicious if he just went about his business and ignored telling you who this girl was?
Would you be mad if he downplayed it "Oh, she's an old friend", and years later, you found out they had dated and he had lied about who she was? I would personally probably mention who she was, not lie, but just give basic info.
I would be cordial with one ex if I met her. But I wouldn't go out of my way to say Hello or anything (this would be if she approached me). I don't know if I would announce who I was with as my girlfriend/wife - maybe, maybe not - This ex had a BAD issue with extreme jealousy (she even threatened platonic friends with violence, when I was out of earshot, I discovered later), I might just say "This is ________________. Good seeing you, gotta head off, bye."
If that was the case, I would mention to whoever I was dating now "(ex) and I dated for a really short time a long time ago - she had jealousy issues, among other problems, so I didn't want to bring that potential crazy back on you. It wasn't meant to insult what we have."
I wouldn't volunteer graphic detail about past girls, but I'd probably be pretty open about it the basics if the subject of exes came up naturally. Past that, any woman I'd be dating in the future can assume whatever she wants about what we did or didn't do as long as she isn't taking it out on me as if I'm cheating or something.
I think you're overreacting. I get that it's uncomfortable but it's a part of life and you're only making it harder in yourself by blowing the situation up to a point where everyone else has to feel your anxiety.
There are guys who do this too. Think about how they're looked at.
Well it would probably upset me too (and I could be jealous for a moment) but I would swallow it and forget about it and not show I’m upset as much as possible… we all have a past and it’s basic courtesy not to brag or talk outrageously about it, but in this instance he had little options maybe… If no lies then you can’t really blame him he didn’t do anything wrong and doesn’t deserve you being angry at him
Was she yapping a lot and not giving him a chance to talk?
Yeah I do expect him to introduce you as his girlfriend but lol 😆 😂 🤣 now I realise maybe it is obvious the girl he is with is his girlfriend 💁♀️ I don't know... anyway.
Why are you mad, did he flirt with her? I'd be annoyed by the ex but not with my boyfriend.
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46Opinion
u He thought he needed to tell you the truth. He was trying to not hide anything. And you're mad.
Get over it!
I’d try to avoid seeing or meeting any of our exes if possible coz I don’t want any drama period.
Sounds like you both messed up. As his partner he should have introduced you to her and engaged both of you in conversation. Wrong of him.
You being in silent angry mode was also wrong. Should have been able to speak up and not feel angry that he’s being social.
Why are you upset that he talked with an ex and then told you who she was? An Ex is exactly that... an Ex, no longer important. He has you now and you should be happy with that. Everyone has a past and it's a sign of disrespect and lack of self-confidence to not understand that.
I know a couple of my husband’s exes. But they are both ones with whom they separated amicably. We bumped into them, I was introduced, said a few little bits and then we went our separate ways. I would have been upset if we had not been introduced as if I wasn’t good enough to know them but he was honest and open with me and that is what counts.
My ex would do this "oh see her she was my ex" "oh see that one she was my ex" I'm like wtf? I don't care you're dating me not them, should have seen that as a red flag but I didn't. 🙄
Safe to say I'm not with that car crash anymore. 🤣
I think if it’s a random meeting like that then it’s okay. I don’t think you should’ve immediately gone into angry silent mode, for what reason? You should’ve joined the conversation. If you don’t want to know each other’s ex that should be told ahead of time. Then he could’ve said it was an old friend.
Gloree girl, hiiii! 👐 You guys love each other so much and are really afraid of losing the relationship. Are you both very attractive people?
You’re acting childish lol silent angry mode. Grow up. Chances are just from reading this you two will separate eventually. You seem like you’re one of those girls who can do no wrong, you like to argue for the sake of arguing. You act like the victim.
Personally I don’t care to know about a girls exes unless it’s relevant like if her ex is crazy or is gonna try and cause trouble.
otherwise I don’t give a shit.
Also same opinion as @OlderAndWiser
Well, he was simply stating who she was, in case you were wondering why she was being so chatty with him. I dont see why his explaining made you upset. Would you have preferred him not saying anything and then silently driving?
That your insecurity is gonna cause a lot of issues and you should deal with that because if you don’t you are gonna self sabatoge
He met somebody from his past. He explained to you who she was. He did nothing wrong.
You're overreacting. He saw you mad, tried to explain. Dosen't sound like he sought her out to introduce her, just tried to smooth the situation out. would you rather he lie and just say it was an old friend?
I don't think you should have gotten mad - he was perfectly honest.
On the other hand, I think it's whatever they want. If they want to know, tell them, and if not, don't.
This is why I don't eat where I sh*t. Lol
Excuse my French. This situation is totally unavoidable and highly embarrassing/frustrating when you love in the same area as your ex.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
Maybe through the privacy of internet stalking, but face to face meet ups are always awkward, although if it's a friend group or hobby club and they are 'around' it gets easier with time as long as your partner is acting loyal to you.
You're right to be, that's a douchy thing for a guy to do.
I mean, yeah he was trying to pre-answer your potential question about who she was, but that doesn't make it right.
Usually not because everyone has a past and that is were it should stay in the past because it holds no relevance now
I don't think it's inappropriate in your case. I do think it's inappropriate if they go on social media and show you who they pulled in the past though.
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