A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Preface

This is part 2 you can read part 1 here Sex, sluts and relationships

It has come to my attention that there were obviously some flaws in the way I wrote part 1 but since I am still new at this I ask that you bare with me. I welcome all criticism as long as it has valid reasoning behind it. This myTake will go into far more detail than the previous one and will respond to the most common criticisms of my views.

I would like to thank everyone that liked myTake for their support.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships.

I have decided to get off anonymous posting so that you guys can follow me.

For those of you that are haters I ask that you do not message me if you do not agree with my views.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Let's begin

I'll first start by defining some terms to make sure we are all on the same page.

What is a monopoly?

The exclusive possession or control of something.

Usually this refers to a business but in this case it is the access to sex.

Now let's define sex. It was actually quite difficult to find an all encompasing definition for, since there are many different types of sex so the closest definition I could find is this

Any physical contact between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs

Now as we all know in order for two individuals to have sex, there must be consent.

The definition of consent is this

Give permission for something to happen

In the case of sex, women hold a monopoly over it's access and must give consent in order for a man to receive it since men tend to want sex more.

According to WebMd "The majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day, reports Laumann. Only about one-quarter of women say they think about it that frequently. As men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often".

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Now you're probably thinking "Where are you going with this? Are you saying women should be raped?".

No of cource not!!!!!!!!!!

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Here is where promiscuity comes in.

What is promiscuity?

Promiscuity is having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Promiscuious women fulfil a much needed desire in men which is definitely better than masturbating. Now I'm not saying that these women are doing men a favour by sleeping with them because they ENJOY IT TOO. There are women that are just as horny as men and don't care for the finess of getting someone in bed.

The people that don't care for all this "sex is about love" stuff and just want to enjoy sex are called sociosexually unrestricted.

I'd like to thank @gray_sailor for bringing this to my attention. I hope you don't mind that I copy paste what you wrote since I think you did a really good job explaining it.

What is sociosexual orientation?

Its a person's internally determined attitude toward casual sex.

There are two designations for sociosexual orientation :
- sociosexually restricted
- sociosexually unrestricted

Sociosexually unrestricted individuals:
- start having sex at a younger age
- engage in sexual activity earlier in a relationship
- engage in casual sex
- view sex as a purely physical act (sex is just sex)
- tend to not form attachments with their sexual partners
- have relatively higher partner counts
- have no concern for their partner's number of past partners

Sociosexually restricted individuals on the other hand:
- hold the romantic view of sex (sex is an intimate act with emotional, spiritual & physical components)
- strongly prefer sex inside a committed relationship
- routinely form attachments with their sex partner (and value that this happens)
- regard casual sex as missing something essential
- have relatively low partner counts
- desire that their sexual partners have a similar number of past partners and that they hold the same values with regard to sex

Now here comes the part where I will step on a lot of toes. :P

The sociosexually unrestricted view of sex is the way of the future.

Nowadays women are more open about their sexual desires and tend to have more casual sex partners. This works out to the benefit of both men, who are finally able to get sex without commitment and women who also just want to have fun without being attached to a man. This does not however mean that promiscuous individuals have sex with anyone. Everybody has there own standards on who they will sleep with. This hedonistic life style is exactly what society is moving towards since people are growing tired of being in temporary relationships when they just want sex. This prevents people's feelings from being hurt since both parties know from the start that they are just enjoying the moment.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

The Virginity exception

The only time I believe sex should be viewed as something special is when someone is still a virgin. Sex is a new experience that should take place with someone that is willing to guide you through it and help you improve in the future. Men are more likely to want to lose it as quickly as possible but women get the opportunity sooner. I personally would prefer someone that will show me the ropes and then move onto the next girl instead of going for women when I'm sexually inadequate.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Sociosexual restriction is an antiquated notion used as a form of oppression

Sociosexual restriction has always been forced onto people, whether it be by their family or by their government. From an early age every boy and girl is told that they will one day find that one person whom they will marry and live the rest of their lives with. Both men and women that eventually want to get married take this notion very seriously. There are still quite a bit of people, on GAG especially that are saving themselves for someone special. The main problem with this is that two people's sexual desires and performances are not always compatible. This would lead to resentment from both sides and eventually a divorce.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Here are a few stories from people that were disappointed with waiting till marriage.

