Now he is going out with other girls and saying because I was not there. What should I do?

I was in a relationship with a guy for about 2-1/2 years.. He is my colleague and now I got transfer to another city.. Its being 5 months even we can't see each other..But still we talk of the day we meet again...He is a straight forward person..He never stops saying anything for me.. Now he is going out with other girls and saying because I was not there.. I can't able to bear that words when he says that he was going out with other girls.. May be I am in love with him.. But due to religious problems our parents will never accept our marriage and even I am not sure will he marry he.. But I know he likes me.. What should I do.. I tried many times to stop talking to him, but he never let me go.. But I can be in relationship knowing that he was also with others.. Please help me should I say him what I feel.. If he rejects than just I can't bear.. Please help me.. What should I do..


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have a friend, her biggest life regret is moving away from her fiance whom she was unable to marry due to religious differences / problems.

    I can't state clearly enough, that if you let work or religion dictate your heart you will come to regret it unless you completely and utterly have faith and belief in those things to the point where you trust in them over your own heart. That is something rare.

    My friend, she moved away because she couldn't deal with staying around the problem. Now, I have my personal oppinion but as hers is somewhat more "informed by circumstance" ill let you know that she regrets moving away. Regrets the outcome (he married someone else and now has his own family) and she is now living her life in what (to me) is a most strange and highly practicalised manor (since she already met the person she's now convinced was / is the love of her life so she's trying to find a new way to decide whos right, which is sad IMO).

    Serious s**t.

    Now, my oppinon is, that this guy was pretty useless. It was him and his religious obsession keeping them apart and refusing to see my friend for her and her own needs. He's not a bad guy, he's just messed up by religion. Having faith is a good thing, but you either need to put complete faith in faith or put complete faith in fate/love. Trying to split things causes a mess.

    Decide what you want to believe in (think it through) and go with it, do so by thinking everything out, know the arguments for and against and be ready to believe wholely in whatever you choose (know why you choose it and make the reason one which will stand up to any storm.. make it something REAL).. and remember if you choose something or someone mortal, make _certain_ they are worth your faith. A god letting someone down is bad, but you can always find a different way to see things...

    Its a big ask.

    Now.. if he is voulentarily seeing other girls, and you have said nothing which suggests your relatioship will not be going places (e.g. Marriage/Children/Together Forever just the two of you in the romantic vain) not given any indication you feel less for him. Then he cannot really seriously be deeply caring for you as he would not wish to hurt you. Even if its happening by "mistake" because you have been away, it should be spuring him to try and arrange getting together with you.

    If you haven't been giving him the "this is serious" signals, or you've been unsure yourself. Then its fair enough. You need to decide where you stand, and by the sounds your very involved to the point you wish to continue in a mutal partnership exclusive of third parties.

    So to sum up... decide where your at first and foremost. Second, communicate clearly and unequivicably to him your position (e.g. be vunerable, part of love is taking a big risk of being hurt) and lastly, make plans to be together in a ongoing way if you find your both serious / commited.

    Him seeing other girls is a real bad sign.

    Wishing you luck.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Find another guy as soon as possible..

    well you can't torture yourself like this for long time because it'll hurt you eventually in the end...

    If he really loved you then he never went out with other girls or even he went ,he wouldn't tell you that..sounds like he's really moved on...don't attach anymore and find a new guy that you can trust..

    and don't do anything against your parent's will..because they'll never leave you alone even if you're broken , unlike this dude..!


    • Thanks for the suggestion.. I tried it but even he won't let me do it.. He will be calling like mad if I don't talk to me.. I am not able to know whether he likes me or not..

    • Show All
    • Don't ever think that he's the only one that understands you...and if he believes in casteism then leave him alone...because he's treating you like an option and whenever he'll get a better opportunity he'll not afraid to lose you because of fear of his parents... love is unconditional..find another guy who is unconditional.

    • k.. thanks

  • I'll be blunt, he does have a point. People need contact. LDR isn't for everyone.


What Girls Said 1

  • Just let things happen, if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be...

    • Hoping so.. But how many days I can be in a confusing mode

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