That's So (not) Gay! 2

Okay, so for everyones feathers that I ruffled I apologise. When I wrote this:

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/social-relationships/a23422-that-s-so-not-gay

I was ever so slightly pissed off. Which wasn' t the fault of anyone, but I couldn't figure out why I was in such a sour mood and decided to focus it on what I heard that day. Which was a couple guys calling their friend gay for whatever reason in a derogative way.(Well, they might not have been a friend, I wasn't listening all that closely. I was playing games).

I want to just rephrase everything that I said. I still stand by my point, that we shouldn't be using the terms, gay or faggot or whatever in a derogative way. Because contrary to popular belief, words can be really hurtful. Also I'd thought being called gay stopped in primary school. Seems that's in small towns only, not the city. Cities evidently don't let things go. I mean, them calling me Leslie (short for lesbian) as an insult stopped the moment we went to highschool. But here in the city, people still have those stupid derogative 'nicknames' their peers came up with back in Grade two or something stupid like that.

Ugh. Immature brats.

The official definition of Gay, is either to be happy or joyful, or that of a homosexual male aka attracted to the same gender.

The definition that has been growing over the years, is that of a derogative term, often in place where words like stupid, weak, girly, butch, and an assortment of others, could have been used instead.

Yes, some of the words that could hav ebeen used in place can be taken as offensive to others also, however what do we have a better chance of getting rid of? You're so gay, which has been around for maybe ten or so years, or you're such a girl, which has been around for at least a hundred years. I know this as I've read books published around a hundred years ago and that prase was used. You're so gay or similar to, never was.

I'm not going to excempt myself from the population of insensitive ignorant people who use the wrong words to describe a person or situation. When I was thirteen to fourteen 'retarded' was my word. I believed it couldn't be offensive because I didn't think of mentally unwell people to be retarded. And in my younger arrogant teen self, if I thought it, then everyone else secretly agreed. They just didn't want you to know for some reason. What stopped me was seeing my Mum for the first time in nine years. I stayed with her for five weeks over the Christmas holidays and during that time she heard me use the word retarded a bit too much for her taste. She had a talk with me. She worked with mentally and physically unwell people, and while she didn't think of them as retarded, she knew some of them thought of themselves that way and once upon a time, 'retarded' was the offical medical term to categorise them into. She told me this. She told me how even if I don't think so, the words I use can seriously hurt someone.

Isn't that how a lot of bullying is? A bunch of kids having some 'harmless' fun, and their victim taking it to heart. A lot of suicide happens that way. Because bullies take it too far and don't consider their words and the effect they may have.

I'm going off track.

Okay, so. What does retarded have to do with gay? It runs on the same princible. I never thought the word retarded could be offensive, because it wasn't to me. Gay, is offensive, because it is to me. But to other people it isn't, so they use it, thinking it shouldn't affect anyone else. Essentally behaving like fourteen year old me. Yes I just called you a fourteen year old girl. And we all know how shitty fourteen year olds can be. Not looking forward to my younger siblings getting to that age.

Gay is offensive when used in a derogative way. When used in context as an insult it is implying that being gay is a bad thing. No you might not mean it that way, but regardless of what you think, or your friends think, somebody is going to take it that way. And you don't know what's going on in their life, that could be the last straw. You just killed someone. Yes, any word can do that, but some have more of a chance of doing so than others. Gay happens to be one of them. How do I know?

My friend tried to kill herself.

Tried being the operative word. Thankfully.

(This is simply my humour being morbid. This quote so doesn't belong with the topic of suicide)

I want to try and put this in context for some people.

Once upon a time nigga was the word we used, right? We were apposed to people of colour for some stupid reason, and came up with words to offend and belittle them. But then something happened, I need to brush up on my history, and now we don't use that word. Because we know black people are people too. And they have feelings. And we shouldn't be using words that hurt those feelings. I don't care if you're white and think you're superior. Nobody is superior. We shouldn't be using those words because they are offensive to a group of people.

So why is using gay as a derogative term okay? Because many people don't belive being gay is a thing. It's a choice to them, like getting fake tan or something. Some people think making gay people ashamed of what they are, will make them choose to be straight again. It doesn't work like that. And other people are simply ignorant and follw suit.

A few people who commented on the original, accused me of getting offended for people. I'm not getting offended for anyone but myself. I'm not straight. I fit under the blanket term of queer, but I have no label. I am simply attracted to either gender, I don't consider myself bi, but I suppose it's the term you can use if you're desperate to label me. I'm not a straight girl getting offended for gays. I got over that a year and a bit ago. I don't get offended for people anymore. It's a waste of my time. Unless somebody is specifically talking shit about a friend of mine, I won't get offended for people. There are exceptions however.

If you talk about wanting to hurt someone because they are of a specific sex, race, religion or any other group, then I will stand up and call you on your shit. That is not offensive, it's blatant discrimination.

I've run out of things to say. If I was goin gto change your mind I'dhave done so already, so I'll just leave this here.

Have a gay day, everyone!

That's So (not) Gay! 2

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