I Regret Saving Sex for Marriage

One Story that Shows Why Waiting Until Marriage is a Bad Idea

Sociosexual restriction also was something forced onto people by totalitarian governments. One of the most notable was Maoist China. Today the Chinese are discovering what it means to have sex and that it is more than just procreation. This documentary shows what happens when a society is forced into conforming to the standards of sociosexually restricted individuals.

Physical attraction vs Emotional attraction

This is where the prude sociosexually restricted individuals get confused. The body of every individual is like a work of art, there are many ways to appreciate it but the most common way is to have sex. As a heterosexual man I can tell you that whenever I see a nice pair of breasts or a nice butt that I must resist the urge to touch otherwise I will get into a lot of trouble :D.

Much as I find bacon to be delicious and love to eat it the same goes for someone I'm physically attracted to but not emotionally. I do not have any emotional connection to my food, I just eat it. I would obviously prefer good tasting food, but if I'm hungry I'll eat anything as long as it doesn't taste bad. The same goes with physical attraction. Sex is a physical act between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs. It fulfils a basic urge which allows a man or woman to ejaculate. The emotions behind the act are a social construct and not a natural occurence.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Sidenote: If you insist on commenting on how you find Hooters to be degrading to women. Remember it was their choice to work their and there is a male version as well. The male version is called Tallywackers but I'm pretty sure it's a gay bar.

Loving someone's personality is just another form of attraction. If you have friends (which I'm hoping you do) you will notice that there are personality traits that you like about them, maybe even love about them. Whether it be their sense of humour, confidence, intellect and e.t.c. However you would never date them because they are either of the same-sex or you friend-zoned them for one of many possible reasons.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

The white one says Benevolent.

Everybody searches for someone that they can love for both their body and personality. Sociosexually unrestricted individuals such as myself divide those that only fall into one category as either someone you have sex with or someone you are friends with. This allows for both physical and emotional feelings to be satisfied.

Polyamorous/Open relationships

Sociosexually unrestricted individuals such as myself are more likely to want to be in a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory means many loves. It is the practice of engaging in several emotionally and sexually intimate relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamory differs from adultery because all the partners know about each others' lovers, so there is no secrecy or feeling of betrayal. Polygamy, is unrelated and is often confused as a synonym. Polygamy means being married to more than one person.

An open relationship is a relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others. So by definition polyamory is a type of open relationship, there are several others but in this take I will only discuss polyamory.

Polyamorous couples are very aware of the fact that one partner does not have to be absolutely everything to them because they can go outside a relationship to have their needs fulfilled emotionally or sexually. They are often more open to having other needs fulfilled by other people, instead of defaulting to the kind of codependence that grows between a monogamous couple which places a lot of pressure on both partners to maintain the relationship. Each partner contributes something different whether it be emotionally, sexually or both. Open couples make an effort to have difficult and uncomfortable conversations because there is no room for jealousy in an open relationship. It is vital to identify personal insecurities and fears and take responsibility for each others feelings.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

Players, a result of sociosexual restriction

Players are men or women who seek casual sex but go about getting it through manipulation of sociosexually restrictied individuals. They are very experienced and know exactly what to say to get into someone's pants.

Take Barney Stinson for example, specifically the part where he says "I wish I could marry commitment" and the ending of the video. Barney is not the commitment type, his relationships and sexual adventures in the tv show How I Met Your Mother clearly demonstrate that. What he does to have sex with a woman is immoral in my opinion since it hurts the feelings of the women that are against casual sex. The counter of his sexual conquests in this video is a bit off since it sometimes counts a woman twice.

Players exist because if they were upfront about their intentions they would never get laid. The video below is a social experiment in which a man asks 100 girls for sex. All of them say no, which leads men especially to believe that the only way to have casual sex is by manipulating a girl.

Now when a woman did the same thing she had positive responses. There were still a lot of men that were opposed to having casual sex, but not as many as women.

