Search Results: How can I forgive her and myself

My parents sanctioned me because they thought I was suicidal (the psych evaluation showed that I wasn't). But since I got out I can't go a week without contemplating suicide or a month without resorting to some form of self harm to alieve the mental pain. I have flashbacks constantly and the pain is unbearable. The worst part of it is that my parents have the nerve to lie and say that it broke their hearts to do it. If it did, then they shouldn't have done it in the first place; it's that simple. I hope that they die a slow and painful death. What many have said is that even killing myself wouldn't be enough to make them regret it. However, when I was sanctioned I was an underachiving D student but since then (when I was 16) I pulled my grades up to get into a reputable university. I graduated the University with high honors in a STEM field and I was recently accepted into a Tier 1 PhD program in that field, but now the desire to end my life now to make a point is stronger than ever because they would be forced to face the fact that because they weren't willing to risk the life of the underachieving version of their son they now lost the overachieving version. And I think that if other parents who fear that their teens may be suicidal hear about this it will fill their hearts with fear and they will think twice before committing their son or daughter. Does anyone else feel this way?

G@G, before you remove this question and direct me to the suicide hotline, know that I said that I WANT to do these things, NOT that I plan on actually DOING them, so don't waste your time.