Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
The flood gates of hell had burst and Satan himself emerged. "OH MY GOD." is all he could mutter.
This guy and girl had been dating, and she invited him back to her place. Neither of them have had sex before so it was a big deal. Things started to get hot and while they where making out he suddenly had a deep throbbing pain in his rectum. Turns out he has this bowel condition that gives him severe constipation for days, so when he needs to go, he REALLY needs to go. He could of said his love for her was like diarrhoea, that he could not hold it in, but instead he politely excused himself to the upstairs bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, it started. He unleashed a massive whale into a very tiny ocean. After noticing the toilet was almost half full, he got up in a panic and repositioned himself over bathtub while simultaneously flushing the toilet for fear that any more would plug it up. It didn't plug, mission 1 accomplished! But, or should I say Butt, it began to hurt to much to get back on the toilet. An even bigger care packaged was dropped... The flood gates of hell had burst and Satan himself emerged. "OH MY GOD." is all he could mutter.
After a few minutes of praying for his life, the pain had subsided. He got up and looked back at what looked like a scene from Saving Private Ryan. When he turned the faucet he noticed the plumbing tools beside the tub, and the lack of flowing water... By now it had been over 15 minutes, and his girlfriend yelled up "don't shower because the taps aren't working". The tub was being replaced and the taps where disconnected. By then half his rank offspring had slid down the drain, but not without leaving a trail. NO! This was not going to stop him from having the best first time ever! His inner Macgyver kicked in and after using a few garbage pales of water from the sink, he managed to rinse the tub. Mission 2 success!
He went back down stairs for him and his girlfriend to start where they left off. They finally got naked but just when he put it in... "drip... drip... drip..." onto his girlfriends chest. No he did not just beat the Guinness record for shortest lasting guy in bed, this dripping was coming from above. It happened to be pouring rain outside so it was thought to be a little leak, no big deal... right? He confidently wiped it off his girlfriends chest, and then it hit him... the smell of his abysmal offspring... they where right under the upstairs bathroom! His girlfriend looked up at the ceiling and screamed in terror at the smell and sight of the growing brown spot.
He realised not only had the taps in the tub been disconnected, but so was the drain pipe and everything went in the ceiling! By then it was to late, the entire upstairs floor had been subjected to something far worse than Noahs flood. In no time he grabbed buckets to catch the leak, but his girlfriend shouted at him to leave immediately!
She avoided his calls for weeks. He could only imagine the aftermath. Finally she got ahold of him and told him she was breaking up with him because "he got shit everywhere." They parted ways, like his inner demons parted her ceiling.
Are you nervous about your first time? I hope Brians story has reduced your nervousness about your first time. And if you have done the deed, was your first time as awkwards as this?
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