Common responses from the previous myTake

Women have a lot more to lose since they can get pregnant and/or get STDs/STIs

The reason most women are against casual sex is because they feel like they have a lot more to lose while a man can just move onto the next woman.

To this I have a very simple response

CONDOMS USE THEM

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

In a two-year study of sero-discordant couples (in which one partner was HIV-positive and one was HIV-negative), no uninfected partner became infected among couples using condoms correctly and consistently at every act of vaginal or anal sex versus 10 percent of those using condoms inconsistently.

According to the CDC, when used consistently and correctly, latex condoms are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV and many other STDs/STIs. The effectiveness if used correctly is about 97%.

You can also always ask your partner to get tested for STDs/STIs in order to be 100% certain that you won't catch anything.

Condoms are also 98 percent effective in preventing pregnancy when used correctly, every time.

Another thing that prevents pregnancy is taking birth control pills.

According to WebMD "when taken correctly, it is up to 99.9% effective.".

Now I know what you're thinking "He keeps saying "when used correctly" but there is no guarantee that people will and when they don't the effectiveness drops by 10%".

How to Use a Condom Consistently and Correctly: (According to the CDC)

  • Use a new condom for every act of vaginal, anal and oral sex throughout the entire sex act (from start to finish). Before any genital contact, put the condom on the tip of the erect penis with the rolled side out.
  • If the condom does not have a reservoir tip, pinch the tip enough to leave a half-inch space for semen to collect. Holding the tip, unroll the condom all the way to the base of the erect penis.
  • After ejaculation and before the penis gets soft, grip the rim of the condom and carefully withdraw. Then gently pull the condom off the penis, making sure that semen doesn't spill out.
  • Wrap the condom in a tissue and throw it in the trash where others won't handle it.
  • If you feel the condom break at any point during sexual activity, stop immediately, withdraw, remove the broken condom, and put on a new condom.
  • Ensure that adequate lubrication is used during vaginal and anal sex, which might require water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants (e.g., petroleum jelly, shortening, mineral oil, massage oils, body lotions, and cooking oil) should not be used because they can weaken latex, causing breakage.

That is why before getting intimate both parties MUST learn how to use contraception properly and MUST discuss with their partner whether he/she has STDs/STIs, whether both parties will use contraception (condom and pill) or just one and what they will do in the event of a pregnancy. Think of it as your terms and conditions but unlike the one's for using a website or software I suggest you pay attention to them.

A sociosexually unrestricted view of sex and relationships

I'm not jealous of another woman for having lots of sex, I can have lots of sex with my boyfriend and still call a promiscuous woman a slut because I don't approve of her life choices. Sex has lost its value, because it's just for pleasure and fun. A girl who gives in too fast and too easily becomes: A slut. Something with less value. And even though men don't get that title officially, I've never seen a promiscuous man easily get a nice and respectful girl. Beauty goes away and most people regardless of gender someday will wish for a marriage or something a little bit more steady.

Well I'm glad you claim that you can have lots of sex but I'll leave it to your boyfriend to verify whether this is true. You could have been much better in bed if you had practice with other people since everyone brings something different sexually. As for slut shaming what right have you to judge someone on how they live their life. Hateful people such as yourself tend to live much more miserable lives than promiscuous women since while they focus on having fun you use all of your energy to hate.

In the previous take I talked about how slut shaming was caused by jealousy, I have come to the conclusion that this is not 100 percent accurate as claimed by Psychology Today.

According to Psychology today

the term "slut," sometimes its use had no connection to sexual activity—it was a way to say “I don’t like that person," or, "You’re different from me.” When higher-status women used the term against lower-status women, it often simply meant “low-class” or “trashy.” When a lower-status women used it to refer to a higher-status one, it often meant something more along the lines of “snobby” or “mean.”

Now another part of slut shaming also comes from women not liking that men can get sex easier. These women believe that sex is something special that must be earned and that promiscous women are giving it away for free. Their problem with this is that it liberates men from the obligations that would come with a relationship and see sex as a form of payment for being faithful. As I stated earlier in this take, not everyone wants a relationship, there are quite a lot of men and more recently women that only want sex and nothing else. Using sex as a reward for being in a commited relationship is evil in my opinion, people should be getting sex regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not. This monopoly on sex which sociosexually restricted women still posess is causing a lot of sociosexually unrestricted men depression since they must please a woman before being pleased themselves. This has lead to cheating and resentment with some men giving up sex all together.

