Preface
This is part 2 you can read part 1 here Sex, sluts and relationships
It has come to my attention that there were obviously some flaws in the way I wrote part 1 but since I am still new at this I ask that you bare with me. I welcome all criticism as long as it has valid reasoning behind it. This myTake will go into far more detail than the previous one and will respond to the most common criticisms of my views.
I would like to thank everyone that liked myTake for their support.
I have decided to get off anonymous posting so that you guys can follow me.
For those of you that are haters I ask that you do not message me if you do not agree with my views.
Let's begin
I'll first start by defining some terms to make sure we are all on the same page.
What is a monopoly?
The exclusive possession or control of something.
Usually this refers to a business but in this case it is the access to sex.
Now let's define sex. It was actually quite difficult to find an all encompasing definition for, since there are many different types of sex so the closest definition I could find is this
Any physical contact between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs
Now as we all know in order for two individuals to have sex, there must be consent.
The definition of consent is this
Give permission for something to happen
In the case of sex, women hold a monopoly over it's access and must give consent in order for a man to receive it since men tend to want sex more.
According to WebMd "The majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day, reports Laumann. Only about one-quarter of women say they think about it that frequently. As men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often".
Now you're probably thinking "Where are you going with this? Are you saying women should be raped?".
No of cource not!!!!!!!!!!
Here is where promiscuity comes in.
What is promiscuity?
Promiscuity is having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.
Promiscuious women fulfil a much needed desire in men which is definitely better than masturbating. Now I'm not saying that these women are doing men a favour by sleeping with them because they ENJOY IT TOO. There are women that are just as horny as men and don't care for the finess of getting someone in bed.
The people that don't care for all this "sex is about love" stuff and just want to enjoy sex are called sociosexually unrestricted.
I'd like to thank @gray_sailor for bringing this to my attention. I hope you don't mind that I copy paste what you wrote since I think you did a really good job explaining it.
What is sociosexual orientation?
Its a person's internally determined attitude toward casual sex.
There are two designations for sociosexual orientation :
- sociosexually restricted
- sociosexually unrestricted
Sociosexually unrestricted individuals:
- start having sex at a younger age
- engage in sexual activity earlier in a relationship
- engage in casual sex
- view sex as a purely physical act (sex is just sex)
- tend to not form attachments with their sexual partners
- have relatively higher partner counts
- have no concern for their partner's number of past partners
Sociosexually restricted individuals on the other hand:
- hold the romantic view of sex (sex is an intimate act with emotional, spiritual & physical components)
- strongly prefer sex inside a committed relationship
- routinely form attachments with their sex partner (and value that this happens)
- regard casual sex as missing something essential
- have relatively low partner counts
- desire that their sexual partners have a similar number of past partners and that they hold the same values with regard to sex
Now here comes the part where I will step on a lot of toes. :P
The sociosexually unrestricted view of sex is the way of the future.
Nowadays women are more open about their sexual desires and tend to have more casual sex partners. This works out to the benefit of both men, who are finally able to get sex without commitment and women who also just want to have fun without being attached to a man. This does not however mean that promiscuous individuals have sex with anyone. Everybody has there own standards on who they will sleep with. This hedonistic life style is exactly what society is moving towards since people are growing tired of being in temporary relationships when they just want sex. This prevents people's feelings from being hurt since both parties know from the start that they are just enjoying the moment.
The Virginity exception
The only time I believe sex should be viewed as something special is when someone is still a virgin. Sex is a new experience that should take place with someone that is willing to guide you through it and help you improve in the future. Men are more likely to want to lose it as quickly as possible but women get the opportunity sooner. I personally would prefer someone that will show me the ropes and then move onto the next girl instead of going for women when I'm sexually inadequate.
Sociosexual restriction is an antiquated notion used as a form of oppression
Sociosexual restriction has always been forced onto people, whether it be by their family or by their government. From an early age every boy and girl is told that they will one day find that one person whom they will marry and live the rest of their lives with. Both men and women that eventually want to get married take this notion very seriously. There are still quite a bit of people, on GAG especially that are saving themselves for someone special. The main problem with this is that two people's sexual desires and performances are not always compatible. This would lead to resentment from both sides and eventually a divorce.
Here are a few stories from people that were disappointed with waiting till marriage.
I Regret Saving Sex for Marriage
One Story that Shows Why Waiting Until Marriage is a Bad Idea
Sociosexual restriction also was something forced onto people by totalitarian governments. One of the most notable was Maoist China. Today the Chinese are discovering what it means to have sex and that it is more than just procreation. This documentary shows what happens when a society is forced into conforming to the standards of sociosexually restricted individuals.
