Sexual Relationships
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Bad Attitude = Sex, But No Girlfriend. But Lots Of Sex!

Bad attitude = sex, but no girlfriend. But lots of sex!

There was a test where they let a whole bunch of women, 20-30 years old, have a quick date with 3 different men. nr 1 acted really nice and sweet but looked a little nerdy, nr 2 was a little boring but athletic and well dressed, and nr 3 acted cocky, respectless and showed his main interest was sex. He even subtly hinted that he wanted a blowjob after the date. He was better than average looking.

The women afterwards answered questions anonymously. More than 70% wanted a second date with 2, only 20% with 1 and less than 10% 3. The most shocking result was to the question, would you have a one night stand with one of them? (sex after this first date, without wanting a second date). Almost half replied yes, and about 90% of those that did, wanted to do it with nr 3. The reason was that he was straight forward, confident and showed that he was the domintant one, even though he was kind of an asshole with little respect for women. Some even wrote down that they would just give him the blowjob he asked for couse they felt intrigued by his straight forwardness, so even that did seem to work.

Apparently women dig the dominant one, just for sex, no matter if he is a nice person or not. I think it's pretty logical considering survival of the fittest. What are your thoughts on this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • doesn't surprise me, but Id still be interested in seeing the link to the study if you have it..

    I do believe women tend to have sex right away with the guys who aren't relationship material and then test the relationship guy by having him work for it.

    So in that sense the nice guys does finish last. If you have the characteristics that are conventionally desirable for long-term relationships you will

    1) have less oportunities for sex since girls are less likely to want to sleep with you right away so your partner count will typically be lower than the direct classless guy and often times lower than the girls you date.

    2) When you do get sex you typically had to wait longer and make more of a financial and emotional investment beforehand while the direct guy barely had to do anything.

    3) You also finish last in the sense that she has probaly hooked up with the direct classless guys so you are the last guy to get to sleep with her... well at least until you break up or get divorced 😜

    Another aspect is that while girls may not initially have feelings for the direct guy, the often develop feelings for him after the fact and end up wanting a relationship. Just think of all the questions on gag where girls are asking how to get their fuckbuddy or the guy they just hooked up with to see her as a girlfriend. So in a sense he gets her body with 1/10 of the effort and still sometimes gets her heart.

    I also think girls tend to be more uninhibited and more likely to have "porn star style sex" with their casual partners.

    So I sometimes think as a guy its better to have girsl initially see you as hookup material and then want more later rather than her seeing you as boyfriend/husband material right out of the gate.

    • I don't think women test the nice guys. I just think that it's almost like preconceived notion from both parties. The females assume that the 1st and 2nd guy want to date given their personality. It doesn't mean they make the other guys work harder or what not necessarily. It just means if those 1st two want sex they should speak up about it like the 3rd guy did. Both parties are to "blame" here. Also, "porn star style sex". What the heck is that?

    • Great comment. Kinda sad I guess but I'm afraid it' true. I'm a rather shy girl myself, but having split an appartement with great looking and outgoing girls, I can confirm that the "pornstar type sex" always happens on ONS and casual fucks. Been kept awake by tha more than enough. Even had to help one friend repair her bed. Never when their bfs stayed the night though...

    • @Joc4Position I do think they test them I've seen girls on the site say that. They say "if I think the guy is relationship material I hold off on sex to make sure he's into me for the right reasons. If he's just a hot asshole Ill sleep with him right away". They also try to act like they jever hookup in front of the boyfriend guy. They will be like "oh no, im not that kind of girl" when they were that kind of girl for other guys. That being said, I agree that if a guy wants sex sooner he should make it know thats what he wants. I think more guys should try to start out as fwbs and then go from there. From my observations girls develop feelings for their fuckbuddies fairly often so in most cases the girl wither directly wants it to turn into more or she would at least be open to it if the guy brought it up. So in my opinion starting out as friends with benefits is the best strategy for guys. Porn star stlye sex, fast, rough, facials, etc..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Both woman and men want sex. Men will a lot of times lower the bar for casual and up the bar for dating and their bar is based mostly on visuals (at least that's how they make it sound and seem... not a man so you guys can clarify). Girls have lots of bars, which is something guys don't tend to take in to account. Girls up bar on the ONS visually but drop the bar on everything else (personality, dateability, stability, longevity of interest) and then raise the bar on everything for the long term guy but visuals for a woman aren't nearly as important as the other stuff. The other stuff makes you sexier to her over time... she's going to need to want to have sex with you more then a few times just for the experience, she's going to have to want you for the rest of her life (or at least think it's a possibility). She wants to be with you for the rest of her life, raise her kids with you. See you as the one that is worth it, the one she wants to live her life with the one she doesn't want to live without. The ONS guy is essentially a walking dick. Woman don't like to be looked at like a walking vagina, so when they tell you you are boyfriend material it is a compliment. If someone wants to sleep with you but wants nothing else that means you got one thing going for you and in my opinion that's not a compliment but I guess that depends on what your looking for and how you think of yourself *shrugs* -lol.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • did they say bc he was direct and dominant or are you adding that

    being straight forward is always more attractive bc you know whats going on. so thats not at all susprising. ;'nice;' people p;Ay games more often than people not worrying about how they come off.

  • Are you surprised that out of those women, who want a one night stand, they choose the most attractive one?
    So what he's cocky, who cares? You're never gonna see him again. He wants only sex, so what, so do you? What is the shocking result here?