This is called Men Going There Own Way (MGTOW)

And here is why women hate MGTOW

MGTOW is the response of sociosexually unrestricted men to sociosexually restricted women controlling their sex lives. More and more sociosexually unrestricted men are choosing this option. So much so that it has become a problem in Japan. The goal is to get women to switch from being sociosexually restricted to being socoiosexually unrestricted. Now I'm not an MGTOW but I have to admit what they are doing is very noble and I hope that sociosexually restricted people become the minority instead of remaining an oppresive majority.

As for a stable relationship, what's wrong with an open relationship? I mentioned it in detail earlier in this take and I believe it is the most stable type of relationship a person can be in.

The problem with this is that when these sluts will realize how they destroyed their chance to be happy in the long run, it will be too late.

When beauty will start fading away, they won't find a valuable man to settle with, because no valuable man is foolish or desperate enough to get a walking cumbucket as a life partner.

But once again... it will be too late to change anything when they will be capable of realizing this on their own.
Kind of like when heavy smokers suddenly discover they have cancer and they're gonna die... It's too late.

Smoking and sex are two completely different things. Smoking is almost guaranteed to kill you while condoms can protect you from STIs/STDs very well as mentioned above. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by valuable man. If you mean a sociosexually restricted man than I have to disagree that your prudishness makes you more valuable than a sociosexually unrestricted man. It's quite the opposite actually, since women tend to prefer men with experience which is why they tend to date older guys. A woman can always be in a polyamorous relationship so she doesn't have to settle for one man and looks don't fade away that quickly if she takes good care of herself.

I wish I could write more responses but apperantly there is a length limit. I hope you enjoyed myTake.

0 4

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your take is well written, but your view is not for me. First off, I will state this, I absolutely love sex and have a pretty high sex drive for a woman. BUT, I have only had one partner (13 years), who I am no longer with. He can vouch for the fact that we had sex every single day and has done so when asked. However, I am what you would and have called "sociosexually restricted", but it has nothing to do with society. I really could care less what other people think about me. My mother can vouch for that, because it has driven her nuts. The reasons that I prefer not to (basically) say, "here's my body; f**k me", is because I don't want to. I enjoy being disease free and I already have enough kids to take care of on my own. You say to use birth control and/or condoms. I don't want to. I do not get much pleasure while a condom is being used and if I want rubber between my legs, I could just use a dildo. Birth control pills come with lots of side effects and risks. If you want to know entirely what those are, you can research them, but some include low sex drive, mood swings, weight gain, cancer, etc. I like my sex drive and don't want it tampered. I also enjoy not being a raging b***h. It's hard enough to control weight without having it made harder. I took the depo shot years ago and gained over 40 lbs in a year from it. Screw that! Another form of b. c. that i took was found to cause major issues. I'm sure you have seen the lawsuit commercials for yaz/yasmin; if not, google it. I'm one of those people that prefers not putting pills and other (possibly) harmful things into her body.

    As far as gaining experience is concerned, you don't need a crapload of partners to gain knowledge and perfection of sex acts. Porn and the internet do quite well with teaching us. One of the best things about performing each act is experimenting with your partner. I'd rather experiment and perfect each act with one man than continuously start at square one with a new man. I'm too impatient for that. Half the fun of getting to your destination is the journey. I want to proceed, instead of constantly breaking down and starting over. I'm a pretty open person in the bedroom and I enjoy trying different things. I want to be able to move onto a new act, while revisiting the last act frequently. I like progression and variety in sex, but not when it comes to different partners.