Physical attraction vs Emotional attraction
This is where the prude sociosexually restricted individuals get confused. The body of every individual is like a work of art, there are many ways to appreciate it but the most common way is to have sex. As a heterosexual man I can tell you that whenever I see a nice pair of breasts or a nice butt that I must resist the urge to touch otherwise I will get into a lot of trouble :D.
Much as I find bacon to be delicious and love to eat it the same goes for someone I'm physically attracted to but not emotionally. I do not have any emotional connection to my food, I just eat it. I would obviously prefer good tasting food, but if I'm hungry I'll eat anything as long as it doesn't taste bad. The same goes with physical attraction. Sex is a physical act between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs. It fulfils a basic urge which allows a man or woman to ejaculate. The emotions behind the act are a social construct and not a natural occurence.
Sidenote: If you insist on commenting on how you find Hooters to be degrading to women. Remember it was their choice to work their and there is a male version as well. The male version is called Tallywackers but I'm pretty sure it's a gay bar.
Loving someone's personality is just another form of attraction. If you have friends (which I'm hoping you do) you will notice that there are personality traits that you like about them, maybe even love about them. Whether it be their sense of humour, confidence, intellect and e.t.c. However you would never date them because they are either of the same-sex or you friend-zoned them for one of many possible reasons.
The white one says Benevolent.
Everybody searches for someone that they can love for both their body and personality. Sociosexually unrestricted individuals such as myself divide those that only fall into one category as either someone you have sex with or someone you are friends with. This allows for both physical and emotional feelings to be satisfied.
Polyamorous/Open relationships
Sociosexually unrestricted individuals such as myself are more likely to want to be in a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory means many loves. It is the practice of engaging in several emotionally and sexually intimate relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamory differs from adultery because all the partners know about each others' lovers, so there is no secrecy or feeling of betrayal. Polygamy, is unrelated and is often confused as a synonym. Polygamy means being married to more than one person.
An open relationship is a relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others. So by definition polyamory is a type of open relationship, there are several others but in this take I will only discuss polyamory.
Polyamorous couples are very aware of the fact that one partner does not have to be absolutely everything to them because they can go outside a relationship to have their needs fulfilled emotionally or sexually. They are often more open to having other needs fulfilled by other people, instead of defaulting to the kind of codependence that grows between a monogamous couple which places a lot of pressure on both partners to maintain the relationship. Each partner contributes something different whether it be emotionally, sexually or both. Open couples make an effort to have difficult and uncomfortable conversations because there is no room for jealousy in an open relationship. It is vital to identify personal insecurities and fears and take responsibility for each others feelings.
Players, a result of sociosexual restriction
Players are men or women who seek casual sex but go about getting it through manipulation of sociosexually restrictied individuals. They are very experienced and know exactly what to say to get into someone's pants.
Take Barney Stinson for example, specifically the part where he says "I wish I could marry commitment" and the ending of the video. Barney is not the commitment type, his relationships and sexual adventures in the tv show How I Met Your Mother clearly demonstrate that. What he does to have sex with a woman is immoral in my opinion since it hurts the feelings of the women that are against casual sex. The counter of his sexual conquests in this video is a bit off since it sometimes counts a woman twice.
Players exist because if they were upfront about their intentions they would never get laid. The video below is a social experiment in which a man asks 100 girls for sex. All of them say no, which leads men especially to believe that the only way to have casual sex is by manipulating a girl.
Now when a woman did the same thing she had positive responses. There were still a lot of men that were opposed to having casual sex, but not as many as women.
Common responses from the previous myTake
Women have a lot more to lose since they can get pregnant and/or get STDs/STIs
The reason most women are against casual sex is because they feel like they have a lot more to lose while a man can just move onto the next woman.
To this I have a very simple response
CONDOMS USE THEM
In a two-year study of sero-discordant couples (in which one partner was HIV-positive and one was HIV-negative), no uninfected partner became infected among couples using condoms correctly and consistently at every act of vaginal or anal sex versus 10 percent of those using condoms inconsistently.
According to the CDC, when used consistently and correctly, latex condoms are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV and many other STDs/STIs. The effectiveness if used correctly is about 97%.
You can also always ask your partner to get tested for STDs/STIs in order to be 100% certain that you won't catch anything.
Condoms are also 98 percent effective in preventing pregnancy when used correctly, every time.
Another thing that prevents pregnancy is taking birth control pills.
According to WebMD "when taken correctly, it is up to 99.9% effective.".
Now I know what you're thinking "He keeps saying "when used correctly" but there is no guarantee that people will and when they don't the effectiveness drops by 10%".
How to Use a Condom Consistently and Correctly: (According to the CDC)
- Use a new condom for every act of vaginal, anal and oral sex throughout the entire sex act (from start to finish). Before any genital contact, put the condom on the tip of the erect penis with the rolled side out.
