My boyfriend of one year decided to ask for a job transfer to another state 1000 miles away and his company said yes. The pay will be no better and the job title is the same. We are in our 50's but both act and look quite a bit younger. We have been exclusive for a year and he tells me he loves me, that I am the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life. However, he did not consult with me about this move at all, one day he just called me and said he got the job transfer and that I could come with him if I wished, but irregardless he is moving. He didn't ask me to marry him, nor did he wish to get engaged. If I move I would give up my job, my home, my friends, my 18 year old son who does not wish to move there because he doesn't want to lose his friends and his life here. If I leave my job to move with him, I will lose my health insurance and my pension because I am not fully vested with my pension for another 7 years. He is not asking me to marry him so I can get on his insurance policy and I don't have a job in the area he is moving to. The job market is not good in this country and trying to find a new job at my age seems difficult. I'm losing this man to his move and I don't know what to do because I am afraid to make that move with him without the security of his love and commitment and a job. He didn't even sell his house, he decided to rent it instead so he won't be able to buy another house in the new state. My question is...what's in this move for me and if he loved me like he said he does how can he move 1000 miles away without consulting with me first?