I need help with crazy relationships!!! So confused....wanting something you can't have?

ok let me break it down for you...

i am currently in a relationship for about a year and a half now...my boyfriend and I pretty much fight constantly...i try to make him happy and do everything a good girlfriend should do but seems like he doesn't care...i do love him a lot but I know there are better guys out there that would treat me right...i don't know why I stick around...i see other people in relationships laugh and have fun and I want that...ok now the other side of the story...there is this other guy that I have know since I was in the sixth grade, but we lost track of each other and about 3 years ago caught back up and hung out a couple times, I was single he has a girlfriend and nothing happened, then we stopped talking again and now the past couple months has been texting me, and since I had a boyfriend I didn't say anything back because I knew my boyfriend would be upset, well I texted him back recently and we hung out one night and he has a girlfriend now also(not the same one as before) they have only been dating for a couple months, we talked and he is an amazing friend and guy, and now we talk pretty much everyday, well I wasnt expecting to like him now as much as I do, we get along great and it sucks because he has a gf, but he tells me he likes me but doesn't want to leave his girlfriend because he isn't ready to leave her and he is happy with her right now...and I know I have a boyfriend but like I said I know their is better out their, and I'm not the type to tell him to break up with his girl I respect him, but now I like him...so what do you do? he makes me laugh and smile and that's what I want, he said if they would break up he would def. date me but he doesn't like me like that yet to leave his girl...so do I just wait to see what happens? I feel like we kinda always had a thing for each other but just never did anything about it now is it to late? I don't know what to do because I think about him all the time and I know I would be so happy with him, it sucks wanting something you can't have! and he is pretty much the one always texting me, which makes it even harder, So help, what do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone, especially females, always want what they can't have.

    I think you've already made up your mind about what to do with your guy friend.

    If you haven't the answer is clear, but I do think you need to let him know how you feel he's treating you, and if you don't get any results, you should break it off.

    What you'd have to do is build resentment. Explore each thing that you feel is a negative in your relationship, and think of them all together. Remember these things, and approach him with them. Based on his answer, either forgive and forget, or forget and let go.

    If you feel unappreciatied, you'll never be happy.

    I understand why the other guy is hesistant on leaving his girlfriends...

    It kinda feeds from the line:

    "Never leave the one you love, for someone you like, because the one you like will not leave the one they love."

    Sometimes being single is for the best. So you will not have that heavy conscience about who your cheating on. About whos not treating you right. Your not married, let him go!

    Also, remember if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you...

    Good Luck,

    & I hope this helps!


    A Loving Black Man


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What Guys Said 2

  • lol ok so I'm a guy and I LOVE being single, I've been single for two years and for the most part it rocks...I can talk to, flirt, make out, make love to ANY girl that like me back...I don't have to hide things and I'm most of all FREE! so break up with the guy and just date around until the other "cooler" guy breaks up with his girlfriend or something.

    • I know, and you know what the thing is when I was single for about a year and a half I had so much fun, and its like I just need that time to get over it and move on and I will be fine but I'm just afraid to go through that right now because I don't want to feel like shit, but I know it gunna happen....and this other guy I don't know what to do I mean I really like him and I want to wait but I'm like killing myself because all I do is think about this guy and want to hang out wit him but I can't ever see him.....sigh

  • dump him


What Girls Said 2

  • If your boyfriend doesn't make you happy, dump him. It's life. Harsh I know but true. You can wait for this other guy but enjoy being single in the process. Talk to anyone do what you want and not have to worry about a jealous boyfriend getting on your butt all the time. I had one of those types. Couldn't stand it.

  • First of all you need to leave your man... you can;t just stay with him because you don't want to be single and you wanna wait and see what happens with this other guy it is not fair to your bf. I think you should break up with him if you are really unhappy with him whether you have someone waiting for you or not when you get out of your relationship with him. and you're are right... there are millions of other men out there that are better at relationships and that would treat you better... life is too short to sell yourself short... even if you are single for a while it will give you a chance to date around (not sleep around) but date around with different guys and figure out what exactly you want.

    • I know, I don't know why I have a problem with being single, its just being single is boring sometimes I guess lol and I know its not healthy and sucks I wish I didn't have that problem, how can I be ok being single??? I also really want to be with this guy, I can't stop thinking about him! I just hate being patient and wondering if I will ever have a chance with him :(

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    • I am actually reading this book called codependent no more and I hope it gives me a lot of insight about why I have this problem, I mean how will I know when that right someone comes along I'm so confused! I just wish I could let life happen and trust what is going to happen

    • Its one of those things that you know it when you know...... I think a self help book could really do alot... you might figure out why you depend on men to make you happy.... understanding why you do this is the first step to fixing it because when you understand why you are doing this you understand yourself a little bit more and figure something out about yourself you didn't know... hopefully the book will help let me know how it goes.... then you can set little goals for yourself to help