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My husband and I have been together for 12 years; since he was 21 and I was 19. We started out as best friends and within 6 months we were living together and in a serious relationship (the first and only serious one in my whole life). We used to be so close and now I feel like I'm just here to cook, clean, take care of the kids, and have sex with him whenever he wants it. I've told him that I feel like he doesn't care about me anymore and he just gets angry and treats me like a bitch for telling him how I feel. He has a life outside of the home; work, friends etc. I have nothing. I have no friends and my life revolves around being a homemaker. Any time I try to make friends he automatically hates them and then I am treated like a fool because they don't meet his standards. I have no family within 300 miles and anytime someone comes to visit he acts like he wants them gone as soon as they get here. He treats them horrible (disrespectful and rude) and I've always been friendly with his friends (even the ones I really don't like).
I feel like this relationship is a joke sometimes. Like people are looking at me like I'm an idiot for staying with him. When we fight (which is rare actually) he always says he'll try harder but the next day it's like nothing ever happened and things go back to the way they were. He expects me to do whatever he wants (and yeah I do it) but he can't even listen to me when I ask him to bring home milk and bread from the store. It can even be something extremely important and it's like he won't listen for even five minutes. He forgets stuff as soon as I'm done talking to him. I feel unloved and VERY unappreciated and he doesn't give a crap. He says he does but he keeps doing the same thing over and over again. I've even thought about leaving him because I feel like more of a maid/nanny than his wife. But he's also very jealous and possessive of me; said once he'd shoot me if I tried to leave him. I don't know what to do. I feel trapped and very alone

For the past couple of months I've been having some friendly contact with a guy. Although he sometimes seems to be keeping his distance, he is contrarily the one to keep the conversation going and shows interest in my life. Even after the parking lot has gone empty, we often still remain a little while longer to talk.

Last night, we were hanging out at the gym and while I was talking to him, he suddenly grabbed onto the punching bag hanging beside us, and started dry-humping it. It caught me off guard, and he could clearly see the surprise on my face. We laughed about it then he jokingly mentioned he could see the surprise in my eyes.

Right afterwards, while we were still in our conversation, he started taking off his shirt, then changed into different clothes. Although I have seen more men changing while in conversation, it was very odd to me he'd do this right after he had his little... moment with the punching bag.

When we left, he mentioned he thought of me as an odd person. Then joked about being odd himself. Asked for my age and was surprised to learn I was younger than he'd imagined.

Thing is, what surprised me most by these acts and interactions is that this man is in a relationship and I do not have the sense that he is in any way interested or attracted to me. Would it be an extreme level of comfort or should I be a little more concerned? Lol.