Last year I worked in a hospital as a patient escort and I transported patients from point A to point B. So I got to meet and communicate with doctors, nurses, techs, etc. I am currently persuing a career in medicine(doctor) so I got to see a lot of specialties.
Anywho, I was bored with my life to be honest, I went to school, volunteered at another hospital, worked, and went home. I'm very hard and self conscious on myself. When it came to approaching a guy I was really hard on myself, but there was this ICU nurse that I always thought that was cute. I never approached him until I kind of had the balls to kind of do so.
He was a cool guy, so I wrote my number down and gave it to him, he lost it while I left on vacation but when I came back I got his number. So he basically said that he was not looking for a relationship and at the time I what not either. I thought it would be ok to hook up with him with no feelings involved because I have never been in a relationship before, and I thought that I can separate my personal feelings whenever we had sex, I WAS WRONG.I did a lot with him though, I sent him nude photos, pictures, swallowing him after sex etc. I really went out my way to please him, I honestly felt bad just thinking that I've done all those things to a guy that I am not in a relationship with.
All BS aside, he made me discover that I actually had feelings to be honest. I hate that I had to get into a friends with benefits relationship to know my worth, and that I had feelings. I thought that I would not have any in a friends with benefits situation. I just want to say even though everybodys friends with benefits situation is different, I would hope that you can learn from mines.
If you don't like how things are going in your friends with benefits situation, SPEAK UP and say how you feel. Don't hold back. I have so much feelings for a guy that only communicates with me whenever he's in town to visit. It sucks but I accepted it, because I am human. One day I would hope to find myself a great guy, for the time being I'm just working on myself, because friends with benefits situations can mess with you physically and mentally in my opinion.
Moral of the story is, If a guy tells you that he's not intrested in a relationship and you want to be in a relationship, please don't waste your time on a guy that does not want the same things that you do. And if you are in a friends with benefits relationship, and he's asking you to do things to make you question your worth, realize that you deserve better and move on with your life, and you'll find someone that will like you for you, and not just for your body.