Sex Games: Girls, You Have to Let Us Win Occasionally

[KaidenKass00]

As a guy in my raging - or not so raging, depending on the week - 20s, I know a few things. Here's one thing I know:

In the game of sex, we're always losing. We're always behind. We know girls have the upper hand and we're constantly trying to compensate for our lagging. But here's the worst part:

We're always losing, even after the deed is done. Thing is, as teens, we guys think the ultimate victory is obvious: Sex. If we get it, we're good to go, and it doesn't really matter what happens afterward. We figure that if we get involved in a long-term relationship, that's cool, 'cuz then we can get sex whenever we want it. No more trolling for tail; we've got what we want at home. And if it doesn't turn into anything serious, well, we got it once, so we feel confident we can get it again.

But either way, we end up behind again. What...the...hell?!

Guys who have been in long-term relationships - married men, here's your chance to share your wisdom - know full well that sex is never a foregone conclusion. Guys who are "serial daters" (I guess you girls call them "players"), regardless of their exhibited confidence level, are really only seeking a decent batting average. A player who hits .300 is a freakin' All-Star for a reason; even the best "players" in the game probably don't have that average when it comes to scoring.

So, girls, here's a plea on behalf of all sexually-inclined males everywhere: In 2016, the white flag is up and we're admitting defeat. We know you'll always have the upper hand, before and after. We know we have to play catch-up, agonize over the right thing to say and do, and regardless of whether we're free or involved, we'll always be just a tad confused.

WE ADMIT IT. And we're asking for mercy. Just a little. We know you can win blindfolded and with both hands tied behind your back, so how's about taking the occasional dive? Give us a fighting chance and we promise we'll be happy with that, m'kay?

[redeyemindtricks]

Y'all placing too much value on the pussy.

Ever met a player who can play the game? How much marginal value you think he puts on that pussy? Pretty close to zero. Eh. Take it or leave it.

The real all-stars, those are the boys who let that marginal value hit zero, and keep falling, til it goes negative. Negative utility. The way YOU think that all girls see it, all the time.

Read some books by Iceberg Slim. That boy, he knew how to play the game. Negative utility on the pussy. You don't get to fuck daddy for free, was the rule.

You won't get there overnight.

[KaidenKass00]

So, your answer is to make the experience seem as meaningless as possible so eventually, you don't care whether or not you get it? I'm not impressed with guys who get so much pussy they put a "marginal value" on it. I'm impressed with nobody who reduces this to marginal anything.

[redeyemindtricks]

I mean, that's sort of accurate, except for the "make" part. You don't have to MAKE that happen, it just happens. You acclimate. What once seemed like an achievement becomes ordinary, what once seemed ordinary seems subpar. The extraordinary becomes the ordinary. No different from any other skill, up to that point. And then, well, you just kinda get bored. That's a thing. A thing that happens. You collect hundreds and hundreds of women, you really, honestly, truly do get bored of it. It gets meh. Been there done that want more. Usually, "want more" takes the form of a deeper relationship. All the biggest players? They all fall HARD. They get married. Sometimes it lasts, sometimes not, but that's not the point. More rarely it's something altogether different. I know one dude who burned through at least 300 women, and is now doing his novitiate in a Catholic seminary. Everything should be a work in progress. Getting laid should be worth less as you go, because that's progress.

[Scrambledagain]

Acclimate. That is key. But very few men get hundreds and hundreds. But that's why pick up artists are so brilliant and needed. They practice to acclimate with women. But the crap part of that, women are nothing but practice. I never go in a relationship thinking long term, always casual until I reach a certain age when I want to settle.

[0112358]

Pretty much. This is exactly how guys who get laid a lot, get laid a lot. THey're relaxed and confident with women because they get laid so much they're not worried about any one approach. What's depressing is if you read boards for players what happens when they try to have a monogamous relationship. Very few of them can pull it off. A few do, but not many. Basically getting tons of sex and treating women like fuckholes is easier than actually having a good monogamous relationship.

[redeyemindtricks]

@0112358 More likely, the ones who go on to have normal monogamous relationships, just don't post about it. Why would they? What would they write?

You are looking at exactly the same situation as this:
www.stats.uwo.ca/.../stat353annlanders.pdf

Or, the same reason why companies' 1-800 numbers get mostly complaints, even if their products are very very good. Happy customers don't call in!

Finally, you are reading "player boards" on the internet, which means that you're starting out with a bunch of dudes who are pretty maladjusted to begin with, and who are almost certainly exaggerating their exploits to fool the credulous.
I mean, these boards ARE full of people trying to sell their services to others, are they not?

I remember when that whole PUA thing was big. They really weren't very good at picking up women, I hate to say. They got good **by their original standards** -- that is, the standards for awkward nerds -- but they were still way below the level of people who just had good social skills in general. Sry tho.