    As far as MGTOW, that's just a bunch of whiney men pi**ed off about being "controlled" by women and

    • society. Don't want to bow down to others, then don't. Simple as that. Going on a rampage isn't going to change other people's minds. Sorry. What you fail to see is that you don't want women controlling you, but you're trying to control women by telling them what to do with their bodies, hearts, minds and emotions. You're saying, "who gives a s**t what you want" and "just f**k us all". If not, we are the bad guys. Sorry, but no. Don't like? Sucks for you, because I just don't care. I'm the only one I have to please right now. When the right guy can accept me for who I am and what I want (usually because he wants the same or similar), then I will have another person to please. I'm not a cold-hearted person who can just switch off their feelings. Sex is way better when you feel from the inside AND out. Anyone who has experienced such, can appreciate and understand that. They more than likely want the same.

    • You and I don't share the same views on sex and that's okay. I'm sure there will be many others who will disagree as well. To each his own. I don't go around labeling people or calling them derogatory names for my own personal benefit. It serves no real purpose. Labeling someone isn't going to change who they are and it is a very narrow-minded thing to do. There's more to a person than A or B. For instance, the two labels you used aren't 100% accurate for every person. I actually fit in both and in neither for each point. Life isn't all black and white. As far as calling people names like "slut", "whore", "tramp", etc. That's just trashy and makes a person look just as bad, if not worse. Jealous people do that and jealousy only hurts the carrier of such feelings. Oh, and I do not have to be married to sleep with someone. I'm just not into casual partners. I do prefer to be in a relationship with someone, if possible. I like monogamy. This is not to say that I wouldn't sleep with a m

    • man on a first date, but it doesn't mean I would either. I will only sleep with someone that I know well enough and respect as a person. I want to feel more than just the physical act when joined with a person. It's an awesome feeling to care about the person you are sleeping with. It's also an awesome feeling to not be tossed aside when you are done. I prefer a deeper connection. There's nothing you or anyone else can do or say to make me change my mind and bend to YOUR/THEIR will. Polygamy was a way of the past. It was tried, failed and outlawed. It's not in the best interest for each individual or society and with good reason. It creates too many issues. As a whole, we started to progress towards a better and more peaceful environment. Unfortunately, we have regressed a lot lately. Morals/values & common decency are at an all-time low today. I want no part in all of this conflict going on. I prefer peace and to be able to live for me, without having the need to force people's hands.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "The sociosexually unrestricted view of sex is the way of the future"

    I sincerely hope that it won't happen otherwise it will be a sad time indeed. I still would prefer to have "something" with the woman and not just fuck about.

    Oh and I have seen one video from that guy's MGTOW channel while Sandman was someone I watched often until I just couldn't take it. I'm not subscribed to razorblade kandy, barbarosa, John the other, raging golden eagle and psychological cynic. Sandman was just the most bitter and downright cringeworthy person I have ever seen and it's impossible to watch his videos, methinks.

    • You can always find a woman that means something to you. Like I said in the take sociosexually unrestricted people divided people that fall into one category as either friend or sex partner. Everyone wants both emotional and physical satisfaction and people search for those people that can provide it through polyamorous relationships.

    • by the way I meant to say I *am subcribed

    • But what if I want a monogamous relationship with someone?

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 18
  • Sex is "more risky" for women. . . because it carries certain risks that are unique to women and not men. . . you know, like STDs/STIs (which men are immune to).

    O. o

    • Read the part of myTake which answers it. It's the first common response which I answered.

    • Read it, but still provides no "answer" as to how or why "women" are more susceptible to STDs/STIs than "men" are. Does the penis have some magic STD/STI-fighting vaccine? You know, it's always "okay" to just admit that there was maybe a type-o or thoughtless error made in the writing process. Not everyone is perfect, and that's okay.

  • First year I was in art college and lost my virility and fucked around with a lot of people for the first two months, I then meet my boyfriend and have no desire for other men at all.

    As someone who's seen both worlds, I have to say being somewhat restricted is better, at least for women.

    Our sex drive is largely dependent on an emotional connection, and many acts trust is crucial. I can never do half the things I do without the bond we have, he knows my limits during bdsm, what to say that drives me nuts, and he's the only one I can come over 6 times and squirt with.

    Everyday I have much better sex both physically and mentally, learned much more with him, than those 12 flings I had that could only scratch an itch.

    I know I'm never going back to the casual sex lifestyle.

