Search Results: Are they a good match

I have had at least 75 first dates as a result of online dating, and a few were horrible (pictures not current, lied about age, etc.) Most of them weren't that awful, but we just weren't a good match. When I got some experience with rejecting a lady, I eventually decided that the best thing to do was to walk the lady back to her car, no good night kiss, no hug, tell her that I enjoyed meeting her, she seems like a nice lady, but I don't think we're a good match and I wished her good luck with her search. That stopped any expectations from developing and avoided the appearance of misleading her in any way. Maybe that isn't how she wanted to hear that message, but I thought it was better than taking the easy way out by texting or simply not calling her again.

If you were the lady on one of those first dates, how and when would you want that message conveyed to you? If you were the guy, how do you think that message should be delivered?

(Yes, I know that it isn't entirely up to me to decide whether to have a second date; a woman can reject me after the first date, and I have had that experience. I'm just asking about this from a guy's perspective. If you want to ask about how a girl should reject a guy, you can post your own question.)

Kristen Bell is a fairly close match to the physical characteristics I would list for my "ideal" woman. However, in my entire life, I have only dated three girls who bore any resemblance at all to this ideal. I have been attracted to many other women who were not petite blondes with a cute face and smaller features. I have dated women who were in my life, who were attractive, who were kind and pleasant, and I had many satisfactory experiences with those women who weren't ideal, but they were great in their own ways.

So how often have you dated someone who actually fit the specifications for your ideal partner?

I posted a pic of a model tinder and I matched with some below average/ugly looking women too. Like how do they think they’re good enough and then opening conversations?

Whether you’re a guy or girl you’ve got to understand what you look like.

NOT everything is about looks. But common.

This is why dating is difficult - girls think the sun shines out of their ass

My sister had a Cinderella complex and a very low opinion of herself after her boyfriend if about 4 years dumped her.

She dated two guys who were not really good people. They treated her like the best thing that ever happened to them, because she was. This eventually fixed her complex an restored her self-esteem (therapy also helped). Now she's dating a much better guy.

Have you ever dated someone who helped you get out of your own issues, but wasn't a good match for you?

There have been a few times in my life where I dated women who had “school girl” crushes on me. However they later quickly bailed when they got to know the real me.

I am not a psycho or anything. I am definitely a deep thinker and can be sensitive about things. I got some depression but I’ve always been independent both financially and emotionally. I get support from friends but I know it’s ultimately up to me to fix my own issues.

Anyway I’ve improved on how showed my lesser sides to women as I have gotten older. Gotten better at being careful about what emotions I will show women vs. which ones I’ll keep a lid on. Especially when it comes to insecurities

But I can remember dating a few women in the past who were initially head over heels for me because of the fantasy they had in their head about who they thought I was. Sure it felt good initially. They often pursued me and made dating easy. No problem getting laid in that scenario (usually their idea). They also would act seemingly supportive and tolerant of my personality. But this always ended bad. Very bad. One girl ghosted me after dating for 9 f*cking months. And all while I was dating I was aware they might just be daydreaming only to do a 180 later when their “emotions” changed.

But there have been a few women I pursued just to discover issues with them later that was less than pleasant. It was a turn off but I never did a quick 180 immediately just because they didn’t match up to the original image I had of them in my head.

In my experience, younger people do not often go on a first date and say, "I'm really looking for someone who is a good match for me so we can settle down and get married." I guess the thinking is that such a declaration would scare the living bejeezus out of your date and they'd run for the exit.

BUT. . . if your date feels that they aren't ready for marriage, wouldn't it be better to discover that now, rather than after you have been dating for three months and started falling for him/her? Do you talk about your dating goals on a first or second date?

To be honest most of them are very cute girls, two of the five Tinder girls I have matched with are blue-checked, and so is one of the two Bumble girls I have matched with. All of them are within the 20-to-90-mile range and are aged 18 to 22. Two more girls (including a bisexual one) swiped right on me but I swiped left on those ones. I swiped left on the "woman" on Bumble who definitely looked like a hairless man.