What do you do when your boyfriend seems like he's losing interest?

It's so complicated with us because his dad doesn't like me and told him he'd kick him out if he didn't stop dating me. Well now we're doing a secret dating type of thing and it's not what I want at all. He didn't stand up for me to his dad. And I've been really upset over everything because I never did anything or said anything towards his dad that would make it okay to hate me and come into his son and my relationship. Now our relationship is rocky at best. I used to be the number one thing in his life and now I feel as if I've been put on the back burner. He says that him figuring out a way for us to hang out once a week is his proof that he's trying but usually I come up with the idea he just has to leave his house. Which with the excuses we've got to use isn't a problem AT ALL. He used to call me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and now the only way we talk on the phone is if I call him. He says I worry too much and whenever we have problems I want to see results in a week to 2 weeks and that that's asking too much. Why is that asking too much? When all I want is him to pay attention to me but he needs a month or more to get himself together to be able to do that? I just don't understand anymore. I love him to death and I know he loves me he's just not in love with me anymore. And I don't know what to do. I just need a lot of advice in this situation. Someone please guide me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly, he needs to tell his father to get over himself and allow you two to be happy.

    He does not spend enough time with you and this could be the main reason for the "lack of interest". My girlfriend and I went through a rocky patch recently and it had to do with her thinking I was not interested anymore. I have never stopped loving her and I am and always have been interested in her. We didn't see each other enough and that casued all the issues. I see her more now and it makes the world of diffirence. If you think that you must spend hours together every day, you are wrong. I spend 20min with her everyday and every other day we spend a few hours together. Weekends, well I'm with her the entire time.

    It is up to you at the end of the day. If you can not get past the dad story or your boyfriend does not want to cause issues with his dad, then I am sorry to say, your relationship is not going to get better. I promise you, a father has more influence than you think. Use it, don't use it...

    • Thanks it's nice to get some advice from someone who has been through the same type of thing with the lack of interest...maybe it's a girl thing. I like to be told over and over again why someone loves me. And my boyfriend feels that if he's said it before than that's the only time he needs to say it. But I just like to hear it. That's one of the couple of reasons we've been going through a rough patch. I just can't tell what is too much and what I want to have in a relationship. ughhh

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Woah, wait a minute - daddy drama isn't just a girl thing. Hell, I've had forty years of intense father issues. So don't take it lightly that he's going against his father's wishes with you.

    On the other hand, he's not really doing too much if what you say is true, about working on things.

    Right now, you need to examine one thing. Are your expectations realistic?

    Do you think he will be able to be the man you need, if he is either drifting away (which is what it sounds like) or his family situation is so demanding your future with him will be controlled by it?

    Are you putting so much into it because you expect a return on your investment, a level of commitment he can make even with his family problems?

    Examine whether you're paying into a broken piggy bank here.

  • well just in my opinion, family is number one and the girl is number 2 until a certain point depending how long you been dating, he may not be the assertive type, but he shows he cares. if this isn't going anywhere in a month or two. I'd say move on. don't put all your eggs in one basket ok?

    • I definitely agree on family being number one normally. His situation is very abnormal though. His father has physically abused him in the past and doesn't support him doing anything that he wants to do. We've been together for about a year and a half. and yeah, he shows he cares sometimes it's just that other times I feel so neglected. And I don't know how to express that to him without sounding nagging and annoying. And we're coming up on a month and a half with the situation the way it is

    • yes, I was physically abused to, but yeah it can be out of fear or he can't financially support himself, whther he wants to call his dads bluff or not. what happens happens. just to let you know, typically women tend to "muscle" guys into doing something. such as "we've been dating for 2 months and I think its time to blah blah" but men don't really do this. just broaden your understanding about his perception. maybe you can compare his situation to girlfriend/abusive boyfriend. theyre scared and freeze

  • The advice you will get you will dismiss, because this relationship is showing limited interest from him. Guys could not leave it a month, we would need to know all is good, so for him to not bother for a month proves limited interest and that he's not really that into you. So you either need to demand more from him, or cut your loses and move on and make room for a guy who will prove his worth to you,x

    • He tells me I ask for too much all of the time. I don't know if it's me wanting too much or him just trying to barely scrape by or if it's a mixture of each. But I feel like whenever I have a problem and I let him know what it is, he basically says I need to work on that fact that I have a problem in the first place. It just never solves anything..he's a stubborn guy and I think that plays into it sometimes...idk

  • That's weird I've never heard of a father telling a son to not date someone or you get kicked out of the house...

    Sounds like your boyfriend using his dad as a excuse or you may give off the "bad egg" vibe

    I don't know the whole situation but that's what I picked up from your story

    What you should do? If you can't put up with his situation you can always leave

    If a girl did this with me, and made no effort to be with me I would just move on

    Hope that helpd!

    • Oh no, his dad is the type to be like that. His dad doesn't like me because I'm not from a wealthy family and I'm not his dad's type. (His dad likes blondes who are very tiny and I'm brunette and curvy. His dad is...rough to say the least. My boyfriend hasn't left yet because he has everything with his dad. His vehicle, his phone, his job, his house, his food, his video game addiction, everything is covered because his dad has money...I just don't know what I should do. I don't want to make himchoose

  • Get a loan?

    ... Oh, sorry I misre-... You know, the... S-Sorry...


What Girls Said 2

  • If you're not happy being on the back burner,end it.Find someone else who will make you more of a priority.He's treating you like this because sadly you're allowing it.That's about it.

    Good luck.

    • Thank you for your advice! Your right...it's just really challenging to find a "Mr. Perfect". I just always feel like I should make it work with him because no one's perfect but I can't define the line of acceptable and worth the effort...if that makes sense.

    • That's the START of your problems...thinking a Mr.Perfect exists.NO ONE is perfect.So work on a erasing that delusionmSecondly,you have the complete power and authority to change what's happneing here.People can ONLY treat you how you allow them to.We TRAIN people how to treat us.Therefore,learn to define what's acceptable and what's not.From the outside looking in,ALL of this is unacceptable.But...only you can change it.

  • Tell him about it ask him where its goingm what he wants from this


Loading... ;