    • *virginity

    • What made your guy want to stay with you?

    • @LiveFreeorDieHard He probably understood the past is in the past. It doesn't matter how many partners she had.

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  • I started reading your Take and I thought it was very interesting, however It's way too long and the videos,... A little too much. Considering narrowing your Take and you may gets more readers

    • I wanted to cover everything so being brief wouldn't have worked. I still missed 2 things but I was already over the word limit so I couldn't include it. The whole point was that people read the whole thing.

  • You seem to go on about how much you "like" sex with many different women.

    I have news for you, sexual fulfillment is not a right. It is a desire, NOT a need. If it was a need everyone would be getting it.

    You continue to go on having sex with as many women as you can. It will be fun for a while, but eventually you will lament your inability to love just one woman. When you find her, you will be so used up and destroyed inside you will be incapable of ever truly loving her, and only her.

    I say what I say not to be an asshole, but to help people to realize that the way they are going about things is wrong. Yeah, it feels good for a time, but no player is going to shout to the world, "I was wrong! My lifestyle is wrong! Oh, the shame that has befallen me! I cannot love anymore, women are just objects to me, now!"

    Not gonna happen. Before you continue walking towards the cliff to sexual oblivion, consider what being with a horny, loose, slutty woman who is your WIFE might be like.

    • Well food is also a basic human need but not everyone gets it. Just look at most third world countries. Sex is a biological need, if it was merely a desire then we wouldn't have it so often. Love and sex are separate concepts entirely. Here this is right from myTake "Everybody searches for someone that they can love for both their body and personality. Sociosexually unrestricted individuals such as myself divide those that only fall into one category as either someone you have sex with or someone you are friends with. This allows for both physical and emotional feelings to be satisfied." Well that sounds perfect "horny, loose, slutty woman". I want an equal not a maid to cook and clean for me.

  • Thanks for the call out, but I must strongly disagree with you. An important detail that you may have missed is shown clearly in the following article:

    www.hookingupsmart.com/.../

    "49% of sociosexual orientation is heritable, i. e. determined by genes."
    "2% is attributable to shared environment, i. e. parenting."
    "47% is attributable to unshared environment, e. g. peer pressure, popular culture."
    "2% is attributable to the respondent’s age, so it appears that sociosexual orientation changes very slightly over the life course."

    Forty-nine percent attributed to heritability? Sounds to me like you would have just as much success trying to eliminate homosexuality or the formation of an appendix.

    Many things are "hard wired" in people (men and women both). Wishing away traits you think undesirable doesn't change anyone's reality.

    • At the same time you mentioned "2% is attributable to shared environment, i. e. parenting." "47% is attributable to unshared environment, e. g. peer pressure, popular culture." "2% is attributable to the respondent’s age, so it appears that sociosexual orientation changes very slightly over the life course." That's 51% that can contribute to a change and make someone sociosexually unrestricted.

    • Yes, but people choose who they associate with. You are not going to claim that entire margin for the development of sociosexual unrestriction. (Not without establishing re-education camps exclusively for the currently young and sociosexually restricted.)

    • Think of it this way: If it's established that the 49% attributed to heritability primes me for restricted orientation, then just 2% influence from my environment gets me over the hump even if the rest of the culture fights against me.

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  • But... did you know that... people actually want different things? Always have, always will? Therefore sexuality is a whole spectrum. You can't expect everyone to change in order to enjoy poly* relationships. It's not for everyone.

  • This is a well written take and good argument with constructive basis!

    That said, I do not wan this for myself or my partners. I enjoy sex bring something I reserve for commitment and relationships and I want the same from a partner. I have never had a sexual encounter where I did not feel... exposed and most open with a partner, and I think I would like to hold on to that myself for someone I really care about, and just that person.

    Also I dont get how people have the time and energy to be polyamorous lol One partner is already a huge load on my free time and effort, I just couldn't handle it, but god speed to those who want that. I suppose selfishly I do hope society still remains largely monogamous though, if not just for myself and children and families. but who knows, only time will tell

  • Omg, someone actually called promiscuous women "cumbuckets?" What the hell? That person needs to be slapped >_<

    • I wish I could've slapped him but he was Anonymous.

