i was deeply in lve with this guy we were together for 11/2 yrs. he left me bcuz i wont have sex with him. i was raped 4 times and b4 the relationship i told him that i wouldnt have s** until i am married bcuz i still am not over the horrific incident tht happend in the past. i still had nightmares. he told me he would wait...also he was going to convert for me, promised me so many things but as time passed all he tried to do whole yr nd half long was to try to get me to have s** with him. he would pressure me to do things and i would get flashbacks and nightmares bcuz of the things he would ask me to do make me do. we were in the same colll. i graduated and moved and after 3 months me moving to another town, i visited him 4 times, those 4 times i didnt do anything with him he left me saying he wast going to waste his life after someone like me. he said i was never going to get better and he is too good of a catch to wait for me. he went and slept with another girl. now they are together. i feel so used, heartbroken, hurt i did alot for this guy put myself thru alot of pain all along but nothing of it mattered. he left me like i never existed. all along i trusted him loved him but he just turned to a completely different person. now that i reflect back to the relationship i realize he wouldnt do anything foir me on valentines day or anything romantic bcuz it wouldnt lead to s**. all i wanted was to be loved and develop that strong bond. physical aspect of the relation ship would fall in place intime. he said i was selffish for asking him to wait. he would swear on my life and break his swore about little things. i feeel so so hurt i cant describe in words. he ruined everything for me. i dont know what to do. i dont have anything against the girl dont hate her nor am i jealous of her but i am amazed at how he changed in 3 mnths it like he was waiting for me to leave so that he would do this. his explanation for wanting s** so bad wa bcuz his roomates and neighbors did it and he wanted to do it to. he used to call me his wife lead me on so much and then left me and did everything he said he wouldnt. i always knew he was going to do this but he would swear and swear that he wouldnt cheat wouldnt leave me and be understanding towards my situation but he didnt. dont know what to do.. how to change the way i feel. im hurt. i dont i know how i feel what i hurt for but i hurt alot. he was my frst love. its like he never loved me ... you guys ans me aare you really like that s** is so imp that you would leave someone who has been nothing but loyal and nce to you and leave them for sex and sleep with the very first girl who is ready to sleep with you? did he lve me? he said that girl does everything i did and more, hw does he not realize what i did for him was so hard for me but i did it for him.