[0112358]

I'd love to believe you're correct! And like i said, there are some really happy couples out there like you and your partner. But i'm pretty damn sure they're a minority. I -also- believe getting a bunch of hookups is -easier- than sustaining a hot relationship for most guys. Or maybe 'with most women'. Not sure how to put it. The sort of guy who keeps it hot (like your partner) could also be getting laid constantly, i suspect you'd agree. Personally a good relationship appeals to me a lot more than casual sex. But I would say that guys should NOT get into relationships if they don't have the ability to get hookups, even if they don't take advantage of that ability.

[redeyemindtricks]

@0112358 I'd be loath to generalize at all about that. For people with "high sociosexuality" (look it up -- it's approximately like high sluttiness / low prudishness), I'd tend to agree. For people with "low sociosexuality", well, no. My man and I are both way off the deep end of the sociosexuality scale. He was still a revue performer when I met him, so, whatever. He doesn't fuck around now, but I don't instinctively bristle at the idea-- the only two oh-HELL-no's would be #1, lying to me, or #2, giving his TIME to someone else. If either of those happened then poof! everything would be gone in an instant, because everything he's built himself up to be would just seem like an illusion. But, you are thinking too much in terms of absolutes. It's simpler than that, really. The reality is this: Whatever someone has been doing, is easier for him/her to keep doing. (: Inertia is a powerful, powerful force. You just hafta put it to work for YOUR team, not for the other team. Ya dig.

[Anonymous]

This is so pathetic.

smfh

[kaylaS91]

Your being 'behind' is partially a choice.
You could argue that biologically, you're hardwired to need sex or release frequently, out of your power, etc.. But you're also biologically blessed with more than one head. One below the waistline, plus the one sitting on your shoulders. With the right about of willpower and actual effort, it's not unheard of for a guy to manage to suppress his bodily desires for a 'constant source of sex' by using his brain. Self-restraint.
You guys are the ones making women the 'gatekeepers of sex', ultimately giving us that power.

If you choose to make your life-goal getting as much pussy as you possibly can, or finding a constant and dependent source of it, don't let me stop you. But you know who's to blame when you feel like you're always behind?
You.

[Bysshe]

"You guys are the ones making women the 'gatekeepers of sex', ultimately giving us that power." Yes, if all men banded together we could withhold sex from women and we would have the power collectively - women do want sex, just not as desperately. But that would never work, some men would betray the group and cash in on their chance to sleep with as many women as they could handle and then a few more.

[kaylaS91]

@Bysshe alrighty then well playing the hand you've been dealt, and can't change, smartly is the best you can do. Don't let your small head do 99% of the thinking and I'm sure you'll be okay.

[lumos]

Maybe stop seeing sex as some sort of race you need to win. How about that.

[Nik1hil]

👆luminous opinion. Side note : well man sees it as race as long as he is thinking from brain between his legs instead of brain in his head

[Minxxie]

This is really overdramatic. Why would you want people to pity date you?
You have to get out there and find someone who has a genuine mutual connection with them just like everyone else and yes sometimes it takes a while! Suck it up.

[BuchitaBuchys]

This seriously sounds so ridiculous.

On behalf of sane women:
MEN, IT'S 2016. STOP PUTTING PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL. PLEASEEEEEEEE.

[FakeName123]

And grow a pair instead of having two raisins in your pants.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@FakeName123 that part is optional lol

[FakeName123]

I think that one is a key part.

[WhatAreYouReading]

Um, what? So you want girls to make it easier for you to have sex with them and be okay with you just wanting to have sex with them, unless 'hey' something just works it's self out and it's more long term cause then you'd get it on the reg? What girl would want that? A girl wants the same guy... to be chosen... she wants to be the ONE you want just like you want to be the ONE she wants and gives into. Learn the game or you will always be bad at it.

[TickleMyPickle4Fun]

Why do you believe guys are "losing"? There are enough females out there who want the sex as much as we do. The problem is guys LETTING females think they are more important than us men. You become more successful the more leverage you have in a negotiating situation. Those of us who believe we are worth respect do not lower our standards. However there are a lot of weak-minded men out there who have let females talk them into feeling like the weaker, submissive sex. Guys, notice that although females have dildos and vibrators of all shape and size... that they always come crawling for a REAL man! That should prove to you that they need us as much as we desire them!

[SuklaaTryffeli]

We girls are not obligated to give you pussy, so we don't have to let you "win". I'd have sex pretty quickly if a guy just proved he cared for me, but I will not have sex with strangers or teens to let them have their "ultimate victory".

[RachelBrigs]

What exactly are you asking for?

[KaidenKass00]

For a girl to let down her guard for two seconds.

[BuchitaBuchys]

To throw a pathetic, defeated guy an easy lay once in a while.

[frozenhorizon]

Basically it sounds like he thinks women have some ridiculous moral obligation to give men they don't actually like a chance at dating them.

[jjmarvin]

@frozenhorizon no he's mad that women can theoretically have more sex with hot dumb guys than he can with hot dumb girls, which is bs because hot dumb people generally don't fuck down.