- If the condom does not have a reservoir tip, pinch the tip enough to leave a half-inch space for semen to collect. Holding the tip, unroll the condom all the way to the base of the erect penis.
- After ejaculation and before the penis gets soft, grip the rim of the condom and carefully withdraw. Then gently pull the condom off the penis, making sure that semen doesn't spill out.
- Wrap the condom in a tissue and throw it in the trash where others won't handle it.
- If you feel the condom break at any point during sexual activity, stop immediately, withdraw, remove the broken condom, and put on a new condom.
- Ensure that adequate lubrication is used during vaginal and anal sex, which might require water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants (e.g., petroleum jelly, shortening, mineral oil, massage oils, body lotions, and cooking oil) should not be used because they can weaken latex, causing breakage.
That is why before getting intimate both parties MUST learn how to use contraception properly and MUST discuss with their partner whether he/she has STDs/STIs, whether both parties will use contraception (condom and pill) or just one and what they will do in the event of a pregnancy. Think of it as your terms and conditions but unlike the one's for using a website or software I suggest you pay attention to them.
I'm not jealous of another woman for having lots of sex, I can have lots of sex with my boyfriend and still call a promiscuous woman a slut because I don't approve of her life choices. Sex has lost its value, because it's just for pleasure and fun. A girl who gives in too fast and too easily becomes: A slut. Something with less value. And even though men don't get that title officially, I've never seen a promiscuous man easily get a nice and respectful girl. Beauty goes away and most people regardless of gender someday will wish for a marriage or something a little bit more steady.
Well I'm glad you claim that you can have lots of sex but I'll leave it to your boyfriend to verify whether this is true. You could have been much better in bed if you had practice with other people since everyone brings something different sexually. As for slut shaming what right have you to judge someone on how they live their life. Hateful people such as yourself tend to live much more miserable lives than promiscuous women since while they focus on having fun you use all of your energy to hate.
In the previous take I talked about how slut shaming was caused by jealousy, I have come to the conclusion that this is not 100 percent accurate as claimed by Psychology Today.
According to Psychology today
the term "slut," sometimes its use had no connection to sexual activity—it was a way to say “I don’t like that person," or, "You’re different from me.” When higher-status women used the term against lower-status women, it often simply meant “low-class” or “trashy.” When a lower-status women used it to refer to a higher-status one, it often meant something more along the lines of “snobby” or “mean.”
Now another part of slut shaming also comes from women not liking that men can get sex easier. These women believe that sex is something special that must be earned and that promiscous women are giving it away for free. Their problem with this is that it liberates men from the obligations that would come with a relationship and see sex as a form of payment for being faithful. As I stated earlier in this take, not everyone wants a relationship, there are quite a lot of men and more recently women that only want sex and nothing else. Using sex as a reward for being in a commited relationship is evil in my opinion, people should be getting sex regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not. This monopoly on sex which sociosexually restricted women still posess is causing a lot of sociosexually unrestricted men depression since they must please a woman before being pleased themselves. This has lead to cheating and resentment with some men giving up sex all together.
This is called Men Going There Own Way (MGTOW)
And here is why women hate MGTOW
MGTOW is the response of sociosexually unrestricted men to sociosexually restricted women controlling their sex lives. More and more sociosexually unrestricted men are choosing this option. So much so that it has become a problem in Japan. The goal is to get women to switch from being sociosexually restricted to being socoiosexually unrestricted. Now I'm not an MGTOW but I have to admit what they are doing is very noble and I hope that sociosexually restricted people become the minority instead of remaining an oppresive majority.
As for a stable relationship, what's wrong with an open relationship? I mentioned it in detail earlier in this take and I believe it is the most stable type of relationship a person can be in.
The problem with this is that when these sluts will realize how they destroyed their chance to be happy in the long run, it will be too late.
When beauty will start fading away, they won't find a valuable man to settle with, because no valuable man is foolish or desperate enough to get a walking cumbucket as a life partner.
But once again... it will be too late to change anything when they will be capable of realizing this on their own.
Kind of like when heavy smokers suddenly discover they have cancer and they're gonna die... It's too late.
Smoking and sex are two completely different things. Smoking is almost guaranteed to kill you while condoms can protect you from STIs/STDs very well as mentioned above. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by valuable man. If you mean a sociosexually restricted man than I have to disagree that your prudishness makes you more valuable than a sociosexually unrestricted man. It's quite the opposite actually, since women tend to prefer men with experience which is why they tend to date older guys. A woman can always be in a polyamorous relationship so she doesn't have to settle for one man and looks don't fade away that quickly if she takes good care of herself.
I wish I could write more responses but apperantly there is a length limit. I hope you enjoyed myTake.
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