Please help!! Does he mean it when he says "I want you", "I care about you", etc.?

I have my own opinions but I just felt like asking the world out there...

I'm in a long-distance friends with benefits relationship right now (if that's even possible). It didn't use to be long distance; we just recently got separated. I switched schools for a semester. But we've been fwb's for almost a year and a half now. Recently, 2 weeks ago, he's told me he cares about me through FB (facebook). We had this misunderstanding and I thought he didn't but he did and told me he does care about me, I just think too much about things, that's all. Which I won't even deny because I kind of do. lol.

And when I went up to visit school again most recently which was a few days ago, (havent been there since around Valentines day) I'd texted him and asked if he'd wanted to hang out. He told was going to a party for his best friends party that night. I didn't reply. 15 minutes later he texts me again and said yea, he wanted me though. Hadn't seen me in a while, forgot how I kissed. Wow.

See, we've had a pretty much only sexual relationship. In fact he doesn't want a relationship til he's out of school. Whether with me period or anyone else for that matter, I don't know. He graduates in May, think's I'm really kewl, etc. I've even asked him what kept him around for so long and he was honest. Both me and the sex, but mostly the sex. That was back in January, during winter break. After that I'd stopped talking to him. Then two weeks later, he starts IMing me and texting me again. And he knew I wasn't coming back for the spring semester. Why would he still talk to me if it was just sex keeping him around?

He already knows I like him in that way. I've told him and this is the first time he's been voicing any feelings for me. I definitely noticed changes in him since January. He's more conversational for one. He's nicer. When I went up for Valentines Day, I saw him but did not chill with him and he noticed. The day I leave, V-Day, he asks me if I went home and wishes me a Happy Valentines day. Day after, he IMs me again to just talk, mentioned still how surprised he was that I came up to visit and didn't tell him and wanted me to let him know next time I came. Do fwb's do that?! Have I told you this has been a year plus since we started messing? Just wanted to know if this is a sign we're moving somewhere towards seriousness or something, or what he could be feeling.

And also what are the different meanings behind "I like you", "I care for/about you", "I want you" and "I love you"? And for guys, would you say these things if you didn't mean them? I just want to know if he meant it. I don't want to put myself in a spot where I'm vulnerable...


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  • You already are in a vulnerable spot. I think that he really does like the sex but he's being honest about liking it more than you. He still talks to you because he does care about you as a friend. That's the problem with FWB relationships, trying to find out exactly where you stand is very challenging. If you have feelings you should really stop having sex with him because it can lead to some very hurt feelings.

    "I like you" : I like the sex I can get from you and your friendship

    "I care about you": I care about the sex we have. Again, your friendship is a bonus

    "I love you": I have love for you (I'm not in love with you)

    • Thanks for your answer. I really appreciate it and agree with you 100%. It's crazy. He was my first FWB, pretty much my first everything. Kiss, sex....not boyfriend of course. Still haven't had that first yet. It's going to be hard letting him go.