    • It was a guy who said that? It sounded like bitch-speak to me... For some reason the fact that it was a guy makes me less angry than if it was a chick.

    • It was a guy who thought that just because he is waiting until marriage that he is better than everyone else that has promiscuous sex.

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  • No matter how neatly your take was written, I still preder to be in a monogamous relationship.

    Of course, you're free to do what you want with your life. But please, don't glorify your way of life and I won't mine.

    • You can prefer whatever you like. Glorify? What's wrong with me saying that I think my way is right.

    • By that I mean that there's no need to make people who dislike your way of life feel bad for not living the way you do. No need to force your beliefs on others and that applies to all people - restricted or unrestricted.

  • It has a lot of truth but I don't agree with every part. This is extremely vast topic. Just want to tell you that all of the system depends upon individuals and you, being a sociosexually unrestricted man, influenced the perfection of this take because it needs to be neutral when writing such thing unless you're promoting them.

    Good :)

    • I am promoting sociosexually unrestricted of sex and relationships that's the whole point of the take lol. What did you not agree with?

    • That promotion of course lol especially Polyamory. I honestly don't think that it'll work, even in future. [coming from sociosexually unrestricted man]

    • You have any other suggestions?

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  • I guess I fall under Sociosexual restriction.

    But it was not forced on me. :p

    • Can you explain why you are sociosexually restricted?

    • Because I realized that I need guarantee before I can give my consent to that. And after some deep thinking, I realized I am not comfortable with casual flings, etc.

    • Can you elaborate? A guarantee for what?

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  • I respect your right to live life in the way that you choose but I disagree with a lot of your take.

    Especially in regards to it being the way of the future. Not everyone has a predisposition towards promiscuity. I also don't think promiscuousity is good for the advancement of society. Had we not been monogamous in the past decades I don't think we would be where we are now.

    Another thing worth noting is even if girls become more open to casual sex (which a lot of them are) they are NOT hooking up with average dudes. They are more inclined to hook up with the upper level guys (top 30%) and those guys are more than happy to lower their standards to get a larger variety. Even plain 5/10 girls will try to go for guys who are 7/10 and guess what, a good portion of those 7/10 looking guys will be more than happy to hook up with the an average girl to add another notch to his belt.

    Guys generally prefer variety when it comes to casual sex

    Girls prefer quality

    There's a greater variance in reproductive success for men. Your vision of a utopia where everyone is happy and getting laid isn't how it would actually play out.

    Im not saying the whe "you must wait until marriage" thing is correct but I definitely don't think promiscuousity and poly relationships becoming the norm would be good for the advancement of society.

    As with most thing balance is ideal. Going from monogamy to promiscuousit is just the pendulum swinging from one extreme to another.

    • You have any other suggestions?

    • Dude, that was actually a very good idea, only thetop thirty percent is so true. Look at that psycho from sand diego, the kisless virgin, he missed outbecause he was ugly.

    • @LiveFreeorDieHard Yeah girls DO NOT lower their standards for casual sex like guys do. Like guys will often fuck plain or even fat girls to get an easy lay. Girls don't do that. If a girl hooks up it will be with an athlete, a popular guy or just someone she thinks is hot. So an average looking girl will probably try to hook up with a guy who is like a 7/10 and guys who are 7/10 are often willing to fuck average looking girls as long as they don't have to work for it. Also think about this, girls can charge money for sex, they can make a guy take her on dates and wine and dine her for 2 months to get sex, she can make a guy put a ring on her finger, OR she can let the guy have sex for free on the first date. Which guy do you think shell have higher standards for? the guy who she gives free sex to on the first date OR the guy who she takes it slow with and has to date her for 2 months to get sex

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  • For those of you who TL;DR'd this:

    If you aren't having casual sex on a regular basis and want something special, you're a repressive human being. Unless you're a virgin, in which case you SHOULDN'T just lose it and have something special instead, then go to having casual sex. by the way, if you have any sorta emotional connection with sex, you're a fucking idiot. If you're a man who doesn't have casual sex, you're a waste of resources. Oh yeah, and if you're not 100% down with polygamy you need to get with the times, bruh. How do I know this is all true? Because I use big words like "sociosexually unrestricted" which have no actual meaning outside of some college human sexuality classes.

