He won't move out of his parents house

My boyfriend is nearing his 26th birthday, and he still lives at home with his parents. He was born in Russia, and I know that it is their culture to live at home for longer than I was raised here in America, but I am starting to get worried. I love him a lot but he seems like he has no desire to be independent, and I don't want to have to "take care" of him like his mother does. Whenever I bring it up, he keeps saying that he is saving money to buy a house as he doesn't want to rent, but he has more than enough for a down payment on a sizable place. How can I bring it up in a way that won't make him defensive and show him that I am only looking out for his best interests?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Loving someone means respecting their culture, and their financial status. He ma have enough for the down payment, but for the morgagge?

    He may have secuirity issues from living in tumultuus times in Russia. Don't press him on this and don't expecthim to think the way you do. He won't accept it and you could lose him.

    • according to him, he has every thing he needs to live independently. My concern is that he doesn't have the drive to be independent, which makes me wonder if he will ever want to lead his own life without his parents (Im not condoning the love of his family, just think that at some point, he should want to do things for himself)

    • His viewpoint is way different from yours and you need to accept that. It's his whole background, not just his personal take on independence.

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What Guys Said 4

  • He explained his plan to you, and he is moving along down that path... It's not just about a down payment, he'll have to make payments, pay for insurance, water/electric, furnish the place, maintain his new home, pay taxes, etc. I don't know his financial situation, but he does. He knows what he wants and is trying to get there. Let him do his thing.

  • He knows what's best for himself. Back home, the young ones stay home until they're married or settle down. Let him do him, the fact that he already has money ready for a house means he's responsible already.

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  • Or maybe he just doesn't want to live with you yet ?

    • lol he has been begging me to move in with him when he gets a place

    • Show All
    • Haha, you know, guys... I know a couple of friends, they weren't married yet. She wanted a kid. He asked her to be his wife and they got married, just to buy 2 years ;)

    • haha when you put it that way it makes sense!

What Girls Said 1

  • Umm. I think he needs to move out. I have dated eastern European men before and their mothers tend be overly mothering in the sense that they do almost everything for them, even when they become adults. They cook for them, do their washing Ect. He has it easy it at home (I'm guessing!) he needs to grow up and move out. For me personally, I would find this a major turn off that he still WANTS to live with his parents at 26. What is the line between waiting too long to become an independent adult and making a responsible financial decision...?

    • Alot of cultures the families stay together. 3 generations. this is really bigoted. you sound ignorant & rediculous. its his life, hell move out when he sees fit.

    • Yes, clearly he'll move out when he sees fit. Please remember the whole point of these forums is so you can access a variety of different opinions. If we all had the same view, then why bother asking? I am speaking from my experience and from my personal preferences in a man. I like a man who seeks independence and if financially able, would rather live independently from his parents. That is me. You may seek a man who likes to live at home. That is you.

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