[RachelBrigs]

@jjmarvin he literally said nothing to indicate that that's what he's talking about. At all. He literally said nothing about hot dumb people and why are you dying to fuck a dumb person anyway?

[RachelBrigs]

Take owner- "for a girl to let her guard down for 2 seconds." Please elaborate

[jjmarvin]

He's pissed because he thinks having sex is easier for girls. I'm saying the quality of the sex and partners makes his argument invalid. Hot dumb people was just an inference. I never said i was the one that wanted to fuck one, I'm implying OP does.

[KaidenKass00]

I'll explain in an upcoming MyTake that tackles the opposite side of the argument. I wrote this specifically for a friend who has certain... beliefs. Let's just say mine don't gel with his, but this is what he - and so many guys - feel like.

[Dan2287]

No one is entitled to sex

[guynextodoor]

what? sex games!! please allow me to state some missing points in here...
1 men are not some computers which have been programmed with one word called sex.
2 you don't get into long term relationship because you want to get sex more often, you do it when you become more intimate. (in feelings, not physical)
3 you know... the world is huge and people from both sexes have more things to do in life.

i know there are men who think that way and i consider that thinking as cheap, but that statistics is far below from the point where you can put it down to general men.
though somehow i found your mytake unique. nice effort.

[Mysterio421]

Don't be giving up in your 20's. Men get the power as they reach their peak income in their 30's and 40's and the women become desperate to settle down in their 30's. But this is why you should have a bullpen of girls. Better chance of getting laid.

[KaidenKass00]

I had to LOL at the "bullpen of girls" comment. ;)

[Lolomon]

What world do you live in. Men aren't deprived of sex, men have a lot. maybe the problem is how much importance you put on sex , how about you get a hobby, a career, maybe a social life. Men act like sex is what makes you " you". Its sad really that you have that outlook

[ThisDudeHere]

So you want girls to sleep with you whenever you want, but if they were to do that you'd label them as easy sluts, wouldn't you?

[ManOnFire]

Seriously? This post is a joke. Nor have you even explained what makes guys lag behind in sex. And we live in times now where females are about as sexually active and lustful as males - you have teen girls bringing different guys home to slee p with so much that her parents are angry about it. So please, spare me another tired post about how all guys are sad and pathetic and sexually inadequate just because you feel that way about yourself.

[Metlahaed]

Men are fools, women are too emotional, makes for a bad recipe.

[oxynous]

Women, by nature, are emotionally unstable beings. This means they always need - in a certain degree - affection. If they feel secure in a relationship, they will start to think the next one. Always give them less than they do. Comport yourself towards them like a roller coaster. Sent them to the sky a few times and then crash-land them. Then, repeat the process all over again.

Make them feel that you don't mind too much that relationship you two have. She calls, call her back less. She texts, don't replay to her every time. When she asks why/where have you been, reply that you were busy (at work, preparing yourself for an exam etc). She must feel expendable. BY DEFAULT the most involved lover is handicapped in a relationship. Don't let yourself be the one. If you do allow that, you must accept the disadvantage of being behind.

You must dominate her, make her feel she is possessed by you. Skyrocketed her emotionally, then crash-land her. And repeat. Repeat, repeat.

If she finally leaves you, don't bother; you're ready for the next one. If, in the other hand, she stays, then she stands no chance to nibble your advantage.

But if you have already raised the white flag, then you deserved to be mistreated in a relationship. There has never been a truce between the sexes on that issue.

Streaks of romantic sex sessions must be occasionally interrupted by rough sex. Neck or hair grabbing, face spitting and the like. She must be reminded who dominates. And you never give oral.

Otherwise, dress yourself with the white flag. You will wear it for long.

[ChocoLada]

Cool, haha, but I always win ;)

[Crazyced]

I'm not admitting shit.

[pervertedjester]

I put the pieces together when I finally turned 30 and took another look at women my age. In my observations:
-Women in their teens and twenties are looking for a connection. That type of connection that happens in movies, stories and maybe even between their parents. Art imitates life and vice versa. So everyone who grows up with those kinds of examples repeated over and over in their life will become influenced by them. Men seek sex because that's what we're shown is our main example. Women seek connection/love. The unspoken compromise is, to get a man a woman must use sex as bait and hang all their hopes on a slim chance at a connection.

-Women in their 30's are tired of fighting for a connection in most cases and wanna have fun. They have little time for the dating game. If it leads to something great but for the most part as long as they're having fun it's all good. If they're biological clock is ticking that's a whole other set of issues. The rub is that by 30 or so Men are ready for a connection with no real option but to date younger women still looking for that. Yet Dating a younger women who is used to the game still may treat the man the same as a 20yr old man. It's NOT always the case.

-I'm just hoping everyone comes together by their 40's.

[Fugue]

Sorry, but this is preposterous.

Why would women let you win, if they are winning? That's utterly irrational.

The only guys that win this game you outline, in the way that you outline it, are the small percent of guys that are very attractive players, if at least relatively very attractive in relation to the local pickings. "Mercy" is irrelevant.