How do you decide you want a fling or something serious with someone?

How do you decide you want a fling or something serious with someone?

What if you know you will be around this person beyond the fling...would you still choose to have a fling?

Does having a fling with someone usually result from you just wanting to have fun temporarily?

Why do people choose to have flings instead of serious relationships? Something to do with age?

If you are looking for a fling, do you tell the other person first?

How can you differentiate fling from a relationship?

Are you expected to see them all the time during the fling?

What about keeping in contact during the fling? Everyday expected or is that what you do for relationships only?

Do 2 people usually verbally agree that something is a fling before starting it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm, I usually go for flings more often because they are not what I perceive as quality.

    Anyway, from the first conversation I give my undivided attention to a guy and ask them to express themselves to me. That's my test. That is where I analyze him..its sort of like a job interview for what position he will have in my life. If he fails, he might never see or speak with me again and if he passes...we develope a relationship. Now, that relationship can go in 4 different direction.

    1) we could be good friends

    2) we could be lovers

    3) we could be friends with benefits

    4) we could be casual/ acquaintance type of friends

    Things that contribute to my decisions are looks, ambition, placement in life atm, personality, behavior, common interest...etc

    If I don't seem to find you at least somewhat attractive...we can't be lovers or have any benefits because I can't and won't force myself to do intimate things with you. It would creep me out. So definitely...believe you are already put in the friend category. Now if you are giving me tthe I have no ambition, f*** life are definitely placed in the bye zone.

    I will elaborate more on cellphone sucks at typing on gag.

    If I don't find you somewhat attractive


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What Girls Said 7

  • hmmm...I'm assuming you mean no strings attached when you say fling. That would mean no expectations what ever you want to do you do. If you want to see that person you call them and ask, if you don't you don't call and no one should get mad because there are no expectations.

    I personally have never went into something knowing that it was going to be just a fling. I guess once you come to the realization that it really isn't going anywhere in the relationship department then you make the decision whether to continue it or not. It's best to make sure the other person is on the same page so no one gets hurt. Figuring this out sooner than later is good for all.

    I don't know why someone would go into it set out to have a fling...maybe to avoid being hurt or because they don't want to have expectations of them to let someone down. I can only think if you go into something with your mind made up before hand then you may miss out on something because you limited yourself.

    I would say a relationship is basically feeling some sort of responsibility towards the other person, caring, wanting to be with them more often than not etc...

  • Flings are all I do anymore. I just got out of a relationship, and now that I'm out I can see what a waste of time it was.

    I've had flings with guy friends before, and I still love them to death and associate with them on a regular basis. Generally, yes, my flings are fast and physical. And yes, I'm always open with guys about what I'm willing to give.

    As far as staying in touch goes, it's pretty lax. There aren't a lot of expectations. Most people reserve heavy stuff like that for relationships.

  • I have never decided what something is before it starts. I've never started a relationship, of any sort, thinking this is only a fling/i'm going to marry this guy. I take it as it is and see where it goes. But I do believe if you only want a fling you should tell the other person involved.

  • For me, I look at how attracted to them I am, and I look at if I can introduce him to my family. I also look at what he wants out of life, and look at his beliefs.

    • I see. But what are some reasons why you would choose to have a fling knowing that it will not go anywhere? Isn't it better just not to be in a relationship at all so you keep yourself open to the better one?

    • Ohhhh. I like flings because its JUST a fling. So if someone better or more exciting or just someone who fits me, then I haven't Spent the previous time by myself. I can still have sex or go to the movies or have dinner WITH someone :)

  • 1) Based on timing

    2) NO

    3) It's bumping only

    4) Nothing to do with age

    5) It's obvious if it's just a fling, both people already know

    6) Fling people meet up for sex. Relationship people live together, share expenses, make plans, eat together, take each other to the doctor's, celebrate birthdays or whatever, try to make each other happy. Fling is basically a few one night stands

    7) Nope

    8) Nope

    @ Update: Depends on the situation. Usually it's obvious to both people that it's a fling.

  • lol your so cute, so many ?'s. so I take it slow, regardless if it is going to be something serious or not. coming on too strong is not ideal, but neither is no contact either. so expect to see them no more than once a week, probably every other week. I keep in contact every four days or so, very light, flirty, and casual just to let them know your thinking about them, etc.

    as for when your with them, the worst is to be out with someone who always wants to talk about where this is going instead of just enjoying time together. keep everything light and don't talk about anything serious until the 3rd 'date' or so. girls tend to bring it up more anyways, so you can let her come to u.

    usually sex within the first couple times you hang out is guaranteed fling, and hanging out without sex usually has more potential for something a little more serious. I'm assuming your a little more mature, in your 20's and you both have jobs or school to keep you busy.

    I hope this helped a lil. :)

  • I don't have flings just because I don't feel comfortable with them and because for me it is just awkward. One of the reasons that I would never have a fling, is because of the awkwardness that would result from it afterward. I am not the kind of person that doesn't care about having to face people that I have done things with and pretend that they never happened or that it doesn't affect me.


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