    • The whole point of this take was that people read the whole thing and not TL;DR. I put in a lot of effort into so that it would answer almost every question. You completely misunderstood the take. I never called anyone by any names and I never talked about polygamy. It was one sentence to tell people the difference. This is literally from the myTake "Polyamory differs from adultery because all the partners know about each others' lovers, so there is no secrecy or feeling of betrayal. Polygamy, is unrelated and is often confused as a synonym. Polygamy means being married to more than one person."

    • Haha brilliant comment

    • You really have no idea what you're talking about lol. You sound super judgmental.

    • Also, about the articles you linked to. The problems mentioned in "i regret saving sex for marriage" can easily be avoided by taking the time to know the person before marrying them, and also by making sure you're marrying them for the right reasons (i. e. making sure what you feel really is love.) The issues in "why waiting untill marriage is bad" can easily be avoided by doing your research on sex while you're still a bachelor or bachelorette. I. E. read books on where the opposite sex likes to be touched, read forums on neat little "tricks" you can do, etc. Ah, the "test-drive the car" argument. It's really stupid. All such a couple has to do is do what married couples do in every other matter: COMPROMISE! It's worth noting that monogamous relationships occur in nature a lot more often than you'd think. Look it up. Alowing people to have multiple spouses would make marriages meaningless, and also risk the formation of an endless "spouse chain."

    • I also recommend you check out one of my own takes: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a9896-the-beliefs-of-today-s-society

      Now that I think about it, at some point in out conversation, I'll probably wind up linking you to things I said on deviantart. Might as well do that now.

      sin-and-love.deviantart.com/.../Mere-Christianity-bk-3-ch-6-552240466

      sin-and-love.deviantart.com/.../Something-that-needs-to-be-pointed-out-544756270

      sin-and-love.deviantart.com/.../An-alien-s-reaction-upon-examining-human-society-534334893

    • I'll check out the sources thanks. You seem to be confused between Polyamoury and Polygamy. I purposely wrote this in myTake. "Polyamory differs from adultery because all the partners know about each others' lovers, so there is no secrecy or feeling of betrayal. Polygamy, is unrelated and is often confused as a synonym. Polygamy means being married to more than one person." I was talking about dating not marriage. I believe in being married to one woman but having a mistress that the wife knows about and is friends with. Just like King Louis XV was married and had Madame de Pompadour as his mistress. His wife and mistress had a very good relationship.

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  • I don't get it... if they hold more of a passionate view of sex than just physical intimacy doesn't it make it more sense that they are enjoying life? If for say you like having ice cream everyday it loses its luster simply because you are having so much of it. But if you have it once every week or so or wait for that special ice cream shop wouldn't the eagerness of just wanting to get it be more real and thusly make the experience better?

    • Interesting point but the way I see horniness is as a hunger. Wouldn't you rather eat when you're hungry than wait until the store opens so you can buy groceries and then prepare your food.

    • Well lol I do intermittent fasting to cut weight and so not for me lol. The best part is waiting when I can pound down a ton of food in my time frame that opens. To each his own on this though. I suppose we all go through different stages in our lives, you might be who you are right now, but in 20 years, exactly like me, you will be a completely different person. May also not hold the same beliefs either. Like I was always told you can only lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink it; applies to both of us.

    • I guess you are right and no I do not fast.

  • The hell does sociosexual mean?

  • Dont understand or accept relationships so I would say no.

  • My fiancée and I are both virgins who are waiting until marriage. We are traditional Catholics, so we will never use contraception. That works out fine for us, because she won't have to screw up her hormones, and I happen to have a latex sensitivity.

    We have no regrets about our life choices. We have the rest of our lives to learn how to have incredible sex with each other.

  • Long read but what a great take.

  • People will do as they please with their bodies.

    Sex is deeply tied with neurology, a much untapped subject. To simply say sex has nothing to do with love is overlooking evidence we don't understand yet.

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