Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Valentine's day. A day for recognizing the love you have for your partner. A day for gifts, romantic meals and fucking. A day for couplekind to rub their happiness in the face of their perpetually-single counterparts.
So, then, what are we singles to do? Buy a vat of Ben and Jerry's, put on our sweatpants and cry ourselves to sleep? No. For preceding Valentine's day is, in my opinion, the most glorious holiday of them all.
Desperation day, February 13th. The day where sloots, divorcees and >7/10s are forced to acknowledge their lack of boyfriend. It is on this day that they become easier than stealing candy from a baby. All their friends are sat at home, drinking wine with their partners, but they are, of course, in the bar nursing a Vodka Coke and praying a man will come and save her from the aforementioned ice-cream and sadness.
This is where you come in. A sharply-dressed, well-groomed gentleman with a promising career and a reservation at a romantic restaurant. Most nights you would have to put at least a bit of effort into your game, but on this night a 9/10 has the self-esteem of a 6/10, and the depraved enthusiasm of a 2/10.
Simply approach the sloot, freshen her drink and ask her if she cares to join you to a restaurant tomorrow for a meal. Lie through your teeth. You can be whatever you like - lawyer, doctor, modelling agent... Anything you feel will make the panties drop.
The key is to NOT take her to your place. Of you do, she has your address, and may cone back. It is also important to purchase a prepaid cellphone (in case she calls the number right away to check), which would be promptly snapped and thrown from your car window afterwards. Remember, you don't actually have a dinner reservation, so it's imperative you go dark.
As much as this is common knowledge to anyone with a penis between their legs, I want that $50 gift card and getting the beta virgin mods some pussy might sway it in my favour.
Thank you, and goodbye. Oh, about the image. It made me upload something and that one makes me laugh for some reason.
What Girls & Guys Said
0 1I think this was just stupid
And I think you're an asshole
Great