    You're making a logical error if you think women having sex with that guys has nothing to do with sex. You said he was very attractive and that's pretty much all got to bring to the table for one night stands

    It's not true that a bad attitude means lots of sex. What the study says is that, if you're very attractive, 90% of 50%, so thats 45% of all women would have a one night stand with you. But that's a low number compared to the 70% of all women who would want a date and possibly relationship with the second guy.
    Also how much of the 45% do you think is left if a guy is only average looking?

    • Second guy is the most attractive one, the athletic one. I thought I wrote it clearly but apparently not. The third one was good looking but not special. Better looking than the 1st one.

    • you said he was better than average looking, which is good looking. You said nothing about how attractive the second guy was, just that he was athletic

  • It isn't surprising. Men and women are both hypocrites in their dating and sex life. It is the same thing as guys that want to have sex with a bunch of hot sluts, but want to marry the virgin from next door. The only difference is that women do a better job hiding that hypocrisy in our culture.

  • The inherent problem with unscientific studies that do not have control groups and do not apply statistical analysis is that they always have some fatal flaw that led to an irrational conclusion. In this study the assumption that is not stressed is that the women have a, "quick date" with a guy. The implication is that the women are put in a position where they are looking for a one night stand.. Therefore the results are skewed and cannot be generalized. Given the results, the conclusion is valid but it is valid only for situations where one night stands are the initial premise.
    One cannot generalize the results or the conclusion and say, "apparently women dig the dominant ones..." The results have already been skewed by the situation. There are studies that do predict that the males who are most horny will get the most sex but that is because they seek out sex more often. Whatever journal published the above study it most certainly did not have peer review or else did not come to the conclusion that was presented here.

  • If that's true I am close to tapping into the female mind. As I am extremely straight forward and love sex. I am not dominant, respectless or overly confident though. So I guess there lies my problem?

    I am a kinda nerdy, nice and sweet and a little boring, I like to handle relationships pragmatically.

  • It disturbs me for its utilitarian approach. Get what you want from the jerk, then exploit the other guy. To cold, to calculating, it objectifies him making him nothing but a tool for her to use and discard. Probably why women initiate divorce 80% of the time, its hard to be invested in some one you see as a utility object.

  • These results match perfectly what I've seen women do. It's really common a girl would pick the player/straightforward guy for sex only. And then, when they want to settle down they'd go after a more stable guy who warranties sustainability for a family.

  • bad attitude=sex but no girlfriend. everyone focuses on the sex part but not the part that says he doesn't get the second date or a relationship

    • Yes but these same girls fuck the guy with bad attitude and also date the nice guys when they are fine with the bad guy... That's what is more bad

    • @singlebee doing it at the same time can definitely sting the other guy especially if she tells him that she wants to take her time before they get physical. But if she has a one night stand with the fool and goes on to date another type of guy I dont see what is wrong with that. Tastes and wants and desires change

    • Yes but that's slutty type of girls nobody wants

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  • its pretty fucking obvious lol its like asking dudes would you fuck a hot girl with a bad attitude 99% will say yes

  • Your post makes no sense "Bad Attitude = Sex, But No Girlfriend. But Lots Of Sex"

  • And the source is where?

    I'm not surprised though, if you're hot and a jerk, you'll get the sex, that's no news. That's why guys should have some sort of mask when they just want sex. They gotta be an asshole and be direct, even if in real life they're not like that, but it's what will get them sex.

    • I agree. Good looks can be a curse though because he knows he's hott and so, that's why most times he can get away with being an asshole.

    • good looks can get a woman in bed but a bad personality won't keep her there.

    • Until he realizes that meaningless sex is boring.

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  • I am not surprised by the results of the experiment - I have no issue with the appetite of the women for no strings attached sex - The stat I checked was the answer to the second date possible relationship question which gave me renewed faith in human nature.

  • the results were skewed. it doesn't make sense to have used 3 different levels of attractive-ness amongst the men.

  • This just adds confirmation for what lots of guys have thought for ages.

  • This doesn't prove its a test of the survival of the fittest... it just says women are most likely drawn to the aggressive dominant types for sex but it doesn't mean they are pursuing him for along term relationship

  • Not too surprising. However, there are two things that immediately come to mind.

    1) You mentioned that #3 was "above average" looking. Is it possible that what they were really attracted to was his looks opposed to his personality? A more accurate way of testing would have been to take three guys who are equally attractive but with different personalities.

    2) Before everyone starts hating on the women, just because the women said that they would prefer to have a one-night stand with #3 does not mean that they actually would. A lot of guys say that they would have sex with an attractive woman even though they know that she is bad news, though that doesn't necessarily mean that they actually would. A lot of people would listen to their higher reasoning, even if it conflicts with their more carnal appetites.

    • "A lot of people would listen to their higher reasoning, even if it conflicts with their more carnal appetites." got to disagree with this part.

  • My thought on this is 'HOW THE HELL DID THIS GET PROMOTED AS A MYTAKE.'

    • Mine too :|

    • @takumii this should've been a question in Sexual Behavior. There's nothing informative here. Women dig the dominant one? What? Why? Where's the insight? What are your sources? What led you to the conclusion. Damn it G@G. What in hell are you doing?

    • I've never seen you before and yet you're an editor.

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  • I would still rather be the "nice guy". I will not change myself for anyone.

  • Not surprised. If you want something let it be known. What she going to do other than say no? If you want to date her she still may say no.

  • Assertiveness ALWAYS turn women on (but of course there is a threshold that varies from woman to woman).

    • not always. many women prefer to be the dominant/in control partner.

    • @thewanderingme It's hard for me to believe that a woman will be sexually attracted to a guy that has and displays ZERO assertiveness 😜

    • there's no such thing as having ZERO assertiveness. just like there isn't COMPLETE assertiveness. you know what I mean. you've seen couples where the woman controls everything. those men are very passive.

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